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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Russian man to become exclusive owner of Earth's atmosphere and clouds
2005-01-08
EFL. Damn! Why didn't I think of this. And it's in Pravda, so you know it's true...
US citizen filed a declaration of ownership for Earth's Moon and the planets Mars, Venus, Mercury and other astronomic bodies
It was generally believed before that weird lawsuits and ridiculous financial intrigues could happen only in Western countries. The trend is currently becoming common for Russia too. A citizen of the town of Yeisk, in Russia's Krasnodar region, submitted an official statement to a local notary office, claiming his ownership for moisture in the Earth's atmosphere. The potential owner of clouds (clouds carry the moisture of the atmosphere), Vladimir Osipiv, says that his major objective is to struggle with environmental pollution. Local lawyers, however, say that the situation is absurd.
Wait'll Michael Newdow hears about this!
The 48-year-old lawyer from Yeisk, who used to assist the head of the local administration, is certain that his idea is quite viable, no matter how ridiculous and absurd it might seem. The man says that there is no law about the atmospheric moisture in the world. Vladimir Osipov decided to become the first individual to privatize the ownerless clouds. The conquerors of the Wild West used the same principle, when they pronounced their ownership of the land. If a sailor discovers a previously unknown island, he will be able to claim his rights for the land - this practice is still actual nowadays.
All your clouds are belong to me...
US citizen Dennis M. Hope is the brightest example of the "quiet conquest." The man filed a declaration of ownership for Earth's Moon and the planets Mars, Venus, Mercury and other astronomic bodies of the Solar system, except for the Sun and the Earth. Mr. Hope sent a written notification of his territorial claims to the UN, the USSR, the USA, China, Canada and other countries in 1980. The governments of those countries did not react to such a strange claim, which gave Denis Hope an incentive to establish his own business to sell plots on the Moon, Mars and other heavenly bodies. Seventy-two hectares of the Moon, or 80 hectares on Mars will coast a bit more than $100. It is worth mentioning that over two million people currently own their "land" on the Moon.
Why doesn't that surprise me?
Posted by:tu3031

#17  The moon and the stars have already been promised to my sweetie. Mars, Venus, and Mercury you may have, for they displease me. Especially Mercury.
Posted by: BH   2005-01-08 11:55:40 PM  

#16  Just like me to set my sights too low...I've always been happy with our 4 bedroom, 2 bath in my little corner of heaven here in Michigan.
Posted by: Constitutional Individualist   2005-01-08 8:31:24 PM  

#15  Own my soul? NFW - nice try
Posted by: Frank G   2005-01-08 8:11:49 PM  

#14  See, America has to, just has to, become Amerika and the USSA, a "near abroad" dominion of Russia-China, the SWO/CWO, and OWG, proving once again that the threat to the USA and democracy from Radical Islam is about Islam per se, NOT Socialism andor Communism!? How can any man and Clintonian Fascista own the Universe and God w/o owning the terra firma beneath it???
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2005-01-08 8:09:57 PM  

#13  Y'all can have the material things. I declare ownership of all human souls -- and the souls of their offspring in perpetuity. So there!

Let's not forget to tell young Mr. Kennedy (sorry, but I refuse to keep track of the various members of the clan) about this new opportunity to bring his legal skills to bear. Tu, please keep us updated on any follow-up to this article. I could use some harmless amusement.
Posted by: trailing wife   2005-01-08 7:40:10 PM  

#12  I wanna be the Duke of Oil!...
Posted by: mojo   2005-01-08 4:47:08 PM  

#11  Is Mr. Osipov willing to assume tort liability for flooding damage everywhere in the world?
Posted by: Steven Den Beste   2005-01-08 3:00:00 PM  

#10  I of course am hold the Weak Force in FeeSimple for me and my heirs and assigns.
Posted by: Shipman   2005-01-08 2:41:05 PM  

#9  Bid on e-bey next week.
Posted by: raptor   2005-01-08 2:20:22 PM  

#8  actually CF - I had a skin cancer on my back from so many childhood summers running around without a shirt. Sunscreen? what's that? Peel and start again...

Since you had no warning labels on your "Sun", expect to see a claim for damages from my atty.
Posted by: Frank G   2005-01-08 2:04:02 PM  

#7  I claim ownership of Space. I want rental fees for all the satellites and tolls for all the space craft flying around out there!
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2005-01-08 1:53:15 PM  

#6  Well I have dibbs on the Sun!

Now you all better start paying me for the energy you use or I'll sue!
Posted by: CrazyFool   2005-01-08 1:52:01 PM  

#5  nope - Roger Waters owns that
Posted by: Frank G   2005-01-08 1:18:34 PM  

#4  I wonder if my broker can help me find a good three family on the dark side of the moon?
Posted by: Raj   2005-01-08 1:11:00 PM  

#3  If Richard Gere can speak on behalf of the entire world than this guy can own the clouds.
Posted by: AJackson   2005-01-08 1:02:28 PM  

#2  well gravity's mine, all mine!
Posted by: Frank G   2005-01-08 12:57:58 PM  

#1  I hereby issue a fatwa declaring myself the ruler of nitrogen, oxygen and all carbon based molecules. Oh and dark matter, too. Yeah I own that, too.
Posted by: spiffo   2005-01-08 11:42:13 AM  

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