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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Man peed way out of avalanche
2005-01-28
A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.
"Tha'sh right! Tha'sh what I done! [Hic!]"
Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.
"I wuzh jush drivin' along, an' then — bang! — there she wuzh. A avull... ovalun... big-ashed snow drif'!"
He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out. But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.
"Purdy shoon there wudn't no room fer me! [Hic!]"
He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it.
"I mean, my bladder wuzh that big!"
He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."
Posted by:Fred

#12  This man used his body as a chemical reactor for turning beer into heat energy to melt his way out of an avalanche.

The guy deserves an award for genius.
Posted by: Glosing Slang5997   2005-01-28 11:30:53 PM  

#11  I don't know about the beer freezing before the urine, Sarge. The Last batch of Deacon Blues Pork Palace and Potables Parlour Stout came in at a little over 6% alcohol. I gues the Engineer in me took over for a minute there. "Watch out where the Huskies go and don't you eat the yellow snow".
Frank Zappa
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2005-01-28 9:33:19 PM  

#10  thatn my ferst thinkin to frank
Posted by: muck4doo   2005-01-28 8:55:15 PM  

#9  I'm thinking this is a good "dog ate my homework" story about why you lost your car and are wandering around smashed in a snowstorm
Posted by: Frank G   2005-01-28 8:54:23 PM  

#8  CS - yep, the beer came out at body temp.
Now lets go locate that Audi, should be by a big yellow spot along side the road.
Posted by: Crereper Thomble7321   2005-01-28 8:43:41 PM  

#7  Deacon, we are going to kick you out of the mens club if you continue to talk like that. But I think that pure beer would freeze more than urine, so he did the right thing.
Posted by: Cyber Sarge   2005-01-28 7:58:20 PM  

#6  Now that is what I'd call a holiday.
Posted by: Bulldog   2005-01-28 7:21:38 PM  

#5  Wouldn't it have been easier to just pour the beer on the snow? Oh, God, what am I saying? Pour out perfectly good beer? NEVER!

Posted by: Deacon Blues   2005-01-28 7:21:13 PM  

#4  I've never felt so, so minor league.
Posted by: Shipman   2005-01-28 6:59:18 PM  

#3  His liver hurts? How would he know?
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2005-01-28 6:56:25 PM  

#2  Did he write a book in the snow? "How I Survived the Avalanche".
Posted by: tu3031   2005-01-28 6:37:16 PM  

#1  60 bottles of beer might do it. Was it mentioned that his bladder exploded in a froth of foam.
Posted by: John Q. Citizen   2005-01-28 6:35:33 PM  

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