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| Europe |
| Vodka is the good guys' secret weapon in Ukranian election crisis |
| 2005-02-01 |
| World Net Daily--a shameless promo for one of its subscription services--link via Instapundit. EFL'd. Don't know if this is true, but I hope it is. Dr. Jack Wheeler, creator of a unique intelligence website dubbed "the oasis for rational conservatives," shares how a gift of vodka and a little ingenuity helped Ukraine's Orange Revolution succeed, bringing the former Russian satellite onto President Bush's list of new democracies. . . . "Order now and you'll also get this Ginsu knife, a Garden Weasel, and a year's supply of Oxy Clean, blah blah blah blah, yadda yadda, operators are standing by!" "Eastern Ukraine is heavily ethnic Russian. The main industry is coal. The miners are rough, tough, and hate Yushchenko for wanting to take Ukraine away from Russia and toward the West," writes Wheeler. "It was arranged for more than a thousand of them to be taken from Donetsk, the capital of the coal-mining region, by bus and train to Kiev, where, armed with clubs and blunt tools, they would physically beat up the Orange Revolutionaries. Such mass violence was not only to disperse the demonstrators but serve as an excuse for the government to declare martial law, suspending the Ukrainian Parliament (the Rada) and elections indefinitely." "Comrades! We are burly ethinc Russian coal miners! Let us go to Kiev and smash puny little orange people with our hammers!" Now comes the secret weapon: vodka. "When the miners got on their buses and trains, they found to their joy case after case of vodka — just for them. "Comrades! While on way to Kiev to smash puny little orange people with our hammers, let us open bottles of manly socialist vodka and get hammered ourselves!" When they arrived in Kiev, trucks awaited them filled with more cases of vodka — all free provided by 'friends' of the Donetsk coal miners. "Is workers' paradise here in Kiev! Free vodka!" Completely soused, they never made it to Independence Square. Too hammered blind to cause any violence at all, they had a merry time, passed out and were shipped back to Donetsk." "Comrade, is that orange elephant I am seeink?" "Nyet, Pavel, is only vodka-induced hallucination. Get out from under table." Available only to subscribers of To the Point, "Call the number on your screen!" Wheeler's column goes on to explain who provided the liquor: teams of Porter Goss' CIA working with their counterparts in British MI6 intelligence. "Well, Bond, you've done it again." "Indeed, Q, the miners are too shaken and stirred to give us any trouble." Dear God, I hope our people are that good! |
| Posted by:Mike |
| #10 like there is any amount vodka they could drink to get them that drunk. Well, 2b, here's the secret: don't provide any bread and bacon with vodka supply and they're done in no time (or relatively shortly). |
| Posted by: Sobiesky 2005-02-01 7:29:48 PM |
| #9 Goss must be hanging out w/Rove a lot these days.......deliciously evil. |
| Posted by: Jarhead 2005-02-01 7:23:28 PM |
| #8 peed their way outta an avalanche, did they? |
| Posted by: Frank G 2005-02-01 6:28:30 PM |
| #7 I hope the bus had a bathroom....or maybe not. |
| Posted by: anonymous2u 2005-02-01 6:22:37 PM |
| #6 I am the wind. I don't appear on command like certain ethnic operators do. Humph! |
| Posted by: Col. Flagg 2005-02-01 5:49:04 PM |
| #5 Where's COL Flagg when you need him? |
| Posted by: 11A5S 2005-02-01 3:53:46 PM |
| #4 Sure it wasn't the Mossad? Or MI6? Halliburton? |
| Posted by: Desert Blondie 2005-02-01 1:36:45 PM |
| #3 oh please...like there is any amount vodka they could drink to get them that drunk. I dunno about that 2b. A day or two off work with pay. Case upon case of free vodka. A long bus trip with rowdy work mates. I can see it. |
| Posted by: Mac Suirtain 2005-02-01 12:56:31 PM |
| #2 Is good shtory. Tell me again *hic* pleesh... |
| Posted by: Seafarious 2005-02-01 11:36:06 AM |
| #1 oh please...like there is any amount vodka they could drink to get them that drunk. That would be like handing out water to runners and then saying, they were too hydrated to run. |
| Posted by: 2b 2005-02-01 11:17:48 AM |