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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Judge loses robes after icky courtroom behavior |
| 2005-02-09 |
| by Julie E. Bisbee, Associated Press EFL. OKLAHOMA CITY — Jurors and others in Judge Donald Thompson's courtroom kept hearing a strange whooshing noise, like a bicycle pump or maybe a blood pressure cuff. During one trial, Thompson seemed so distracted that some jurors thought he was playing a hand-held video game or tying fly-fishing lures behind the bench. The explanation, investigators say, is even stranger than some imagined: The judge had a habit of masturbating with a penis pump under his robe during trials. Ready, everybody, all together now, one . . . two . . . three . . . Eeeeeeewwwwww, gross! Thompson, a 58-year-old "Daaad! That's disgusting." has denied the allegations, and said the pump was just a gag gift received from a hunting buddy on his 50th birthday. I don't have any "buddies" that would give me something like that . . . thank heaven! He retired in August after being threatened with removal from the bench, but still faces indecent-exposure charges brought against him last month. "You, the members of the jury, are to examine the evidence--" "Eeeew! Ick! Do we hafta?" Jim Wall, police chief in the small town of Sapulpa, said he had heard rumors of the judge's behind-the-bench activities for about a month, "The way he smiled and said 'all rise' when he entered the courtroom . . . there was just somethin' creepy 'bout it, y'know?" but added: "You've got the most powerful man in Creek County, and I think a lot people were intimidated by him." But eventually, the pressure became too much. Police built a case against the judge after one of Wall's officers testified during a 2003 murder trial. From the witness stand, the officer saw a piece of plastic tubing disappear under Thompson's robe. During a lunch break, officers took photographs of the pump under the desk. Investigators later collected carpet samples, Thompson's robes and the chair from behind the bench, and found semen, according to court records. "Guess this explains all the complaints we've been getting from the janitorial staff." Thompson's court reporter, Lisa Foster, told authorities that she saw him use the pump at least 10 times during trials. She said the first time in court was in 2000, but she did not tell authorities. "I didn't want to be found dead in a ditch somewhere," she told The Associated Press. Foster told authorities she saw Thompson use the device almost daily during the August 2003 murder trial of Kurt Vomberg, . . . The whooshing sound could be heard on Foster's audiotape of the trial. When jurors at the trial asked the judge about the sound, Thompson "They used to call him 'the hanging judge.' Now, they call him . . . " |
| Posted by:Mike |
| #3 That reminds me, I haven't looked at News of the Weird in a while. This story is a shoe-in. Great stuff there and I highly recommend it to all Rantburgundians. |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2005-02-09 11:12:48 PM |
| #2 "Judge loses robes..." Was that really the best way to phrase this? |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2005-02-09 11:10:38 PM |
| #1 This is a good chance to calibrate the Creepy Meter. |
| Posted by: Grunter 2005-02-09 8:36:46 PM |