You have commented 339 times on Rantburg.

Your Name
Your e-mail (optional)
Website (optional)
My Original Nic        Pic-a-Nic        Sorry. Comments have been closed on this article.
Bold Italic Underline Strike Bullet Blockquote Small Big Link Squish Foto Photo
Olde Tyme Religion
The Ayatollah's Book of Etiquette
2005-02-11
From "A Clarification of Questions," by Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, published in 1985 by the Westview Press. Khomeini's treatise sets out his position on 3,000 questions of everyday life. Translated by J. Borujerdi.
64. Evacuation is unlawful in four places. First, in dead-end alleys. Second, on the property of a person who has not given his permission. Third, in a place assigned to a specific group of people, such as some schools. Fourth, over the graves of the faithful, if it would be considered disrespectful.

107. The whole body of an infidel, even the hair, the nails, and its wetness, is unclean.

112. Industrial alcohol used for painting doors, tables, chairs, etc., is clean if one does not know it was made of something inebriating.

120. The sweat of a camel that eats unclean substances is unclean.

125. When a clean object touches an unclean object and one or both are wet enough to convey that wetness to the other, then the clean object becomes unclean. But if the wetness is not enough to reach the other, the clean object does not become unclean.

145. If a host, while eating, realizes that the food is unclean, he must inform his guests. But if one of the guests realizes this, it is not necessary to inform the others, unless his relations with the others are such that as a result of remaining silent he himself becomes unclean.

462. Divorcing a menstruating woman is void.

464. If a woman begins menstruating while praying, her prayer is void.

2,054. These are the major abominable dealings. First, selling real estate. Second, butchery. Third, selling shrouds. Fourth, dealing with base people. Fifth, dealing between the morning azan and the onset of sunshine. Sixth, choosing to buy and sell wheat, barley, and the like as one's occupation. Seventh, entering into a deal involving the purchase of a commodity that another person is about to buy.

2,622. Eating locusts caught with the hand or by some other means is lawful after they are dead. It is not necessary that the person who caught them be a Moslem or that he mentioned the name of God when he caught them. But if a dead locust is held by an infidel and it is not known whether it was caught alive, it is not lawful to eat it, even if the person who caught it says that he caught it alive.

2,629. It is not unlawful to swallow the food that exits from between the teeth as a result of flossing if one's nature has no aversion to it.

2,631. It is loathsome to eat the meat of a horse, a mule, or a donkey if someone has had coitus with the animal.

2,637. Several things are loathsome (abominable) when eating. First, eating while satiated. Second, excessive eating (it has been said that the God of the World dislikes a full stomach more than anything else). Third, looking at other people's faces while they are eating. Fourth, eating hot food. Fifth, blowing at what one is eating or drinking. Sixth, waiting for something else after the bread has been put on the tablecloth. Seventh, cutting bread with a knife. Eighth, putting bread under a container of food. Ninth, cleaning the meat stuck to a bone so that nothing remains on it. Tenth, peeling fruit.

2,858. The prizes that banks give to encourage borrowers, and those that institutions give to encourage buyers and customers, are lawful. The thing that sellers put inside their merchandise to attract customers and increase buyers, such as gold coins in boxes of shortening, are lawful and of no concern.

2,874. It is not unlawful to introduce a man's semen into the uterus of his wife with devices such as suction cups.

2,882. When the preservation of a Moslem's life rests on grafting an organ from a dead Moslem, severing that organ and grafting it are acceptable
Posted by:growler

#13  #2622 reminds me of a skit in The Meaning of Life, when Human Sexuality Professor John Cleese is trying to explain to his students what to do about lunch and the hanging of the coats. Thanks for this post-a very long day at work, relieved immensely by this lunacy!
Posted by: jules 2   2005-02-11 7:17:31 PM  

#12  sounds like a starting point for Juche
Posted by: Frank G   2005-02-11 7:13:48 PM  

#11  it has been said that the God of the World dislikes a full stomach more than anything else

a there your have it mercifull allan wants you hungry
Posted by: half   2005-02-11 6:54:59 PM  

#10  Here are more...

3237.1.a Taking a deep breath while facing a compass point of 64 degrees (close to east-northeast) will result in a lightning zap from allah himself because allah considers 64 degrees his private direction.

621.3.c Flatulance while walking through a date palm grove is unclean because the trees will absorbe your "deposit" and ruin the flavor of the fruit.

1215.3.x Any woman who had a snowman painted on her big toenail during a pedicure is taboo. This is an infidel woman who grew up in a cold climate and hasn't been near snow in several years. Desire is unclean.

6969.b Certain positions during copulation with goats or sheep are forbidden. It might get you kicked in the head. This is a personal warning.

so - Was the old sourpuss part English or not????
Posted by: BigEd   2005-02-11 5:09:35 PM  

#9  "Evacuation is unlawful...over the graves of the faithful, if it would be considered disrespectful."

But if you do it in a respectful manner (lifting the right leg, not the left), it's OK.
Posted by: jackal   2005-02-11 2:37:35 PM  

#8  Islam is a dead-end alley, no wonder it preyed on his mind so much
Posted by: Frank G   2005-02-11 2:10:09 PM  

#7  Words to live by: "Never look in the eye of an evacuating, menstruating, infidel woman real estate broker in a dead-end alley if she is eating dead locusts of unknown origin."
Posted by: Tom   2005-02-11 2:05:54 PM  

#6  James - or BBQ beef ribs, either.
But still, the question remains....if your cousin has had sex with an infidel goat, can you roast it up for your next party in the dead-end alley?
Posted by: Desert Blondie   2005-02-11 1:52:08 PM  

#5  Ed: so I assume that means if the animal was sodomized after death by a man, then it's o.k. to eat? No wonder these people are so fanatical...every single topic of their lives are decisions made by others. No way to live in my book.
Posted by: BA   2005-02-11 1:48:58 PM  

#4  #2637: I take it he's not a big fan of bananas?
Posted by: James   2005-02-11 1:14:18 PM  

#3  #2,631 left out the second half of Khomeini's brain nugget: Pass it off on an unsuspecting boob in the next town. Khomeini must have been a bazaar merchant in another life.

From the Dr. Homa link:
"The meat of horses, mules, or donkeys is not recommended. It is strictly forbidden if the animal was sodomized while alive by a man. In that case, the animal must be taken outside the city and sold."
Posted by: ed   2005-02-11 12:28:53 PM  

#2  2,631. It is loathsome to eat the meat of a horse, a mule, or a donkey if someone has had coitus with the animal.

Yeah, I always wondered about that.
No wonder the French loved this guy.
Posted by: tu3031   2005-02-11 12:16:07 PM  

#1  And a few more pearls of wisdom from our favorite rotting ayatollah: Khomeini's Quotes from Dr. Homa Darabi Foundation
Posted by: ed   2005-02-11 12:02:04 PM  

00:00