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Home Front: Tech
TASS: USA commissions Jimmy Carter submarine
2005-02-20
Last night NPR described the Carter as the most heavily armed submarine in history. This may come as news to the drivers of Trident subs as well. Or is there a new system in those 100 extra feet we haven’t heard of but NPR has?

NEW YORK, February 20 (Itar-Tass) - The submarine Jimmy Carter was officially commissioned on Saturday. It has become the first submarine in the U.S. history to be named after a failure living former president. I think this was so that they wouldn’t have to name a carrier after him. And if it ever gets caught in flagrante, the headline will be Jimmy Carter Caught Spying. Bwahahaha.

Jimmy Carter himself attended the ceremony. The submarine, the third and last of the Seawolf class of attack submarines, is considered the most heavily armed of all submarines ever built. Maybe this is where NPR got the idea the Jummah was badder than a boomer. Maybe this is where NPR gets all its news.

The submarine is carrying Tomahawk winged missiles and anti-submarine torpedoes. There are 50 torpedoes in the arsenal of the submarine. Precisely the number required to sink an entire ChiCom invasion fleet.

Military experts say one of its main functions is to eavesdrop on the communications passing through undersea cables. You guys found out about that, eh? The Jimmy Carter is the most noiseless submarine of the Seawolf type. Too bad he wasn’t a noiseless President too. The Carter was extensively modified from its basic design.

The submarine has cost the country 3.2 billion dollars. Specialists believe it will finish the era of powerful and costly submarines.
Posted by:Mrs. Davis

#16  Lol... Wascally Wabbit?
Posted by: .com   2005-02-20 11:06:51 PM  

#15  Peanut.
Posted by: Mrs. Davis   2005-02-20 11:03:29 PM  

#14  Rosalyn
Posted by: Frank G   2005-02-20 7:02:42 PM  

#13  I wonder what nickname the crew is going to bestow on the Carter.
Posted by: Matt   2005-02-20 7:00:05 PM  

#12  ...The USN took the opportunity to name the most secret and low-profile vessel in the fleet after Jimmah before some idiot President ordered a CVN named after him. (You could BET that had Algore won in '00, CVN-78 would have been USS James E. Carter instead of USS George H.W. Bush)
The good news is that Congress passed a non-binding resolution a couple of years ago that the first of the new generation of carriers should be named Lexington .

Mike
Posted by: Mike Kozlowski   2005-02-20 6:48:10 PM  

#11  Lol - mebbe it's a hint to Jimmah to get on with it and eat the Drano sent to him anonymously.
Posted by: .com   2005-02-20 6:21:49 PM  

#10  I'm just opposed to naming anything for a living person. It just reeks of Stalinism.
Posted by: 11A5S   2005-02-20 6:10:22 PM  

#9  "Are we supposed to lose our edge and return to the woeful state we were in at the beginning of WWII?"

At NPR, that would not be considered a rhetorical question. And on the DU site, the answer to that question would be considered obvious.
Posted by: Matt   2005-02-20 5:55:20 PM  

#8  The "Jimmy Carter" has ended the era of powerful and costly submarines: it has started the era of weak and costly submarines...
Posted by: JFM   2005-02-20 5:18:25 PM  

#7  Jimmah was a submariner when he was in the Navy, but I still like the headline and I'll bet I'm not the first to think of it.
Posted by: Mrs. Davis   2005-02-20 4:46:50 PM  

#6  That's gotta be the most expensive spitball shooter ever built.
Posted by: Chris W.   2005-02-20 4:45:37 PM  

#5  Am I missing something here? Most of the 'Presidential' ships have been nuke aircraft carriers. Is this something new? Or is there more to this?
Posted by: Unagum Elminelet3876   2005-02-20 4:42:56 PM  

#4  Actually its the last Seawolf class to be done. The followup class will be the Virginia class submarines which are supposed to be cheaper while attaining approximately 90% of the same capabilities of the Seawolf class in a slightly smaller hull, at the same time the Virginia class is supposed to be designed for closer to coast warfare unlike our normal deep blue ocean types.
Posted by: Valentine   2005-02-20 4:02:05 PM  

#3  The submarine has cost the country 3.2 billion dollars. Specialists believe it will finish the era of powerful and costly submarines.

Spare me. The only times NPR types are 'concerned' about the cost of federal expenditures are 1) when they're made by the military and / or 2) when they're made by a Republican President.
Posted by: Raj   2005-02-20 3:19:15 PM  

#2  "Specialists believe it will finish the era of powerful and costly submarines."

What? I can understand that we may not build as many as we used to in Cold War times, but there's no way in hell we should give up building bigger and better subs--or any other weapons platform, for that matter! Do any of these "specialists" read history? Are we supposed to lose our edge and return to the woeful state we were in at the beginning of WWII?
Posted by: Dar   2005-02-20 2:31:18 PM  

#1  Key woid is Heavily Armed... itn have big arms and elbows.
Posted by: Mums the woid   2005-02-20 1:36:22 PM  

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