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Afghanistan/South Asia
Tales from the Crossfire Gazette
2005-03-29
Alleged mugger killed in crossfire
An alleged mugger was killed in crossfire when members of the gang encountered a police team at Shyampur in the city late Sunday night. The dead was identified as Kawser, 20, son of Sukur. He used to live at Gaspipe Lane area in Shyampur. Reportedly the chief of 'Kawser bahini,' he was wanted in a number of cases including two of murder. Police said, Kawser, along with his two of his accomplices Abdul Quader and Basiruddin alias Imon, stormed into a computer shop at Alam Market at Jurain of Shyampur at about 11:30pm. They reportedly took away Tk 2,500 and two mobile phone sets.
"Can you hear me now? Good!"
Later, they went on mass snatching in the Gaspipe Lane area. As a team of patrol police rushed there, the gang members charged cocktails on the team to flee.
"Sarge, they're charging cocktails on our bar tab!" "The fiends! Get them, boys!"
Police returned the fire to nab the criminals. At one stage, Kawser was hit by bullet and died on the spot.
"Aaaah, they got me! Rosebud!"
In the next stage he was hit again...
Police chased and arrested Quader and Imon with the help of local people. Police recovered the booty including cash and mobile sets along with a knife and a live cocktail from their possession. Police said, local people brought out a procession hailing the killing of Kawser, who was wanted in Labu and Deelbahar murder cases.
"Huzza! Kawser's dead! Drinks all around!"
"Bartender! Cocktails for everyone!"
Three cases were filed with Shyampur police station in this connection. Body of Kawser was sent to Mitford Hospital morgue for post-mortem.
"He's dead, Jim!"
Meanwhile, police recovered a body of an unidentified young man from Madartek under Sabujbagh police station in the city yesterday morning. The unidentified about 25-year-old man was tortured to death by unidentified miscreants sometime on Sunday night, police suspected. On information. Sabujbagh police recovered the body at about 11:30 am, both hands of was tied, from near the wall of a building. The body was sent to Dhaka Medical College Hospital for autopsy.
"He's dead, Jim!"
"This part of him looks dead, too, Bones!"

Red Handed Chicken Seller Nabbed
A man was caught red handed in the city''s Mirpur area on Monday while selling dead chickens at different hotels. The police arrested Azad (20), a resident of Road No-4, Kalshi under Pallabi police station with 53 dead chickens while he was supplying them to hotels at 11 am.
"Evening, Azad. What's with the birds?"
"They're dead, Jim!"
According to Mirpur police, Azad is a regular supplier of dead chickens in the area.
Guess there's no selling dead chickens without a permit
A case was filed with Mirpur police station in this connection.

RAB seizes 63 firearms, arrests 202 in Rajshahi
RAJSHAHI, Mar 27:—Rapid Action Battalion (RAB)-5 seized 63 firearms along with 124 ammunition and arrested 202 alleged criminals from various parts of Rajshahi division during the last 12 months, reports BSS. RAB sources said, the seized firearms, included nine pistols, 13 revolvers, 15 pipe-guns, three rifles, 10 shutter- guns, five SBBL guns, one air-pistol, several single-barrel guns, 124 ammunition, 40 crude bombs, 14 cocktails and 54 lethal weapons.
You could find more guns under one persons bed in Afghanistan
Other drug items, including 11,906 bottles of phensidyl, 2.650 kilograms of heroin, 17.850 kilograms of hemp, 260 ample of morphine injection, 20-litre alcohol, 81-litre liquor, three bottles of poison and 300 grams of narcotics were recovered. In addition to recovering 290 sacs of chemicals, 5.5 kilograms of explosive, seven black and touchstone statues and 5.850 kilograms of raw materials for making phensidyl were also seized by the elite force.
"Careful, Mahmoud! Don't light a match! And don't breathe too deep!"
Some 202 alleged criminals, including a good number of outlawed extremists were brought to book.
"Awright, youse! Into the paddy wagon wit' yez!"
"All 202 of us?"
Meanwhile, the crime rate has been reduced to a greater extent in the city and its adjoining areas especially in the outlawed infested areas under Rajshahi, Naogaon, Natore, Pabna, Bogra and Sirajganj districts due to the RAB deployment, police and other law-enforcing agency sources said. Talking to BSS President of Rajshahi Chamber of Commerce and Industry (RCCI) Lutfor Rahman said the RAB operation had been playing a vital role in ensuring peace and security last year. "We are relieved from anxiety since the RAB operation started and this should be continued for smooth running of our business," Rahman said adding that drug lords and smugglers in the region should be arrested and tried. People of all religious communities have celebrated their respective religious festivals with peace and enthusiasm last year as the law and order improved remarkably, police sources said.
Leaving out the usual grenades being tossed into said religious festivals.

7 bombs recovered in Jessore
"Honey, have you seen my bombs?"
"Oh, dear! I think I left them in Jessore. I took them out of my purse when I was looking for my wallet..."
JESSORE, Mar 28: The police here today recovered seven bombs from different places and sent those to explosive experts of Bangladesh Army for investigation, reports BSS. According to Kotwali thana, police recovered one bomb from in front of the gate of local journalist Hanif Dakua''s house and the rest from the Government Chicken Farm at Shankarpur.
The old "exploding chicken" gag
A threatening letter was found with the bomb sent to Hanif, photojournalist of the Daily Loksamaj.
"Dear Hanif, stop taking my picture. "
Posted by:Steve

#7  We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers . . . and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.

It's important too be prepared. It's a 500 miles run and who knows what might be lacking at the destination?

Heh... I used to could name all no Sunday sales/dry counties in Florida, I'm seriously slipping.

/good
Posted by: Shipman   2005-03-29 5:40:33 PM  

#6  We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers . . . and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.
Posted by: gromky   2005-03-29 3:16:00 PM  

#5  Excellent, Kong. Loved that movie.
Posted by: Captain Pedantic   2005-03-29 2:43:45 PM  

#4  Other drug items, including 11,906 bottles of phensidyl, 2.650 kilograms of heroin, 17.850 kilograms of hemp, 260 ample of morphine injection, 20-litre alcohol, 81-litre liquor, three bottles of poison and 300 grams of narcotics were recovered.

Hey you know a fella good have a pretty good time in Karachi with all this stuff.
Posted by: abu Major Kong   2005-03-29 1:34:41 PM  

#3  Am I the only one who thinks that the Crossfire Gazette is really written by some Harvard intern who's spending a semester having nonstop laughs? It's too consistently funny to be real.
Posted by: Captain Pedantic   2005-03-29 1:17:24 PM  

#2  Another wonderful report from Bangladesh.
Posted by: Sock Puppet 0’ Doom   2005-03-29 12:32:31 PM  

#1  Gaspipe Lane? That's appropriate...
Posted by: tu3031   2005-03-29 9:31:49 AM  

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