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| China-Japan-Koreas |
| Another KCNA Exclusive: DPRK Invents Bandaids |
| 2005-04-12 |
| Technology contines it's relentless march in the DPRK! Pyongyang, April 11 (KCNA) -- Curative plastic sheets Nos. 1 and 2 have been developed by scientists in the textile field of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. They are polypropylene and polyethylene sheets treated in an electronic way. With the sheets one can cure various diseases by oneself in any places without medical apparatuses and medicines. When they are pasted to the points to be treated, it helps recover the function of abnormal minute electric current, damaged cells and tissues in human body and activate metabolism. Available soon at a Dr. Kimmie's House of Medicine Stuff near you. Sheet No.1 is for external wounds such as gash, abscess and burn and sheet No. 2 for internal diseases such as contusion, bone fracture, neuralgia, indigestion, stomach cramps and inflammation. When combined with Super Water, the patient can perhaps live forever. The years of clinical test shows that patients who had long suffered from sore finger and tympanitis recovered health with one-time use of the sheet and obstinate simple necrosis patients with six-time use. And babies under six months cured pneumonia with the help of the sheets. I don't know what "obstinate simple necrosis" is, but it doesn't sound good. |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #7 Deacon's was funnier. |
| Posted by: phil_b 2005-04-12 10:58:27 PM |
| #6 Typical Spemble trek houmor. 6.7 |
| Posted by: Shipman 2005-04-12 6:19:26 PM |
| #5 "Spock, you useless pointy-eared twit, hand me my Tricorder". "No need to insult Doctor, may I sugggest that instead you apply this polyprolylene and polyethylene sheeet to the affected area and thus promote recovery?" "Too late, he's dead, Jim." |
| Posted by: Spemble Whaimp3886 2005-04-12 2:45:37 PM |
| #4 I'm waiting on their home surgery kit, "Suture Self". |
| Posted by: Deacon Blues 2005-04-12 1:45:09 PM |
| #3 BigEd - your invisible bandage is um. . invisible! |
| Posted by: Doc8404 2005-04-12 12:59:32 PM |
| #2 |
| Posted by: BigEd 2005-04-12 12:03:40 PM |
| #1 In even better news - mark May 17 on your calendar - DVD release of Team America: World Police (2004) Voices of Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Kristen Miller, Masasa, Daran Norris, Phil Hendrie. Rated and unrated editions. Extras: "Team America: An Introduction"; production featurettes: "Building the World"; "Crafting the Puppets"; "Pulling the Strings"; "Capturing the Action"; "Miniature Pyrotechnics"; "Up Close With Kim Jong-Il"; "Dressing Room Test"; "Puppet Test"; deleted and extended scenes and outtakes; animated storyboards. (Paramount). |
| Posted by: Frank G 2005-04-12 10:08:46 AM |