| But you get to wear a special fan belt on your dish towel, and you become privy to the Secret Handshake. |
BURAYDAH, Saudi Arabia - Hours before polling stations open for the final stage of Saudi Arabia's first nationwide elections Thursday, candidates in this authoritarian kingdom said they hoped for more than a symbolic outcome.
| "Mahmoud, it's only hours before polling stations open for the final stage of our very first nationwide elections. I hope there's more than a symbolic outcome!" |
But voters were skeptical that the Saudi royal family, which controls everything most of the key posts in the government, will cede much power to the elected councils. Those elected will "have to do whatever the leaders decide," said a Buraydah man who gave his name only as Badr.
| Sucks to live in a feudal state, doesn't it? |
The vote will not dilute the regime's ultimate authority. The ruling family does not tolerate dissidents who call for a constitutional monarchy and elected parliament in this country of 26 million.
| "A constitutional monarchy? An elected parliament? Orf wiff 'is 'ead!" |
The elections come as the royal family is cracking down on wackos and disgruntled princes militants seeking to overthrow the ruling House of Saud.
[BANG! BANG! BANGETY BANG!]
"Mahmoud! They got us surrounded!"
"Feet, don't fail me now!"
"Hey! Where'd they go?" |
Nationwide, about 600 of some 1,200 council members are being elected. A total of 244 seats are up for grabs in the final round of the three stage elections for half the members of the 178 municipal councils across Saudi Arabia. Cities to vote Thursday include Jiddah, Mecca and Medina in the western province. Men will also cast ballots in the northern regions of Qassim, Hail, Tabuk, and also in Jouf on the northern frontier with Iraq and Jordan. More than 4,600 candidates are courting the votes of some 333,000 men aged over 21 who have registered to cast their ballots, according to election officers. Women are not and will never be permitted to vote in Saudi Arabia.
| "No, you can't vote! Now get out back and graze!" |
In Buraydah, some 200 candidates are contesting six seats, half of the city's council members. Like many candidates in this town, considered a stronghold for powerful Wahabbi clergy.
Businessman Mohammed al-Saeed asked a prominent turban cleric to put the fix in address one of his election's meetings. Al-Saeed, a real estate investor, said he would do his best to implement the people's wishes, especially improving the city's outdated infrastructure. "People are entitled to have their needs fulfilled and I will work to fulfill them," he said.
| Check with the princes first, though. |
| "Princes... fulfill all needs... we are... very happy... [bzdeep!]" |
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