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Afghanistan/South Asia
Nuggets from the Urdu Press
2005-06-04
Bush makes new Quran
According to Khabrain, a newspaper in Egypt disclosed that President Bush had ordered Jews to make a new 12-part Quran called Furqan Al Haq, which would twist and change the Quranic message, cause heresy amongst Muslims and render them apostate. A first edition has already been published, but the plan is to turn the Muslims away from Islam in four years.

No jihad in Waziristan
Quoted in the daily Pakistan, corps commander Peshawar General Safdar Hussain stated that the jihad in Waziristan was actually fasad waged after taking money from the Al Qaeda. He said that his troops had killed 300 terrorists, out of which 150 were foreigners. He said that there was a complete terrorist network in the agency, along with communication technology training centres and a treasury. He said that terrorism did not end after the death of Nek Muhammad, because there were thousands of Nek Muhammads in Waziristan. He said that after the military operation, the terrorists had been dispersed.

"Ghoonsay" in parliament
Sarerahe in Nawa-e-Waqt discussed the exchange of mughalizaat (dirty swear words) between law minister Wasi Zafar and JUI leader Hafiz Hussain Ahmad. After the two exhausted their nangi (naked) curses, they fell upon each other and exchanged ghoonsay (fists) too.

Chaudhry Zahur Elahi's death
The famous lawyer MA Rehman told the daily Pakistan that Chaudhry Zahur Elahi was a close friend of Justice Maulvi Mushtaq, who had hanged Bhutto. After Bhutto's death, he knew that Al Zulfikar was targeting him. He took MA Rehman in his car to see Maulvi Mushtaq. After that, they decided to go to condole someone's father's death. On the way back, their car was attacked. First the tyre was flattened with a bullet. After that, two grenades were thrown. One exploded and killed the driver, while its shrapnel entered the brain of Chaudhry Zahur Elahi who had insisted on sitting in the front seat. Maulvi Mushtaq too was hurt, but Chaudhry Zahur Elahi died of his wound. Bullets had been fired at them from a car.

Asra Numani not related to Shibli
Quoted in Nawa-e-Waqt, the surviving granddaughter of the famous Indian Muslim scholar Shibli Numani, Momina Numani, said in Karachi that Asra Numani — who had arranged the woman-led namaz in the United States — was no relative of hers. The 70-year old lady said that she had never heard of Asra in her family. Her husband Suhail Sultan Khan, 74, was a retired captain of the army and the pious couple did not allow even a TV in their house.

Col Ameer Imam speaks on the Taliban
Quoted in Nawa-e-Waqt, an ex-ISI officer who was at one time posted in Herat during the Afghan war, Col (Retd) Sultan Ameer Imam, said that the Taliban were not trained by Pakistan and that not a single army officer was involved in the Afghan civil war. He was speaking at the Area Study Centre, Peshawar University, along with General (Retd) Nasirullah Babar. He told the students that Afghan students were first trained in Pakistan in 1973 under Bhutto. He was called from Cherat and asked to report at the training camps to General Babar in 1973. Thus, he was the first to train the Afghans. When he arrived in Peshawar, he was made to meet some students from Kabul University, prominent amongst whom were Gulbuddin Hekmatyar and Ahmad Shah Massoud. Briefing on the training plan was given by Major Sherpao, now the interior minister. He said the Taliban were first approved by the Americans.

Gas from Turkmenistan not feasible
Quoted in Khabrain, chairman Sui Northern Gas Pipeline General (Retd) Ghulam Safdar Butt said that the plan to import gas from Turkmenistan was not feasible because of the trouble in Afghanistan, but Pakistan would go ahead with the Iranian pipeline project from which Pakistan would get $150 million annually as royalty if India joined it. He said that it was wrong to say that royalty from this pipeline to Pakistan would be $500 million or more. He said that Qatar gas was another project which was also not feasible, because of the difficulty of maintaining undersea pipelines.

Umar Bakri, Umar Abdur Rehman and Dr Israr
Writing in the daily Pakistan, Tanvir Qaiser Shahid stated that British Islamist Umar Bakri had been in jail for verbal aggression. He was originally a Syrian who had run away from Hafez Al Asad and got British nationality. He took out a journal in London named Khilafah, in which he abused the Quaid-e-Azam while advancing the cause of the banned-in-Pakistan organisation Hizb al Tahrir, which was 'exported' to Pakistan from the UK. Umar Bakri's fiery speeches were identical to Egyptian Umar Abdur Rehman, who had tried to blow up the Trade Centre in New York in 1993 and was in jail in the US. In Pakistan, Dr Israr was in favour of Hizb al Tahrir, wanted khilafat to replace democracy and was at times insulting towards the Quaid-e-Azam. In Qaumi Digest (April 2005) he said that Islam could not be enforced in Pakistan because of Jinnah.
Posted by:Fred

#12  Yes! Another Spem has evolved!
Posted by: Shipman   2005-06-04 17:04  

#11  I read recently that some old scrolls were found in a cave recently concerning the early days of the RoP and translated by some German professors. As I recall, after the scrolls were translated, the Germans realized that some of the scrolls contradicted the Korran as now known. Further, if they published it, they might get fatwaed. So they decided to cover it up.
Posted by: Brett   2005-06-04 12:50  

#10   up third, B-2s sliding in at 0 dark thirty with 35,000 copies of JDAM.
Posted by: bigjim-ky   2005-06-04 11:51  

#9  up second, B-2s sliding in at 0 dark thirty with 35,000 copies of Steely Dan.

Insh'allah
Posted by: W. Spembel Burroughs   2005-06-04 10:54  

#8  A first edition has already been published, but the plan is to turn the Muslims away from Islam in four years.

Hee hee, next up B-2s sliding in at mightnight with 35,000 copies of the Naked Lunch.
Posted by: Shipman   2005-06-04 10:16  

#7  So how can anyone tell which copy is authentic? Dan Rather, call your office!
Posted by: john   2005-06-04 08:43  

#6  Oh you can, most of the "facts" are whle cloth. Yes people can be this ignorant.
Posted by: Sock Puppet 0’ Doom   2005-06-04 04:21  

#5  After the two exhausted their nangi (naked) curses, they fell upon each other and exchanged ghoonsay (fists) too.

You just can't make this stuff up.
Posted by: Rafael   2005-06-04 04:05  

#4  On the orders of the Jooos, tw. Instructions coming via diplomatic pouch straight outta Tel Aviv.
Posted by: Seafarious   2005-06-04 02:33  

#3  No, no, no! What ignorant people: it's the Saudis who are rewriting the Koran, and destroying any of the old version that is brought to their shores.
Posted by: trailing wife   2005-06-04 02:25  

#2  //Bush makes new Quran//

all bushes are meker litle korrans. studdee anatoemee sumday! thatn wat toylets ar fore.
Posted by: muck4doo   2005-06-04 00:08  

#1  furst agayn fro nugents!
Posted by: muck4doo   2005-06-04 00:02  

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