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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Man caught having sex with sheep (
2005-06-21
A RB favorite!
A COBBLER suspected of sorcery was attacked and nearly lynched by outraged villagers in central Kenya today after being caught having sex with a female sheep, witnesses and officials said.
"Of course it's a female! Whaddya think I am? Some kind of pervert?"
Joshua Kiplagat, 36, sustained a serious head wound when the sheep's owner threw a machete at him after finding him in flagrante delicto with a prize ewe in the Rift Valley district of Bomet, they said.
"Hey, get away from my girlfriend!"
He was then tied to a tree stump for five hours before being frogmarched naked with the violated ovine in tow to a police station where he confessed to several acts of bestiality that he blamed on the devil, they said. "I was sent by the devil to do that," Kiplagat told the angry crowd which included several people who accused him of being a warlock.
Classic "The Devil made me do it!" defense
"That's right! The Devil sent me to doink your sheep! All your sheep!"
One woman claimed to have seen him engaging in sex acts with a dog.
"And yer little dogs, too!"
"I saw this man mounting a dog two weeks ago at around seven in the evening and I was so surprised," said the woman, who gave her name as Leah. The bloodied shoe repairer adamantly denied allegations that he was a wizard and insisted that his affection for animals was limited to sheep.
"And sometimes goats. But usually just sheep..."
"... But not cats. No, never cats ..."
"What do you think I am, a pervert?"
"I only made love to the ewe twice using two condoms but I never do it regularly," he said in his defence.
Well, as long he's practicing safe sex...
Bomet assistant district chief Paul Kikwai, who was present at the police station, expressed shock at the incident and vowed that Kiplagat would be punished although he made no comment on the villagers' actions. "We have never seen such incidents here and we are just wondering how many people around here engage in this kind of acts," he said.
That's more information than I want to know, thanks
Posted by:anonymous5089

#19  I swear she never said no, she kept coming on to me..showing me her hindquarters and telling me how baaaaad she was. She was asking for it.

And I was just helping that dog too, I swear I don't even like Michael Jackson's music!

I'd never have sex with a dog..that's gross. Besides what would my honey lamb say if she knew I was cheating on her with that bitch?
Posted by: Mountain Man   2005-06-21 18:36  

#18  This one will go down in the RB Sink Trap Classic Department.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2005-06-21 18:30  

#17  Jeeez, just another RB sheep story.

How long you been holding on to that graphic? :>
Posted by: Shipman   2005-06-21 17:58  

#16  The bloodied shoe repairer [...] insisted that his affection for animals was limited to sheep.

"All those bitches meant nothing to me! It's ewe I love!"
Posted by: BH   2005-06-21 16:09  

#15  What did the sheep say after the event?

Not baaaaad
Posted by: Captain America   2005-06-21 15:55  

#14  virgin wool comes from ugly sheep
All the sheep look pretty at closing time...
Posted by: Steve   2005-06-21 15:54  

#13  the rantburg graphics are an amazing work of art.
Posted by: 2b   2005-06-21 15:54  

#12  So now are we going to have to allow MBM (man-beast-marriage) along with gay marriage?

It's a veddy veddy baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea.
[/overworked pun]
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2005-06-21 15:51  

#11  virgin wool comes from ugly sheep
Posted by: Frank G   2005-06-21 15:04  

#10  Musical score: "Embraceable Ewe"...
Posted by: mojo   2005-06-21 14:51  

#9  If you haven't seen Jim Jarmusch's "Night On Earth," especially the Rome sequence featuring Roberto Benigni, you should. Very funny.
Posted by: Tibor   2005-06-21 14:21  

#8  It's getting harder and harder to find virgin wool anymore.
Posted by: Dar   2005-06-21 14:08  

#7  "caught having sex with a female sheep"

That's his problem.

Everyone knows he's supposed to screw male sheep. (Whenever he can't find little boys.)

Nice to see he used a condom, though; wouldn't want the poor sheep to catch anything.
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2005-06-21 13:25  

#6  "I only made love to the ewe twice using two condoms but I never do it regularly," he said in his defence.

...because it's only gross if you make it a habit, right? Besides, he wasn't "having sex" with the the sheep -- he was "making love". Bought her a bag of oats and everything.
Posted by: BH   2005-06-21 13:23  

#5  Enough of these sheep thrills and baaad puns. Ewe should be ashamed of yourselves. It's getting too wild and wooly around here.
Posted by: Mike   2005-06-21 13:20  

#4  Sheep:
People, why do they f*** hate us?
Posted by: Spot   2005-06-21 13:10  

#3  But... But... That's Black Bart's girl!
Posted by: Fred   2005-06-21 12:54  

#2  So that's where sheeple come from!
Posted by: Dar   2005-06-21 12:27  

#1  A prized ewe?
EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Posted by: tu3031   2005-06-21 12:15  

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