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| Afghanistan/South Asia |
| Mulla Omar Stunt Double Hits the Skids |
| 2005-08-11 |
| PESHAWAR: A lookalike of Taliban leader Mulla Mohammad Omar is leading a miserable life in his native Kandahar due to constant fear of being caught or harassed. "Yep, poverty, famine and war woulda been swell 'cept I'm the spittin' image. It was great fer meetin' the ladies in the old days though. Sigh." Syed Gul Agha, who belongs to Kandahar's Dhand district, has demanded action against two men who took his pictures in Kandahar around two years ago and later publicized them as true photographs of Mulla Omar. He alleged that Khalid Ahmad and Naqibullah photographed him by saying that they wanted to keep his pictures as momentoes. "There's somethin' about you. I can't quite place it. Mind if I shutterbug?" In an interview with the Pajhwok Afghan News Service, Agha claimed Khalid Ahmad got asylum in the US by handing the mock pictures of Mulla Omar to the American authorities. It all comes clear. We've been chasing the wrong guy. "Calling all cars: Look for the fella missin' the right eyeball, not left." He said Naqibullah was son-in-law of Mulla Shahzada, who was arrested by the US military sometimes back and freed recently after keeping him in custody for 26 months in Bagram and Guantanamo Bay. Agha, who closely resembles Mulla Omar, Still? I woulda poked out my other eyeball by this point in the story. described Khalid Ahmad and Naqibullah as 'fraudsters.' We call 'em gansta fraudstas to be exact. He complained that his pictures were later published by an Afghan journal, Nawasht, and by some Pakistani newspapers and captioned as that of Mulla Omar. He said he had to leave his farmland and suffer economic losses when life became difficult for him in Kandahar. "Those pesky Americans and their helicopters. And the poppy crop was going so well, too. Alas..." He also said he was unable to accompany his son to the hospital when he was injured in a bomb blast in Kandahar. "Don't laugh, infidel. You try buildin' a bomb with both eyes poked out." Pajhwok Afghan News Service reported that Agha accompanied Kandahar Ulema Council's member Mulla Mohammad Salim to Kabul recently for a meeting with President Hamid Karzai to seek his help in tackling problems arising from his resemblance with Mulla Omar. President Karzai reportedly assured him to tackle the issue. El Presidente: Mohammad, fetch the presidential patch. There you go. Try that on. Voila, you're a new man. No one will mistake you for Omar again. The gold glitter and ruffles really suit you. Agha: Peace be upon your soul, your excellency. I am cured. El Presidente: It was nothing, really. Mohammad, don't forget to order a new case of eye patches from Disney. I don't care, get the funds from the widow's and orphan's fund. What do you mean you spent it on ketchup packets? What is this country coming to. |
| Posted by:Zpaz |
| #5 maybe one's brown? |
| Posted by: Frank G 2005-08-11 22:07 |
| #4 Just look at the guys face; if he has BOTH eyes intact, then he's not the real deal. |
| Posted by: Bomb-a-rama 2005-08-11 21:06 |
| #3 Thank you, Shipman. 8^) |
| Posted by: Zpaz 2005-08-11 20:11 |
| #2 Damn, superior inline. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2005-08-11 18:22 |
| #1 He looks like Blinky? What a lucky guy... |
| Posted by: tu3031 2005-08-11 12:46 |