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India-Pakistan
Nuggets from the Urdu Press
2005-12-10
Headless corpse walks around in Bhera
According to Khabrain, a dead person without a head was walking around in the vicinity of Bhera and all villages around the area had suspended activity at night to avoid confronting the sarkati laash (headless corpse). The experts of amiliyaat (magic) said that this could not be a jinn because jinns did not do this trick; it must be a saya which they would exorcise in 48 hours. Meanwhile the people had taken to staying (dubbak) at home.

UK bomber buried in Samundari
According to the Nawa-e-Waqt, the UK suicide bomber of July 7, Tanvir Shehzad, was brought from London and buried in a village in Samundari in the Punjab. His father belonged to Azad Kashmir from Mangla and had migrated to the UK. Tanvir’s brother and sisters ran a restaurant in London while Tanvir was a student. He was buried in Samundari because his father was given alternative land for the ones he had lost to Mangla Dam. The people of Samundari who attended his funeral said he was a not a terrorist.

Open the safe of 12 billion!
Writing in the Nawa-e-Waqt, Irfan Siddiqi said that now that the West was not willing to pay cash to Pakistan for the relief of the quake-stricken, Pakistan should open the safe (tijori) of $12 billion in the foreign exchange reserve and come to the help of the people. He said that one could not go on wearing the necklace (jhoomar) of Islamabad’s capitulation on its Afghan policy.

Stop ‘The Message’ film!
Quoted in the Nawa-e-Waqt, Lahore chief of Jamia Ashrafia, Mufti Hamidullah, said that the film The Message being shown on a TV channel must be stopped forthwith because it was showing the likenesses of some Companions of the Prophet (pbuh), which was forbidden. He said the film was a conspiracy against the Muslim ummah and a most heinous plot to bring insult to the names of the Companions. He said that the TV channel showing the film should be punished for showing it. The NWFP assembly had already tabled a resolution against the film.

Allah happy, Bush unhappy!
Quoted in Khabrain, leader of former Lashkar-e-Taiba Hafiz Saeed said that the Quran had not been made the constitution of Pakistan which was a great injustice and for which Pakistan was being punished. He said Pakistan should not beg from America, India and Israel because this was a great sin. He said if the Quran was made Constitution, Allah would be happy but Bush would be unhappy. According to the daily Pakistan, Sheikhupura police registered a case against him for bringing the name of the Musharraf government into contempt.

Nawaz Sharif gets a new face
According to Khabrain after having given himself fake hair on the head, ex-prime minister of Pakistan Nawaz Sharif had got his face lifted from a Pakistani surgeon. He was satisfied by the young look he had got from his new hair but was bothered that his face was too fat and did not go with the new hair. The doctor lived in Sarwar Palace - the Sharif family home in Jedda – and gave him a new face.

World is a dirty place
Quoted in the daily Khabrain, Allama Tahirul Qadiri said that Muslims had become low after adopting the world whereas they should have cared only for the Hereafter. He said world was dunya in Arabic and its root meant low (ghatiya). It was wrong, he said, to become involved in this world.

America is slow to rescue
Writing in the daily Pakistan, Nasim Shahid said that America was very quick when it wanted to attack and occupy a country but was slow in aiding others. Hameed Gul said that every day, Americans promised the arrival of aid but it appeared that this aid was being sent from America on slow-moving mules. Had Israel been hit, this aid would have reached immediately.

Cricket stars hate five-star hotels
According to Khabrain, Pakistan cricket stars left their training camp in Lahore and went to Gujranwala to spread Islam (tabligh). The 18 cricketers included Inzimamul Haq, Saqlain Mushtaq, Muhammad Yusuf, Shoaib Malik, Salman Butt, etc. They said that they did not like the five-star hotel in Lahore where they were staying, but loved to live in the mosque instead.

Don’t take Israeli aid
Writing in the Jang, Hamid Mir stated that Pakistan should be very careful while accepting earthquake relief aid from Israel. Very soon, America and Israel were going to attack Syria or Iran (with Israel attacking Iran), in which case Pakistan would be fighting on the side of Iran and it would look very odd if Pakistan took Israel’s aid.

Lady DSP and naked men
According to Sarerahe in the Nawa-e-Waqt, there was a lady DSP in Multan who had developed the technique of extracting confessions from men after making them naked. Male prisoners had complained that the method of torture was extremely cruel. According to the daily Pakistan, DSP Talat Habib stripped young man Amir, then made him stand upside down against a wall in a totally naked condition. A case was registered against her.
Posted by:Fred

#9  
Posted by: Shipman   2005-12-10 14:28  

#8  Instead, the Northwest Frontier Province government - whose parliament held a minutes silence in memory of their countryman who murdered 2 CIA agents

Mir Aimal Kasi - Executed in Virginia Nov 2002.

Statement by Governor Warner Regarding the Scheduled Execution of Mir Aimal Kasi:

RICHMOND — Governor Mark R. Warner today issued the following statement regarding the request for clemency in the case of Mir Aimal Kasi:“In the morning of January 25, 1993, several vehicles were waiting at a traffic light on Route 123 near the main entrance to the headquarters of the Central Intelligence Agency. Mir Aimal Kasi, armed with an AK-47 assault rifle, emerged from another vehicle stopped behind those waiting at the traffic light. Mr. Kasi began to walk among the vehicles, firing into them with his weapon. Within a few seconds, Mr. Kasi had murdered Frank Darling and Lansing Bennett, and wounded Nicholas Starr, Calvin Morgan, and Stephen Williams. “After a ten-day trial in November 1997, a Fairfax County jury found Mr. Kasi guilty of capital murder of Mr. Darling, murder of Mr. Bennett, malicious woundings of Mr. Starr, Mr. Morgan, and Mr. Williams, and five charges of using a firearm in commission of the foregoing felonies. On February 4, 1998, the court sentenced Mr. Kasi to death. “Mr. Kasi has admitted to the crimes for which he was convicted and shown absolutely no remorse for his actions. After a thorough review of Mr. Kasi’s petition for clemency and the judicial opinions regarding this case, I have concluded that the death penalty is appropriate in this instance. I will not intervene.
Posted by: john   2005-12-10 12:15  

#7  Lady DSP and naked men

Well, if she gets fired, at least she has a possible career as a dominatrix - "mistress paki seeks kafir infidels for islamic punishments"

Posted by: john   2005-12-10 12:10  

#6  The Pak cricket team has been undergoing an islamist makeover. They now pray together, with frequent religious lectures. The only Christian member has converted to Islam.
Posted by: john   2005-12-10 12:06  

#5  They said that they did not like the five-star hotel in Lahore where they were staying, but loved to live in the mosque instead.

It really is Bizarro World over there, isn't it?
Posted by: UN High Commisioner For Five Star Lodging   2005-12-10 11:37  

#4  Manolo fetch the List!
Now write down Jackal.
Yes, with a J.
Posted by: Shipman   2005-12-10 11:14  

#3  "...this could not be a jinn because jinns did not do this trick"

Could it have been a Designer Jinn?
Posted by: Jackal   2005-12-10 09:38  

#2  Note the reference to $12,000,000,000 in the Paki terrorist entity's foreign exchange reserve. On Sept. 11, 2001, those terrorist animals had only one half billion in that account. The difference? Bush began to subsidize that piece of unflushed sewage posing as a country. With Waziris, Balochis, Sindhis, in open opposition to the Punjabi supremacists who more than any other entity, are responsible for exporting the 911 terror, Bush saved a terrorist government.

In exchange for occasional arrests of spent and useless al-Qaeda members, the subsidy continues. If Bush had given orders to flatten Kandahar, and Tora Bora, foreign trade with the terror entity would have dried up, and Pakistan would be in collapse. Instead, the Northwest Frontier Province government - whose parliament held a minutes silence in memory of their countryman who murdered 2 CIA agents - continues to use US subsidies - 12.8% of the provincial budget, to aid neo-Talibani terrorists.

Islamofascist hearts and minds are targets.
Posted by: CaziFarkus   2005-12-10 04:09  

#1  extracting confessions from men after making them naked

**Paging Human Rights Watch...White courtesy phone please**

Didn't we just recently convict.. oh, never mind. I just love the double standard.
Posted by: N guard   2005-12-10 00:57  

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