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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Letterman Lawyers Fight Restraining Order |
| 2005-12-21 |
| Great moments in American jurisprudence: 2005. SANTA FE, N.M. - Attorneys for television talk show host David Letterman want a judge to quash a restraining order granted to a Santa Fe woman who contends the celebrity used code words to show that he wanted to marry her and train her as his co-host. Back off, bitch. He told me he wants to give me all his money and be his co-host. A state judge granted a temporary restraining order to Colleen Nestler, who alleged in a request filed last Thursday that Letterman has forced her to go bankrupt and caused her "mental cruelty" and "sleep deprivation" since May 1994. Nice move, judgie. Nothing's gonna stand in the way of you splitting early for Christmas, is it? Nestler requested that Letterman, who tapes his show in New York, stay at least three yards away and not "think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering." Coming up next: Tin foil shortage in New Mexico. Right after this, from "Satan"... Attorneys for Letterman, in a motion filed Tuesday, contend the order is without merit and asked state District Judge Daniel Sanchez to quash it. "Celebrities deserve protection of their reputation and legal rights when the occasional fan becomes dangerous or deluded," Albuquerque attorney Pat Rogers wrote in the motion. ...or works for the ACLU. Nestler told The Associated Press by telephone Wednesday that she had no comment pending her request for a permanent restraining order "and I pray to God I get it." There goes that cohost job... Sanchez set a Jan. 12 hearing on the permanent order. I should be back from Hawaii by then... Letterman's longtime Los Angeles attorney, Jim Jackoway, said Nestler's claims were "obviously absurd and frivolous. This constitutes an unfortunate abuse of the judicial process," he said. Nestler's application for a restraining order was accompanied by a six-page typed letter in which she said Letterman used code words, gestures and "eye expressions" to convey his desires for her. She wrote that she began sending Letterman "thoughts of love" after his show began in 1993, and that he responded in code words and gestures, asking her to come East. No, no, hon. It was "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine". You need a new decoder ring. She said he asked her to be his wife during a televised "teaser" for his show by saying, "Marry me, Oprah." Her letter said Oprah was the first of many code names for her, and that the coded vocabulary increased and changed with time. He usually calls me "Paul Schaffer". Sometimes "Bill Murray". Depends on the secret message. Her letter does not say why she recently sought a restraining order. I could venture a guess, but...nah. Rogers' motion to quash the order contends the court lacks jurisdiction over Letterman, that Nestler never served him with restraining order papers and that she didn't meet other procedural requirements. If she's gotta serve the papers on you, Dave, you might be better keeping that restraining order in place. |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #8 Maybe this lady is possessed by the spirit of Margaret Ray or something..... |
| Posted by: Bomb-a-rama 2005-12-21 19:14 |
| #7 There's a good chance that the judge is Native American and highly superstitious Yep, the Green Corn Dance is early this year. |
| Posted by: Leon Clavin 2005-12-21 18:43 |
| #6 ... and not "think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering." So, the Thought Police are gonna be enforcing this order for her? |
| Posted by: Xbalanke 2005-12-21 18:42 |
| #5 There's a good chance that the judge is Native American and highly superstitious. Frequently, on the Res, judges are required to order a halt to some hoodoo or another. |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2005-12-21 18:03 |
| #4 What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 70? "Your Honor." |
| Posted by: Sgt. D.T. 2005-12-21 17:56 |
| #3 It reminds me of this joke: What do you call the guy who graduates last in his law school class? "Your honor" |
| Posted by: Desert Blondie 2005-12-21 16:29 |
| #2 Letterman's longtime Los Angeles attorney, Jim Jackoway, If I were Dave I'd be telling ole Jack to... getoway. New legal representation needed. |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2005-12-21 16:05 |
| #1 Goes to show you, No matter how much money you make, you still have to deal with crazy women. A very sad story. |
| Posted by: Penguin 2005-12-21 15:53 |