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| Going Native in America |
| 2006-01-19 |
| The Benefits of Becoming Indian AKA: Ward Churchill Syndrome Sweeps Nation. In the United States a growing number of white people are discovering their Native American roots. Some are doing so for financial gain, but most are just looking for the meaning of life. And the meaning of life is usually financial gain... A few weeks, Betty Baker was still just a white housewife. But now the woman, with her piercing blue eyes, goes by the name "Little Dove" --and has jettisoned her apron for an elaborate deerskin dress. I wonder if that turns on hubby? "I am an Indian and I've sensed this my whole life," says the 48-year-old Baker, who lives in a wooden house on the edge of the small town of Pinson, Alabama. Five years ago, after her parents told her that her family probably had some Native American ancestry, she assembled documents and birth certificates and last September was accepted into the Cherokee Tribe of northeast Alabama. The cultural neophyte is now zealously learning the rituals and dances of her newly discovered ancestors. Twenty Three...busted...no winner. Place your bets. But she certainly isn't alone. Little Dove is just one of thousands of people in the United States who are becoming Indians. The government's official grouping of "Native Americans" is an extremely fast growing minority: between 1960 and 2000 it grew by 640 percent. More than 4 million Americans now describe themselves as Native American, which cannot be explained by the birth rate alone. Much of the growth is due to people like Betty Baker changing their ethnicity. Changing you ethnicity? You can just do that? Can I be a Viking? Or a Mongol? Most of these new Indians have pale skin, some are even blond, and almost all were considered white before. Others point to high cheek bones, brown eyes and straight, glossy hair in their families as unmistakable signs of Indian ancestry. The self-described 'half bloods' may still live in their old homes, but their free time is now taken up by organizing powwows and walking around in costumes like those straight out of old Western movies. How! Where I park'em Mercedes? Financial benefits No! Really? Do tell... But the benefits of racial identity aren't the only ones Indian converts are after. The Indian identity has attracted some poor Americans for the access to university scholarships or free health insurance that comes with it. Potential income from casinos. Indian tribes are allowed to have gambling on their reservations, as long as the tribe is recognized by the US government. A loophole that was originally intended to help many Native Americans out of poverty and deprivation has developed into a huge business. The gambling income nationwide amounts to over $18 billion annually and much of it is distributed among the members of the tribes. Also increases your chance for employment and/or tenure at the University of Colorado. One of the biggest casinos in the world -- with 40,000 visitors a day -- is run by the Mashantucket Pequot near Norwich, Connecticut. Since gambling was established in 1986 the number of Indians living there has increased tenfold -- and each week there are new applications. According to Joyce Walker, the administrator of applications, "People say: I've just found out that I'm an Indian, and want to know how I can get my cash." Meanwhile the Mashantucket Pequot have made their entry requirements tougher and demand proof of blood ties. They and other tribes recognized by the state insist that they alone can decide who they accept and who they don't. Even those who turn up with DNA proof can be rejected. Go whine to Columbus, white eyes. It's all his fault. This doesn't seem to be putting off these "wannabe" Indians. If they are not accepted by the established tribes many simply found their own. While there are only three recognized Cherokee nations (two in Oklahoma and one in North Carolina), for example, there are now more than 240 tribes from Alaska to Mexico that have been attempting to gain government recognition for years. So far without success. I'll try for staus for the Hon-key tribe. We're fierce warriors. And accountants. A sense of belonging Circe Sturm of the University of Oklahoma believes these second-class Indians are often simply enjoying themselves. The anthropologist has interviewed more than 70 people who changed ethnic groups about their motivation. She doesn't believe that most of them are just after the money. Many are frustrated and are looking for some kind of meaning in their lives. "If being white is just an empty plate," she says, "then being Indian is a gourmet buffet." White people boring. Film at eleven. Many of the converts connect the indigenous existence with ideals such as equality between the sexes, more democracy and a romantic affinity with nature. The anthropologist found that two things were particularly attractive to the pale-faced Indians: the spiritual rituals and the idea of belonging to a group. An increasing number of Americans want to experience those pleasant feelings -- and that is causing some unrest amongst Indians. In order to escape an invasion of outsiders, even many of the newer tribes are trying to seal themselves off from further claimants. So instead of becoming hippies these days, I guess you become an Indian? Little Dove's husband Steve Baker is a mechanic and also feels like an Indian. He wears moccasins and a loin cloth, goes to the folklore meetings and wants to be accepted into his wife's tribe as "Running Bear." So it is a turn on... However, this isn't likely to happen anytime soon. The once so modest hobby tribe in northeast Alabama has swelled to 4,000 Cherokees and is now re-examining its integration policies. Until further notice, no new Indians will be accepted. Scram! Go to Vegas and open your own casinos, paleface! |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #17 Me? I'm 100% pure Central European immigrant. But Mr. Wife just learnt last month that one of the French Canadian g'g'g'-great-somethings actually married out about two centuries ago. So he has that single drop of Iroquois blood, too. Genetically speaking, the aboriginal peoples did pretty well in the way of decendents, considering that something like 90% died of various plagues between the time the first Europeans landed on the continent and the time they conquered those remaining. |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2006-01-19 22:01 |
| #16 I'm a native American. What? I was born in this country. How much more native can I get? Oh, yeah - I do also have a bit of aboriginal American in me courtesy of my maternal grandfather. ;-p |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2006-01-19 20:39 |
| #15 When they ask for my race, I always put down mutt. :) |
| Posted by: djohn66 2006-01-19 20:33 |
| #14 Bizaro Cochise 6 A fine name for a band. |
| Posted by: 6 2006-01-19 20:14 |
| #13 Crap like this is why I like putting down Human under race. People get all confused when they are talking about race and you ask them if they're aliens since their race isn't human. |
| Posted by: Silentbrick 2006-01-19 18:58 |
| #12 Turning Indian I think I'm turning Indian I really think so... |
| Posted by: BH 2006-01-19 18:55 |
| #11 Remember this when people start saying whites are a minority. Seems a little drop of ethnicity is all it takes to be non-white. We've nearly created the Bizarro world version of Aparthied. |
| Posted by: rjschwarz 2006-01-19 18:36 |
| #10 In the future, everybody will be an Injun for 15 minutes. |
| Posted by: mojo 2006-01-19 15:59 |
| #9 |
| Posted by: .com 2006-01-19 15:55 |
| #8 I'm a member of the Fakowee tribe. Whenever we go to a new place we introduce ourselves, "High, We're the Fakowee". People usually answer us with the name of the place we are at the moment. |
| Posted by: Deacon Blues 2006-01-19 15:30 |
| #7 "If being white is just an empty plate," she says, "then being Indian is a gourmet buffet." Yeah! God knows there's *NEVER* been a contribution to culture from the white man. Many of the converts connect the indigenous existence with ideals such as equality between the sexes A concept that the white man developed and introduced. Sorry, but there is NFW you can stretch the cultural practices from the Americas -- North, South, or Central -- into any shape resembling equality of the sexes. Looking at pre-Columbian (but late!) practices, I have to point at Cahokia's Mound 72: Primary mound 3 [part of mound 72] was constructed between the first two mounds and was built over a large burial pit containing over 53 young women ages 15 to 30 and four males with heads and hands removed. Modern testing of the 53 sacrificed women established they were not native to Cahokia; they were either tribute supplied from other regions, captives, or slaves purchased in trade. That's some real equality there... more democracy Bullshit. Utter bullshit. How democratic is a society in which a funeral of the absolute dictator's cousin involves the ritual murder of dozens of slaves and lower-caste tribesmen? Or in which the caste into which you're born -- and your role within society -- is fixed? and a romantic affinity with nature Again, bullshit. The Natives modified their environment to the best of their abilities, and the myth of the ecological Indian is as racist as blackface. Hint: maize isn't natural, and its ancestor grasses aren't native to North America, yet it was the primary staple of North American cultures at the time of Columbus. Other farmed plants were spread -- introduced despite being alien species -- and the fricking dog wasn't native to the Americas, either. There's archaeological evidence of over-farming, of deforestation, and other supposedly modern crimes against nature. The anthropologist found that two things were particularly attractive to the pale-faced Indians: the spiritual rituals and the idea of belonging to a group. In other words, New Age religion and a feeling of belonging, exacerbated by the modern practice of treating European heritage and American culture as diseases and the racist noble savage myth. I've got Cherokees in my family tree, too, and I'm certainly not ashamed of them. But I recognize where real progress -- technological and cultural -- has come from. |
| Posted by: Robert Crawford 2006-01-19 14:53 |
| #6 I think I'm going to become a "Native American" too. From now on, my Indian name will be: Sits On Ass And Types. Or you can just call me "Chief" if that's easier. |
| Posted by: Dar 2006-01-19 14:48 |
| #5 Who couldn't see this kind of garbage coming as a logical consequence of affirmative action? AA was a scam from its inception and has done nothing but become more biased with time. Damn the people who invented it and double damn those complete frigging idiots who continue it at the cost of Balkanizing this country. At the end of the day there will be a serious price to pay for having done this and it won't be silliness like this story. |
| Posted by: mac 2006-01-19 13:21 |
| #4 My sister married a man who's 1/2 Canadian Iriquois - though he doesn't advertise it or use it in any way. That makes their daughters 1/4 native - enough to legitimately claim membership, IIUC. Now that the girls are old enough to start looking at colleges (very competitive ones), they're wondering if they should claim their native heritage to get an edge. At least they wouldn't be lying, unlike a certain perfesser. |
| Posted by: Xbalanke 2006-01-19 12:38 |
| #3 Many are frustrated and are looking for some kind of meaning in their lives. "If being white is just an empty plate," she says, "then being Indian is a gourmet buffet." Personally I’ve always considered myself a steaming hot cup of coffee... with a considerable amount of cream in it. |
| Posted by: Secret Master 2006-01-19 12:37 |
| #2 Lol. The Cherokees' scam (adopting everything between 0° and 98.6°) continues to work beautifully. It's a numbers game. As for the silly romantic pretenders? Heh, I doubt they'd have lasted a day. Pathetic lot.  |
| Posted by: .com 2006-01-19 12:17 |
| #1 Cough, cough, Bullshit!, cough. |
| Posted by: bigjim-ky 2006-01-19 12:03 |