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Afghanistan
Mullah Omar Vows 'Unimaginable' Violence
2006-03-16
Peshawar, 16 March (AKI) - The fugitive leader of the hardline Taliban movement, Mullah Mohammed Omar, has vowed a fierce offensive against the US-led coalition forces in Afghanistan warning of "unimaginable attacks" to come in the summer months. The statement by the Taliban leader was read by Taliban spokesman, Mohammad Hanif over the telephone from an undisclosed location and was qouted in the Pakistani based Afghan Islamic Press news agency.
In the statement, Mullah Omar, for whose capture Washington has issued a 10 million-dollar-reward, said that young Afghans are volunteering for suicide missions against the US-led forces.

"Afghans [are] thronging centres of mujahadeen in groups to enlist their name for suicide attacks and other operations of Taliban resistance," the statement said. The Taliban leader also called on those who had not joined the "Taliban resistance....to consider this resistance against the crusader enemy as a part of their faith."

The statement also referred to the US president George W. Bush being "worried that the so-called elections and parliaments in Afghanistan and Iraq" did not trick Muslims around who are still aware that "Bush has been deceiving Muslims on hollow slogans of democracy, while on the other hand the US has been conspiring against the elected leadership of Hamas in Palestine." The statement also said: "The US and its alliesÂ’ attitude towards Iran is also against the claims of US of respecting democracy."

There are currently about 18,000 US troops in Afghanistan hunting down al-Qaeda and Taliban fighters but the Americans are hoping to reduce the number of troops by several thousand as NATO forces take on more responsibilities, particularly in the south of the country, and the Afghan army becomes stronger.
Posted by:Steve

#28  "unimaginable violence"

I don't know... I have a pretty vivid imagination....
Posted by: Mark E.   2006-03-16 19:26  

#27  Purple People Eater

Mulla Omar's Soul Mate
Posted by: BigEd   2006-03-16 17:09  

#26  Maybe he meant "inconceivable" violence.

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
Posted by: Anonymoose   2006-03-16 17:05  

#25  Hmm... it might look just like his mama's muff. Yo, Omar, could you stand on your head?
Posted by: eLarson   2006-03-16 16:49  

#24  Probably the worst thing you can say to an Arab Muslim (or maybe any Muslim) is that his beard or mustache looks like a woman's pubic hair. Preferably one of his female relatives.
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2006-03-16 16:21  

#23  Okay... here's one.

Mullah Omar... may your mustache grow to great lengths... and then strangle you in your sleep when you least expect it.
Posted by: eLarson   2006-03-16 16:10  

#22  No mustache curses?
Posted by: SR-71   2006-03-16 14:50  

#21  Now if he was to do something bad to my BBQ Pork Ribs, why then it would be War I say War...
Oh right it is... just he's not very good at it.
Posted by: 3dc   2006-03-16 14:33  

#20  Sheep will have pox?

What sheep?
Why should I care?
I am allergic to sheep anyway....
Posted by: 3dc   2006-03-16 14:31  

#19  ROFL, tu3031!
Posted by: Glert Thetch2165   2006-03-16 13:38  

#18  Desert Blondie:

And I expect they'll cast Natalie Portman as the love interest.
Posted by: Phil   2006-03-16 13:38  

#17  I don't think he means it because, in the picture, he's winking...
Posted by: tu3031   2006-03-16 13:36  

#16  What is Guy Pearce doing with all that facial hair? Is he starring in yet another cannibal movie?
Posted by: Zhang Fei   2006-03-16 13:34  

#15  "unimaginable" = translation, "Hell, I'm still working on the plan, m'kay? But when I finally DO think of what to do....believe you me, it's going to be soooo freakin' cool, man! There will be, like, explosions and death and all that bitchin' crap! Hey, do you think that Keanu will play me in the movie? That would be excellent!"
Posted by: Desert Blondie   2006-03-16 13:30  

#14  All in the name of SATAN. Heh.
Posted by: newc   2006-03-16 13:03  

#13  Translation: He can't imagine how he's going to pull it off.
Posted by: Iblis   2006-03-16 13:02  

#12  Unintelligible violence?

What else would you call all that uproar about the cartoons?
Posted by: Zenster   2006-03-16 11:51  

#11  Unintelligible violence?
Posted by: Chuck Simmins   2006-03-16 11:28  

#10  we know - we know ... the gates of hell will be unleashed, allah will punish, your sheep will be poxed, etc...
Posted by: macofromoc   2006-03-16 11:20  

#9  we know - we know ... the gates of hell will be unleashed, allah will punish, your sheep will be poxed, etc...
Posted by: macofromoc   2006-03-16 11:20  

#8  Bush is using hollow slogans.
Like 72 virgins to all martyrs of Allah ?

I think Afghanistan is the perfect place to develope our after dark drone hit squads. We know they are out there, now to seek and plink and establish an attrician rate one can be proud of.
Posted by: wxjames   2006-03-16 11:19  

#7  Mullah Omar Vows 'Unimaginable' Violence

correction:

Mullah Omar Vows 'Unimaginable stereoscopic' Violence
Posted by: RD   2006-03-16 11:19  

#6  "unimaginable"- Maybe he's going to draw cartoons, that's unimaginable to them.
Posted by: plainslow   2006-03-16 11:02  

#5  If "unimaginable violence" is what he wants, I say give it to him.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-03-16 10:52  

#4  "hairlip hairlip!"
Posted by: Frank G   2006-03-16 09:17  

#3  Mullah Omar steals Mahmoud the Mad's material. And who writes this stuff anyway - Mr. T?
Posted by: doc   2006-03-16 08:36  

#2  How about "unimpressive", "uninspired", "unforthcoming", and certainly "undistinguished".
Posted by: Anonymoose   2006-03-16 08:33  

#1  No, no, Omar. The word you wanted is "unimaginative".
Posted by: Robert Crawford   2006-03-16 07:44  

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