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Home Front: WoT
Detainee deaths not suicide: Taliban
2006-06-11
THREE Muslims said to have committed suicide in a Guantanamo Bay prison would not have violated Islam by taking their own lives and must have been killed by their US captors, the Taliban said today.

"We can't accept that they have committed suicide," a purported spokesman for the Islamist Taliban movement in Afghanistan, Mohammad Hanif, said. "No Muslim, no mujahid (holy warrior), can commit suicide. It's banned under Islamic Sharia law," said Hanif, who is often in contact with the media from a secret location.
You're right. They didn't commit suicide. They were so horny for their 72 raisins that they decided to commit self-jihad.
The Guantanamo Bay commander said the "war on terror" suspects - a Yemeni and two Saudis - were found dead in their cells yesterday and had hanged themselves with clothes and bed sheets.

Hanif said there a clear difference between committing suicide and carrying out suicide attacks against "infidels". "Those carrying out suicide attacks are targeting infidels," he said, distinguishing this from suicide just to "relieve oneself from suffering".

"The trio, three Arabs, the US says have committed suicide - it is not true. They've been killed by their captors," Hanif said. "A mujahid is committed to struggle to the last moment of his life."

There are some 460 prisoners at the military-run prison in Guantanamo, including about 100 Afghans. Many were captured in Afghanistan after a US-led coalition attacked in November 2001 to overthrow the Taliban regime for sheltering Al-Qaeda. The Afghan Government has been pushing for their freedom and a few dozen have already returned home.
They want to hang themselves in a Kabul prison, it's no skin off my fore.
Posted by:tipper

#11  It is apparent that the Gitmo Welcome & Asshat Triage Handbook is missing a very important Page One item:

Cake or Death?
Posted by: flyover   2006-06-11 19:59  

#10  Only three hung themselves? Well it's clear we need to send more rope down to gitmo.
Posted by: Cyber Sarge   2006-06-11 19:51  

#9  Yeah, couldn't have been suicide - they didn't have access to explosive vests.
Posted by: DMFD   2006-06-11 18:21  

#8  Should have faced a firing squad soon after initial interrogation. US Taxpaers could have saved a lot of dough on their room and board.
Posted by: Besoeker   2006-06-11 17:22  

#7  I wish I could give a rat's ass about they died.
Posted by: Slopinski   2006-06-11 17:19  

#6  How do they KNOW it wasn't suicide?! I know a dude who told me the pinata bat marks were self inflicted. So there!
Posted by: AlmostAnonymous5839   2006-06-11 16:20  

#5  In a 3 way triangle they choked to death then?
Cause there were no camels or goats available?
Posted by: 3dc   2006-06-11 12:26  

#4  Errr, I have to do something really important--like sit on the front porch and count out-of- state license plates in our dead-end neighborhood.
Posted by: Snump Ebbons4287   2006-06-11 09:27  

#3  no soup virgins for you!
Posted by: Frank G   2006-06-11 09:17  

#2  It's PR attack against infidels. That counts.

or just young, stupid and finally horrified at the errors of their way.
Posted by: Thinemp Whimble2412   2006-06-11 09:07  

#1  Sister Corporal Gloria crushed they tiny heds with the deadly Eye-beam.
Posted by: 6   2006-06-11 08:14  

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