Honest, we couldn't make this stuff up | SUFFOLK — A naked man clutching a pigeon was arrested over the weekend after beating the bird against a car. Two Whaleyville residents had just pulled into their driveway Friday night when Juan Lopez, 30, of Kellam Road in Virginia Beach came up and repeatedly pounded the pigeon on the car, police said. The people got out of the car and went to a neighbor’s house where they called the police. "Attention all cars, be on the lookout for a nude dude with a dead squab. That is all" | After a short chase, police caught Lopez in nearby woods. “I’m not sure whether he’s mentally disturbed or under the influence of narcotics, but he was obviously having some sort of issue that night,” said Lt. Debbie George, Suffolk Police Department spokeswoman. This is why Debbie gets the big bucks | Police discovered that Lopez had destroyed two of the homeowners’ bird cages, freeing 15 small chickens and four pigeons. He killed four birds, George said. Lopez was treated at Sentara Obici Hospital for cuts and scratches. He’s charged with burglary, destruction of property and assault with a dead wigeon larceny of poultry. |