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-Lurid Crime Tales-
beter to be halal then em terorrist
2006-07-27
WASHINGTON - Igbal Asghar reached across the counter at Super Halal Meat market and passed two butchered chickens to the man with the familiar face. Then he ducked into the walk-in freezer to fetch the customer's second order, goat meat.
Yummy! Goat meat! The very thought makes me want to...
When the butcher stepped out seconds later, the customer's severed left hand lay on the floor by the meat saw, Asghar said.
"'Scuse me, Mahmoud! Is that your hand?"
The customer ran down the Springfield store's center aisle and into the front parking lot, leaving a trail of blood and yelling repeatedly that he was "not a terrorist."
"I am not a terrorist! I am a nut! I'm a nut in pain... I'm a nut with significant blood loss... And shock... And no goat meat..."
Outside, another witness said, the man announced that he had used the meat saw to cut off his hand "for Allah."
Really. That sort of sentiment only seems to occur to people who bonk their heads on the floor five times a day, 365 days a year. I think it's accumulated minor traumas adding up to a major loss of coherence...
Rescue workers arrived minutes after the incident Saturday evening and took the man -- and his detached hand -- to Inova Fairfax Hospital. Fairfax County police declined to comment or release the man's name yesterday, saying no charges would be filed.
"Muldoon! See if there's any laws against slicing off your own hand with a meat saw!"
Those who saw the action unfold remained jarred.
"Oh, hold me, Mahmoud! I'm so jarred!"
Posted by:muck4doo

#10  Let's give a hand for Allah!
Posted by: Thoth   2006-07-27 23:40  

#9  When the butcher stepped out seconds later, the customer's severed left hand lay on the floor by the meat saw, Asghar said.

(shamelessy aping Tim Blair) - Cleanup in Aisle 3!
Posted by: Raj   2006-07-27 23:38  

#8  Really. That sort of sentiment only seems to occur to people who bonk their heads on the floor five times a day, 365 days a year. I think it's accumulated minor traumas adding up to a major loss of coherence...

And all this time they blamed Muhammed Ali's condition on all those boxing bouts.
Posted by: xbalanke   2006-07-27 21:45  

#7  I'd have voted for Gwynne
Posted by: 6   2006-07-27 17:32  

#6  Hand must have offended him. No one at Mike's American Grill gave a damn, all continued to dine and party. Just another "off hand" day in lovely Springfield.
Posted by: Besoeker   2006-07-27 17:05  

#5  Close. That's Fred Gwynne (aka Herman Munster).
Posted by: ed   2006-07-27 17:01  

#4  WTF? Is that cop on the right John Kerry?????
Posted by: Flinelet Angavitle5908   2006-07-27 16:28  

#3  Wonder if it's the hand that Gothmo stripper had?
Posted by: tu3031   2006-07-27 16:27  

#2  Time to buy a new saw.
Posted by: DoDo   2006-07-27 16:10  

#1  What did his left hand to offend him to such an extent? Was it cheat...never mind, I won't go there.
Posted by: BrerRabbit   2006-07-27 16:04  

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