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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| She Looked Like a Little Girl Who Had to Go Potty |
| 2006-09-06 |
| KATIE COURIC last night underwent her second on-air colonoscopy. Watching the procedure was not a horribly painful event. Nor was it an experience I would volunteer to repeat any time soon. For her very first night as CBS News diva, Katie spent a half-hour looking as if she desperately had to go potty. Her back was so stiff as she looked into the camera, pop-eyed and self-conscious, I feared it would snap. Her face was Botoxed beyond normal human endurance, proving that even pampered, overpaid news babes possess the courage to suffer for their art. And for the first time in history that a female was allowed to deliver a network's evening news alone, Katie chose to wear an unfortunate white blazer - the result, no doubt, of some jokester lying to her face when Katie asked, "Does this make me look fat?" And the day after Labor Day, to boot! For this they pay her a reported $15 million a year? The best that can be said about Katie Couric was that she did not trip over her 5-inch stiletto heels when she toddled across the floor of the set, crossing her bare legs like some ridiculous tramp. The worst that can be said about Katie is that she did not fall flat on her face - which would have provided a much-needed break in the tension. Western civilization did not exactly end last night as Katie took to the anchor chair. But the changing of the guard did represent another kind of cultural change. As of yesterday, network TV has proven it no longer feels the need to pretend that its nightly news broadcast is sober stuff, populated by earnest men and women with serious reporting backgrounds and working blow-dryers. It was not just Katie's legs. Or her clothes. Or her unnervingly high-pitched and overmodulated voice, more appropriate for a weather girl in Tampa than a national broadcaster. It was all these things together - and more. At the end of the show, Katie struggled with how she should sign off. She played clips of Walter Cronkite intoning, "That's the way it is." And Dan Rather ending his broadcast with "Courage." But then, she played Ted Knight as bumbling Ted Baxter in "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." And Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy in "Anchorman." It was supposed to be funny. Trouble is, those fake guys were better anchors than Katie was last night. |
| Posted by:mcsegeek1 |
| #9 ... looking as if she desperately had to go potty. "Go potty", don't most grown people give up that term by age five? Katie chose to wear an unfortunate white blazer ... And the day after Labor Day, to boot! Freudian faschionista. What a combination. There are three kinds of people in this world; Smart people talk about ideas. Ordinary people talk about sports. Stupid people talk about other people. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2006-09-06 23:46 |
| #8 Still can't beat the Fox news babes for sheer babeness. Ah...Laurie Dew...and I bet Laurie does... |
| Posted by: FOTSGreg 2006-09-06 23:34 |
| #7 crossing her bare legs like some ridiculous tramp. I guess someone doesn't watch those |
| Posted by: Phitch Ulavimp8613 2006-09-06 20:35 |
| #6 People still watch these lying bastards? |
| Posted by: Sock Puppet of Doom 2006-09-06 17:56 |
| #5 One thing Photoshop can't do is de-bitchify. |
| Posted by: BrerRabbit 2006-09-06 17:19 |
| #4 I wish I knew katie couric is, but I can't get even the slightest modicum of relative interest in froggie media "stars", so, US ones... Still, a wild guess : US tv anchorwiman. She's blonde, isn't she? |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2006-09-06 16:48 |
| #3 Damn. I missed her last night. Tune in again tomorrow when I say, "Damn. I missed her last night." |
| Posted by: tu3031 2006-09-06 16:35 |
| #2 crossing her bare legs like some ridiculous tramp. Sharon Stone? |
| Posted by: Nimble Spemble 2006-09-06 16:26 |
| #1 "She did her job to the best of her abilities". "She was at the top of her game". Comments on the above? I have to go take my popcorn off the stove (real stuff, not the "expanding foil" type). |
| Posted by: Mullah Richard 2006-09-06 16:23 |