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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| spray-on condom |
| 2006-12-01 |
| A German company plans to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes. The Institute for Condom Consultancy is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis first. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom. "We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," spokesman Jan Vinzenz Krause said. "We're very serious." Mr Krause says the product aims to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives. "It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said. "We call it the '360-degree procedure' - once round and from top to bottom. "It's a bit like a car wash." He says the plan is to make the product ready for use in about five seconds. Mr Krause says the spray-on condom would function more effectively as a contraceptive because it would fit better and not slip. But before the new condom can be sold in shops, the firm must ensure the latex is evenly spread when sprayed, as well as optimise the vulcanisation process. The company hopes the high-tech condom, which will be available in different strengths and colours, will be on the market by 2008. Mr Krause says the spray would probably cost about $30 as a one-off purchase. He says the latex cartridges, which are sufficient for up to 20 applications, would cost about $17. Mr Krause says he hit upon the idea when considering the difficulties some people faced using condoms and drew inspiration from spray-on plasters now used in medicine. |
| Posted by:Classer |
| #28 Can I use it on my tongue ? |
| Posted by: DragonFly 2006-12-01 22:16 |
| #27 Twenty six comments and not one person volunteering to be a field tester in Berlin. |
| Posted by: GK 2006-12-01 21:44 |
| #26 What if it hasn't fully dried? There was a young man from Japan Who used condoms sprayed on from a can In unforeseen haste Conjoining took place That wasnÂ’t according to plan |
| Posted by: Zenster 2006-12-01 21:01 |
| #25 Would any woman want a 'spray on' used? What if it hasn't fully dried? Somehow I dont think so. Ladies? |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2006-12-01 20:42 |
| #24 Well, if yah don't wanna have kids, just get a vasectomy for cryin' out loud. And in other news, I bet the latex spray really stinks, literally. Blech. And in other news after that, would anyone really want to use something that can irritate or plug the urethra? If it don't dissolve in water, that's what you've got. |
| Posted by: ex-lib 2006-12-01 18:31 |
| #23 And I just now found out that condoms are serialized...... |
| Posted by: USN, ret. 2006-12-01 17:11 |
| #22 If you're too stupid to know how to use a rubber, you deserve to go through this shit... |
| Posted by: tu3031 2006-12-01 17:03 |
| #21 Shrinkage? |
| Posted by: Chuger Hupeart7813 2006-12-01 17:02 |
| #20 Due to Bernoulli's law, most pressurized aerosol propellants exhibit pronounced endothermic properties upon release. While this might assist in congealing the latex veneer, the underlying *ahem* substrate is well-known for responding to cold conditions in a distinctly unwelcome fashion. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2006-12-01 17:00 |
| #19 That would stunt sales... |
| Posted by: .com 2006-12-01 15:51 |
| #18 Ya think this thing is warranteed for 40,000 miles? Lemme get out the calculator. . . Damn. Not.Even.Close. :( |
| Posted by: GORT 2006-12-01 15:46 |
| #17 USN - you left out the retreads. |
| Posted by: Anguper Hupomosing9418 2006-12-01 15:42 |
| #16 This isn't a prophylactic; it's a replacement. |
| Posted by: Excalibur 2006-12-01 15:41 |
| #15 Hey GORT: what with the bad weather going on all over the country, shouldn't there be something in here about putting on studs and all? This would remedy .com's problem about lack of ribbing.. I think the Goodyear people are working on a redesign of the Blimp... Pardon the NASCAR metaphor, but if you are going to race at more than one track, I hope these guys have different compunds available for the different conditions encountered (big difference between Talledage and Bristol.....) and think of the spin off business opportunities: for that annoying slow leak: the SLIME people could even get involved. and Viagra would be in competition with the Fix-a-Flat folks... you've been a great crowd. no, really.... |
| Posted by: USN, ret. 2006-12-01 14:32 |
| #14 spray-on condom have yee heard about the Joint Venture with Pfizer Inc? yep new product called Spray On Hard On, it comes with or without Wrapper! makes Viagra and Condoms obsolete! /invest |
| Posted by: RD 2006-12-01 14:23 |
| #13 There's a joke in here about a "blowout" but I think I have to tread lightly. Thanks for the warm-up USN - we'll be here all week! |
| Posted by: GORT 2006-12-01 14:14 |
| #12 1)I have a visual of this process being licensed. I would not want to buy the device from Firestone, lest i suffer from ply separation at an inopportune moment..... 2) And the michelin man grphic would need a re-do. 3) Is that a 205-R14 in your pocket or are you glad to see me? /goes and stands in a corner |
| Posted by: USN, ret. 2006-12-01 13:59 |
| #11 Gonna call it "Dinkity-Do". |
| Posted by: Shuns Uleating3851 2006-12-01 13:56 |
| #10 Um--wouldn't this also trap pubic hairs as well? Might as well use duct tape! |
| Posted by: Dar 2006-12-01 12:23 |
| #9 LOL Bif! |
| Posted by: Shipman 2006-12-01 11:37 |
| #8 Sam Kinison had a joke about this, obviously years ago. |
| Posted by: Penguin 2006-12-01 11:07 |
| #7 Option for removal. Soak in acetone for three hours. Course it does cause shriveling. |
| Posted by: SpecOp35 2006-12-01 11:04 |
| #6 Isn't vulcanization accomplished by application of extreme heat and pressure? Yes, that is my understanding. Just WHAT does this devilish device does to your naughty bits? Is it permanent? Is there any kind of plastic surgery available to try and salvage the remains? I'm not even sure I want to know. |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2006-12-01 10:53 |
| #5 There's nothing like pulling out your portable car wash-like device when that magic moment arrives to add a romantic touch to the occasion. Her: What's in that steamer trunk you're lugging around? Him: I'll show you, watch this. Her: Eeeeeekk! Get away from me you freak! Him: Don't run away, it'll be dry in just 20 minutes! |
| Posted by: Biff Wellington 2006-12-01 10:48 |
| #4 ... as well as optimise the vulcanisation process. Isn't vulcanization accomplished by application of extreme heat and pressure? If that's so, the user of said product may have no need to get back to his partner after applying the product. |
| Posted by: GORT 2006-12-01 10:41 |
| #3 No reservoir tip, no ribbing, no sale, lol. |
| Posted by: .com 2006-12-01 10:23 |
| #2 Do you have to vulcanize afterward? Sounds painful. "It's a bit like a car wash." Right. Next time I go to a carwash, I'll unzip and... |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2006-12-01 10:20 |
| #1 The condom's removal tool. |
| Posted by: ed 2006-12-01 09:39 |
