TAMBARAM/CHENNAI: Residents of a house in the southern suburb Peerkankaranai near Tambaram had the shock of their life when a young crocodile strayed into their home early on Monday. The noise made by the 4-foot long reptile woke them up. "Wot? Wot? Who's there?"
It was later caught by Wildlife personnel and released into Vandalur Zoological Park.
"AND STAY OUT!"
"... We were shocked by its sight," said Mumtaj.
"Uhhh... Honey? Do we own a crocodile?"
Her husband Abdul Salam, a Transport department employee residing on Professor Street in Peerkankaranai, said he had opened the door at 2.15 a.m. Barely had he taken a few steps, when he was confronted by the reptile.
"Salam! Look out! He's got a knife!"
"Hrarrr! Wot's this? A human? Looks mighty tasty!"
They called the police control room,
"Hello? Police control room?"
which alerted the Peerkankaranai police station.
"Calling all cars! Be on the lookout for a crocodile! That is all!"
"Car 54 to Police Control! That's it? Can you describe the crocodile?"
Even as a police team arrived, neighbours crowded around Mr. Salam's house.
"Damn! Lookit dat, Mukkerjee!"
"It's 2.15 a.m.! Why aren't you people at home in bed?"
The crocodile had, by then, entered the bathroom.
"Oh, man! Thought I wasn't gonna make it! I don't think that cow agreed with me!"
Police personnel prevented curious onlookers from getting too close to the animal.
"Egad! The croc's sitting on Salam's throne!... He's grunting!"
[SPLASH!]
"Oh my GAWD! For the good of your soul, don't inhale, Patel!"
Forest department personnel, alerted by the police, arrived around 5 a.m.
Thereby giving the creature time to scare the hell out of the Salams, eat their cow, stop up their toilet, smoke all Salam's cigars, and then root through their underwear drawer.
Residents of Peerkankaranai said this was not their first close encounter with the reptile.
"Dat's not quite right. Y'can't call my client a 'repeat offender.' Each of his offenses has been different."
P.L.Ananthasamy, Chief Conservator of Forests and Zoo Director, said it was a wild crocodile.
"Yep. He's a wild one, all right."
There were quite a few water bodies in and around Vandalur and it could have strayed from one of them. None of the crocodiles housed in the Park had strayed into the residential area and there was no need to panic.
Right. There's a crocodile in your bathroom, smoking your cigars, but there's no need to panic.