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| Ban sworn in as U.N. secretary-general |
| 2006-12-14 |
| Kofi...screw! UNITED NATIONS - South Korea's Ban Ki-moon was sworn in Thursday as the eighth secretary-general of the United Nations, promising to make his top priority the restoration of trust in the world body that has been tarnished by corruption scandals. Oh, throw enough of somebody else's money at it, and tarnish wipes right off. It make take years and years though... Ban, 62, will take the reins of the United Nations on Jan. 1 when Kofi Annan steps down after 10 years at the helm. He will be the first Asian to lead the organization in 35 years. Ban will oversee an organization with some 92,000 peacekeepers around the world and a $5 billion annual budget. Its reputation has been battered by scandals in the oil-for-food program in Iraq and in peacekeeping procurement, and its outdated practices need reform to meet the challenges of the 21st century. Other then that, it does a fine job. General Assembly President Sheikha Haya Rashed Al Khalifa administered the oath of office to the career diplomat who served as South Korea's foreign minister. Ban swore to conduct himself solely in the interests of the United Nations and to refuse to accept instructions from any government or other authority. I will never go against the family... In a brief address, Ban told delegates from the 192 U.N. member states that he was "deeply mindful" of key words in the oath — "loyalty, discretion and conscience" — which he said "will be my watchwords as I carry out my duties as secretary-general." He pledged "to set the highest ethical standard" and "work to enhance morale, professionalism and accountability among staff members, which in turn will help us serve member states better, and restore trust in the organization." Hey! I can hear you! Stop that snickering! I'm serious! Really! I am! "The good name of the United Nations is one of its most valuable assets — but also one of its most vulnerable," Ban said. Which is good, as it keeps the price up... He promised to strengthen the three pillars of the United Nations — security development and human rights — in order to build "a more peaceful, more prosperous and more just world for succeeding generations." I think they missed a comma in there. Here's a couple of million. Go out and buy the UN a comma... "As we pursue our collective endeavor to reach that goal, my first priority will be to restore trust," Ban said. "I will seek to act as a harmonizer and bridge-builder." He said one of his "core tasks will be to breathe new life and inject renewed confidence into the sometimes weary Secretariat." Weary? I thought he was dead? "The member states need a Secretariat that is dynamic and courageous, and not a Secretariat that is passive and timid," he said. Zzzzzzzing!!! Ban also paid warm tribute to Annan, saying "it is an honor to follow in your revered footsteps." ...your teeny, tiny little revered footsteps. "Your tenure has been marked by high ideals, noble aspirations, and bold initiatives," he said. Like...ummmmmmmm...ummmmmmmmmm...ummmmmmmmm...anybody? Okay, moving right along... "Your courage and vision have inspired the world. ... You have given the United Nations new relevance to the people's lives." Thanks, dad! Before the ceremony, diplomats also paid tribute to Annan and approved a resolution lauding his "many bold initiatives" to reduce poverty, promote peace and security, protect the environment and launch the reform process. They rose and gave him a sustained standing ovation. Sounds as sincere as a Shriner's Club roast... In his farewell speech, Annan said that "despite many difficulties and some setbacks, in the past decade we have achieved much that I am proud of." At a time of sweeping change, he said, the U.N. reoriented and remolded itself, "became more transparent, accountable and responsive ... (and) began to better address the needs of individuals worldwide." Kojo, Benon Sevon, me, lots of people you'll never hear of... The United Nations and its member also accepted that development, security and human rights "must go hand in hand," he said."I depart convinced that today's U.N. does more than ever before, and does it better than ever before. Yet our work is far from complete — indeed, it never will be," Annan said. So open up those checkbooks... He told the General Assembly, which appointed Ban in October, that "you have chosen well. Our organization will be in safe hands." I wonder if they made Ban Man hold burning pictures of saints, or draw some blood from a finger? Then, looking at Ban, he said the new secretary-general already had a distinguished career in international diplomacy."But I can safely tell you that your most rewarding years lie just ahead," Annan said. "I wish you both the strength and the courage to make the most of them." It is a greater Gravy Train then you have ever imagined... |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #4 I am one of the fortunate few Rantburgers that did not want to vomit after reading this little ditty. As a trained and experienced sanitation engineer, dealing often with systems that handle large amounts of fecal matter, I do not heave, when confronted with piles of sh*t, like that seen at the UN. These UN guyz really believe their own sh*t. The sooner we get these leeches out of this country, the better we and the rest of the world will be. No disrespect meant for leaches. Now I will go and wash my hands. Pfeh. |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2006-12-14 21:00 |
| #3 How do these pogues do it without collapsing in a fit of hysterical laughter? "General Assembly President Sheikha Haya Rashed Al Khalifa administered the oath of office" Oh. Right. Smile, or it's hasan-chop. |
| Posted by: exJAG 2006-12-14 16:59 |
| #2 Can anyone give me a good reason why we haven't thrown this lot of thieves and whores out of our country yet? |
| Posted by: mac 2006-12-14 16:54 |
| #1 I bet he didn't swear in on a pig skin covered quran. |
| Posted by: Icerigger 2006-12-14 15:55 |