Man accused of being nude on ski lift "Margaret! Don't look up!"
BRATTLEBORO, Vt. - Blame global warming. An Albany, N.Y., man is accused of riding nude in a gondola at Stratton Mountain Resort on Dec. 15. William N. Barrett III, 46, pleaded not guilty to felony lewd and lascivious conduct and misdemeanor marijuana possession Tuesday in Vermont District Court.
"And where'd the accused have his marahootchie, officer?"
"Well, yer honor, it wudn't in his pocket!"
A witness reported to lift attendants that Barrett was nude and touching himself inappropriately while riding the lift.
Of all the locations I have contemplated masturbating, 'ski lift' is not high on the list.
Barrett, who was fully clothed when he reached the bottom of the hill, denied being nude.
"Wudn't me."
He told police he had taken off his jacket and shirt because of the nice weather.
When *I* eat a York Peppermint Pattie, I feel like a cool mountain breeze is washing over my nude body as I touch myself in a ski-lift.
He also was charged with marijuana possession. Police found a glass pipe and film canister containing marijuana in his pocket when they arrested him, authorities said.
Taste the sensation...