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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Anna Nicole Smith Murdered?
2007-02-15
"Legume! My cape and my saxophone! The game's afoot!"
In the weeks before her tragic death, Anna Nicole Smith was taking so many drugs that she feared her lawyer Howard K. Stern was trying to kill her!

Sources spilling to the ENQUIRER reveal at least two suicide attempts, regular cocaine use, frequent collapses, and episodes of vomiting and bed soiling following the death of her son Daniel. Obsessed with her weight, she ate little solid food - and, worse, carried the obsession over to her 5-month-old daughter Dannielynn, ordering staff at her Bahamas mansion to underfeed the baby so she'd grow up "slim and sexy," charge sources. Dannielynn's nanny has filed a document accusing her former boss of requiring her to starve the baby and having sexcapades with the Bahamian Minister of Immigration.
That's it. I don't want to know any more.
The nanny, Quethlie Alexis, swore in an affidavit that she was repeatedly threatened by Anna (aka Vickie Marshall) to "underfeed" Dannielynn because, "Ms. Marshall was obsessed with making sure that her baby was 'sexy.' Ms. Marshall knew that the correct amount of baby food was 3 ounces every 3 hours ... Ms. Marshall insisted that the maximum I was to give was 2.5 ounces." Alexis explained that Anna Nicole threatened to "shoot her" if Dannielynn ever called the nanny "Mummy" and made sure she underfed the baby by "making sure the baby monitor was kept on all the time." She explains that as a result, Dannielynn "is badly underweight and not thriving, as a baby should."
Posted by:Fred

#21  Keith Ellison is now claiming to be the father. He insists the crabs he has were from Smith and not some goat he named "Aysha" near the Kaaba.
Posted by: Icerigger   2007-02-15 18:45  

#20  Every time I read more about this story, and I admit it's hard not to, I feel like I need to take a hot shower with strong soap and a scrub-brush. The entire cast is beyond grotesque.
Posted by: Sgt. D.T.   2007-02-15 18:24  

#19  If I never hear her name again, it'll still be too soon.
Posted by: Mark E.   2007-02-15 17:50  

#18  If you exclude the billionaire, and it's a big exclusion, she could've stayed in the trailer park and had a very similiar life to the one she lived. And died in almost the exact same way.
Except she wouldn't have had the chance to inflict it all on us.
Posted by: tu3031   2007-02-15 16:56  

#17  AUUUUGH! GO AWAY!
Posted by: mojo   2007-02-15 13:57  

#16  Disgusting woman, disgusting people around her. Karma.
Posted by: Angenter Crolugum3645   2007-02-15 12:17  

#15  This sounds like a soap opera.
Posted by: KBK   2007-02-15 11:46  

#14  The Church of the SubGenius has already declared her to be a saint. Her Holy Day is May 1st, and her sacraments are Cristal champagne (The best $350 bottle of champagne you can buy at a truck stop), and pink Hostess Sno Balls.

It's probably not a good idea to ask how her May Day holiday is celebrated. But I bet it's gross.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2007-02-15 11:43  

#13  Just realized that last line might sound really cold. I don't wish death on her, I just wish the circus surrounding her death could have been avoided if she knew she was going away.
Posted by: rjschwarz   2007-02-15 11:41  

#12  Interesting that she was worried he was trying to kill her yet tried to commit suicide at the same time.

To bad she didn't manate the DNA lottery first, suicide second.
Posted by: rjschwarz   2007-02-15 11:40  

#11  Is it just me, or is the possibility of Howard Marshall being the daddy out of line with nature, just by timeline standards?

The sister of Anna Nicole claims that she might have had the old man's sperm frozen.
Posted by: john   2007-02-15 10:42  

#10  From the anecdotes I've read she was, while not particularly bright and way too brassy, actually a rather nice person, especially by Hollywood standards.

If she was just not particularly bright then she was a genius by Hollywood standards.
Posted by: JFM   2007-02-15 10:25  

#9  Hey? Remember me?
Good...
Posted by: Astronaut Lisa Nowak   2007-02-15 09:58  

#8  Is it just me, or is the possibility of Howard Marshall being the daddy out of line with nature, just by timeline standards? I thought he died way back in 2001 or so. Add 14 months (9 month preggies and 5 month old baby) and I don't think Mr. Marshall was "in da sack" with Anna.
Posted by: BA   2007-02-15 09:32  

#7  From the anecdotes I've read she was, while not particularly bright and way too brassy, actually a rather nice person, especially by Hollywood standards.

She didn't pretend to not know people. She treated her staff and entourage decently. She didn't trash other hollywood people.

Posted by: mhw   2007-02-15 09:10  

#6  FTLG?
Posted by: trailing wife   2007-02-15 08:16  

#5  I blame NASA! Knocked the crazed astronaut story out.
Posted by: bruce   2007-02-15 07:40  

#4  poor Dannielynn .

As for the mother , meet the /carepolice
Posted by: MacNails   2007-02-15 04:39  

#3  FTLG - 'nuff said.
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2007-02-15 01:03  

#2  I blame Bush.
Posted by: gorb   2007-02-15 00:42  

#1  Over on Democratic Underground, they'll be blaming Karl Rove any second now.
Posted by: Mike   2007-02-15 00:25  

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