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Iraq
Insurgents battling al-Qaida outside Baghdad
2007-04-22
We knew this already but apparently it's news to the AP and in Seattle.
MUQDADIYAH, Iraq — At least two major insurgent groups are battling al-Qaida in provinces outside Baghdad, American military commanders said Friday, an indication of a deepening rift between Sunni guerrilla groups in Iraq.

The clashes have erupted over the last two to three months, pitting al-Qaida in Iraq against the nationalist 1920 Revolution Brigades in Diyala and Salahuddin provinces north of Baghdad as well as Anbar to the west, U.S. officers said. In Diyala, another hard-line militant Sunni group, the Ansar al-Sunna Army, is also fighting al-Qaida, they said. "It's happening daily," Lt. Col. Keith Gogas said Thursday in an interview at an Army base in Muqdadiyah, 60 miles northeast of Baghdad. "Our read on it is that the more moderate, if you will, Sunni insurgents are finding that their goals and al-Qaida's goals are at odds."

American commanders cite al-Qaida's severe brand of Islam, which is so extreme that in Baqouba, al-Qaida has warned street vendors not to place tomatoes beside cucumbers because the vegetables are different genders, Col. David Sutherland said.
"Oh Mahmoud! The tomatoes are severely arousing me! I'm so helpless! I must .. go shoot off .. my gun! Yes, my gun!"
"To hell with the tomatoes, Achmed, let me at the cucumbers!"
Such radicalism has fueled sectarian violence in Iraq and redrawn the demographics of many mixed Sunni-Shiite towns in Diyala, where tens of thousands of Shiites have been forced to flee large population centers. Previously 55 percent Sunni, 45 percent Shiite, Baqouba — where rival insurgents also have clashed — is today 80 percent Sunni and 20 percent Shiite, Sutherland said.

The rift among insurgents has also been sparked by reports that some militants have been negotiating with the government and U.S. officials, who are trying to draw Sunni groups away from al-Qaida. Iraqi police and security forces — not Americans — have been negotiating with 1920 Revolution Brigades fighters, who have said "they want some help against al-Qaida," said U.S. Maj. David Baker on Friday in Baqouba.
Posted by:Steve White

#23  Not to worry, tw. As always, but especially so in your case, it's the thought that counts.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-04-22 23:37  

#22  Now I'm embarrassed. Thanks for catching that spelling error, Zenster dear.
Posted by: trailing wife   2007-04-22 23:32  

#21  (pistols to receive the fertilizing pollen grains)

Proper Islamic methods dictate about 750 "pollen" grains to load those pistils pistols.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-04-22 23:25  

#20  Fruits and nuts are seduction tools -- as are insect-pollinated flowers at the previous stage -- to get animals to widen the distribution of the seeds. Some trees, as with some herbaceous plants and some woody shrubs, carry male and female flowers on separate plants. Most plants, however, have both male parts (stamens bearing pollen) and female parts (pistols to receive the fertilizing pollen grains) in the same flower.
Posted by: trailing wife   2007-04-22 22:18  

#19  Ummm, both Tomatoes and Cucumbers contain seeds, therefore they're both Female, (Maybe some percieved lesbo action here)

Nahhh, they're just Crazy.
Posted by: Redneck Jim   2007-04-22 18:05  

#18  Well, cucumbers come from female blossoms of the cucumber plant, as any fruit does. The cucumber plant produces male blossoms at the beginning of the growing season, and female blossoms later.

Carrots are root vegetables; the division between female and male doesn't apply to them.

It's not as though there's any science in what al-Qaida is thinking, however. Should we send them a catalogue from a Georgia O'Keefe exhibition?
Posted by: Eric Jablow   2007-04-22 17:02  

#17  I expect to see Iraqi Pie with a major scene of the AQ guy encounter a mixed salad and...
Posted by: Jackal   2007-04-22 16:41  

#16  I see Elwood's working as an exterminator again.
Trees that produce seeds are considered female, why not fruit ?
Posted by: wxjames   2007-04-22 13:27  

#15  And it's all the tomatoes fault for being on display uncovered.
Posted by: Redneck Jim   2007-04-22 10:26  

#14  It's ugly when fruits go bad. I've seen it with my own eyes in the bottom of the fridge.
Posted by: Shipman   2007-04-22 10:24  

#13  5% of cucumbers will attempt to rape uncovered tomatoes.
Posted by: Excalibur   2007-04-22 08:46  

#12  
Fruits and Vegetables living together - mass hysteria.
Posted by: doc   2007-04-22 07:49  

#11  But if cucumbers have seeds, then they must be male, right? Cuz females have eggs.

Not surprising a cucumber is a male fruit, like a carrot is a male vegetable, no doubt.
Posted by: Bobby   2007-04-22 07:23  

#10  Um, cucumbers contain seeds, which grow into new cucumber plants. By definition, that makes them fruit, even though they're not noticeably sweet. ;)
Posted by: Brian H   2007-04-22 03:47  

#9  Apostate, are you a one-time Muslim who has rejected Islam out of frustration or dissatisfaction with its lack of reformation?

This board is in desperate need of testimony by Muslims who have sought Islamic reform and are less than pleased with the results.

Courageous reformists like Dr. Jasser are Islam's last and only hope. I look forward to your own commentary about people like him. Islam's continued existence hinges upon the efforts of brave individuals like him.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-04-22 03:32  

#8  Islam seems fatally infected with a "more Islamic than thou" strain of overcompensation.

Dead right, Zenster. The same mentality affects the Shias, who think they are better muslims because they venerate (i.e. practically worship) the prophet's family.

Posted by: Apostate   2007-04-22 02:45  

#7  Bless you boiys. Report back when you fixed it. We got many projects.
Posted by: newc   2007-04-22 01:48  

#6  anymouse, thanks, I really appreciate your assurance. ;-)
Posted by: twobyfour   2007-04-22 01:35  

#5  AQ is warped beyod hope.
Posted by: anymouse   2007-04-22 01:29  

#4  al-Qaida has warned street vendors not to place tomatoes beside cucumbers because the vegetables are different genders

And it is this sort of picayune bullshit that will eventually make al Qaeda a reviled bunch of puritanical bullies. Osama bin Laden deemed ice to be too hedonistic. ICE fer cripes sake! In a desert environment, no less! No music, no kites, no dancing, no fun at all. How the fuck do these pious morons think that their sterile and morose brand of worship is ever going to catch on?

Islam seems fatally infected with a "more Islamic than thou" strain of overcompensation. With the Muslim propensity for violence and mayhem, it amounts to a contest to see who is "more readily martyred suicidal than thou". Saddest of all is that these stupid fucks cannot possibly kill each other off fast enough before some loon amongst them gets hold of a nuclear bomb. Otherwise, the West could merely sit back and enjoy the show. Instead, we're obliged to wade into this imbecilic cesspool of violent fanaticism.

With little or no pretense made by Islam regarding reform, they mandate their own extermination. This should be clear as daylight to all Muslims but, save for a very minuscule few, they abjectly refuse to recognize the danger confronting them. How pathetic. How fatal.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-04-22 00:53  

#3  I can see it as an issue for melons and cucumbers, but tomatoes? Come on!
Posted by: Penguin   2007-04-22 00:43  

#2  Cucumbers are a vegetable,
Tomatos are a fruit.
Who really cares about fruit / vegetable gender? Well, other than these losers.....
Posted by: USN, ret.   2007-04-22 00:34  

#1  "It's happening daily," Lt. Col. Keith Gogas said Thursday in an interview at an Army base in Muqdadiyah, 60 miles northeast of Baghdad. "Our read on it is that the more moderate, if you will, Sunni insurgents are finding that their goals and al-Qaida's goals are at odds."

Luvs these bed-timey stories.

American commanders cite al-Qaida's severe brand of Islam, which is so extreme that in Baqouba, al-Qaida has warned street vendors not to place tomatoes beside cucumbers because the vegetables are of different genders, Col. David Sutherland said.

OK test time RBees:

True or False

Tomatoes are female?

Cucumbumbers are Male?
Posted by: RD   2007-04-22 00:18  

00:00