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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Top Priorities of Acting President CheneyÂ’s First 100 Minutes |
| 2007-07-20 |
| While Bush undergoes a routine colonoscopy Saturday, he will transfer presidential powers to Dick Cheney. Here's a list of President Cheney's promises to the American people for his first 100 minutes. Minute 1: Nuke Baghdad (I think they meant Tehran) Minute 15: Eliminate the Department of Homeland Security and replace it with Jack Bauer Minute 36: Tea with Karl Rove Minute 51: Nuke North Korea Minute 65: By executive order, allot Wyoming 3 more senators… and a baseball team Minute 73: Send Joe and Valerie Wilson to Guantanamo Minute 81: Change into Darth Vadar costume and conspire with the Prince of Darkness Minute 90: Actually pardon Scooter Libby, because the last president wasn’t cowboy enough to do it right the first time Minute 93: “Respectfully but resolutely” assert importance of Halliburton Minute 100: Hold press conference confirming the beliefs of Arianna Huffington and Kossacks nationwide that he is, in fact, evil |
| Posted by:Sherry |
| #1 Minute 5: Bitch-slap Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Chuck Schlagel, and whichever other member of the House or Senate he can reach be fore he has to sign the order eliminating the DHS. Minute 20: Order silo doors opened on all nuclear weapons silo's in North Dakota just to give the Russians something to really worry about. Minute 55: Sign Executive Order eliminating barriers to drilling in ANWR, off any US coastline, and to the construction of any new US nuclear power generating facility anywhere. Minute 60: Sign Executive Order eliminating Department of Education. Minute 61: Nuke Tora Bora region of Afghanistan and NWRP area of Pakistan. Minute: 62: Sign Executive Order ordering the immediate arrest and incarceration of any person or persons divulging national security secrets in any form particularly via the NY Times or any other method, retroactively to the start of the Bush Administration. |
| Posted by: FOTSGreg 2007-07-20 18:12 |