#2 “Self-claimed mujahideen with their version of jihad are only distracting Muslims,”
WARNING: WE RECOMMEND ONLY GENUINE JIHAD. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES.
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Use caution when booming a car or bus. Possible penalties for early detonation. Loss of virgins may apply. Jihad valid only at Jew and Infidel sites. Slightly higher west of the Green Zone. Allow four to six seconds for detonation. Must be 5 to boom or marry. Jihads are closer than they appear. Jihad does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, sewage tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of Allah. Neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect indoctrination, unauthorized Koran reading, broken minaret or marred prayer rug, missing or altered serial numbers on weapons, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane hijack, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle exploding, dropping the Koran, falling mosques, leaky sewage ponds, broken greenhouses, rooftop swan dives, automatic weapons fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Other shari’a laws may apply. Jihad ends in case of nuclear holocaust. Jihad measured by death toll only. Contact your local mosque for details. Explosives may settle in transit. May cause random outbursts of extreme violence, epileptic seizures, or whatever. Actual jihad may differ from explanation in sermon. |
Saudi Arabia’s Grand Mufti Sheikh Abdulaziz Al-Shaikh has urged the Muslim youth to be aware of elements that were launching “fake jihad”. In an interview, he said that there were large numbers of such elements, which were giving lessons of fake jihad to the youth and misguiding the common man. “Self-claimed mujahideen with their version of jihad are only distracting Muslims,” he said. Sheikh Abdul Aziz said that jihad, in present time, was to shun evil and follow the teachings of Islam. He said it was ironic that Muslims had divided into sects, and that each sect considered itself to be on the correct path and declared the other non-Muslim. He advised young men not to follow such teachings and consult authentic religious scholars for proper guidance. Sheikh Abdulaziz Al-Shaikh graduated from Imaam ad-Dawah Institute from the Faculty of Sharia in 1962.