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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Britney accused of 'dental abuse'
2007-08-29
Britney Spears is being investigated for "dental abuse" of her two sons.
Ohfergawdsake.
The allegation is just the latest that she has "appalling" parenting skills.
She's a dishpit. Why should her parenting skills be any greater than any of her other social skills?
Now it can be revealed that the charges are based on a claim that she is not taking steps to ensure her children receive the best possible dental care.
Not... cavities? Tell us they don't have cavities! Oh, that would be too much to bear!
The complaint, lodged with Department of Children and Family Services, alleges poor dental hygiene, as well as poor eating and sleeping habits for Sean Preston, two next month, and 11-month old Jayden James.
"Sean Preston definitely has moss growing on his fangs. Both of Jayden James' teeth are green."
Britney, 26, is currently battling ex-husband Kevin Federline for custody.
He's a non-entity, but he brushes after every meal.
But does he floss?
The allegations are contained in legal papers filed yesterday by Federline's attorney, suggesting it might have been K-Fed who lodged the complaint. It was reported in the US that Brit gives her sons bottles of fizzy drinks and lets them snack on sugary food.
Oh, the humanity!
In February last year, the DCFS interrogated Britney after the notorious car seat incident with Sean Preston. And in April 2006 they spoke to her after he fell out of a high chair, but no action was taken.
Tusk. Tusk. Sitting in a high chair without a seatbelt! What is the world coming to?
It was also reported K-Fed's people tried to serve papers to a Britney insider yesterday when the man freaked out, dove into the lawyer's car and sped off.
"Beemer, don't fail me now!"
Police were called to investigate the hit-and-run.
What hit and run? Tell us he didn't run over the lawyer with his own Beemer?
And Spears's ex-manager, Larry Rudolph, is in hiding because he doesn't want to testify against Britney. He is afraid it could hurt her custody chances.
He keeps obsessively brushing his teeth.
Posted by:Fred

#13  Of course, I hate to bring this up, but most kids don't get all their teeth until about 2 years old, and those are temps anyway. Also, the ADA "recommends" that kids younger than 2 not even go to the dentist, as the treatments may cause more harm than good.

But, I also grew up just a few years ago NOT wearing seat belts, NOT wearing a bike helmet, and only having a lap belt to protect me when I was these kids' ages. And, I'm only in my mid-30s. Ah, gotta love the "safety police" and the nanny state it creates.
Posted by: BA   2007-08-29 21:38  

#12  I live daily with a 2-year-old whose parent wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, and it sucks. If we're lucky, and if we're given the time, we may be able to correct the majority of the problems created by poor parenting by the time the child graduates from college. It's not a fun thing. People with poor or nonexistent parenting skills are a real threat. The biggest problem is that 1) Spears doesn't recognize she has a problem, and 2) Federline is equally as bad.

A curse upon all those idiots and their psycho-babble that have robbed two generations of children of a proper childhood, and upon the parents that actually BELIEVE this runny brown fecal matter.
Posted by: Old Patriot   2007-08-29 19:56  

#11  Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Posted by: Anonymoose   2007-08-29 11:38  

#10  Wasn't the toothbrush was invented in Louisiana? I figure if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teethbrush...
Posted by: tu3031   2007-08-29 11:33  

#9  Well, she's from Kentwood, LA. What else would you expect from Kentwood? Demographics: 34% White, 64% Black. Median Income $17,297. 37.6% of the population lives below the poverty line.
Me thinks dental hygene isn't high on the list for most folks from Kentwood. Gawd, have you seen their teeth down there?
Posted by: Big Gromolet7601   2007-08-29 11:17  

#8  Ya can take the girl outta the trailer park, but ya can't take the trailer park outta the girl.
Posted by: tu3031   2007-08-29 09:28  

#7  Not just seatbelts, Deacon, but shoulder harnesses, too. Poor little tykes look like NASCAR drivers.
Posted by: Spot   2007-08-29 08:27  

#6  High chairs come with seatbelts now? The wonders of the Modern Nanny State.
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2007-08-29 07:47  

#5  It's the culture - you wouldn't want the kids to be the butt of jokes of their redneck peer group because of the number of teeth they had. Kids with glasses are teased and called 'four eyes', they'd be called 'twenty eight tooth' or something.
Posted by: Glenmore   2007-08-29 07:34  

#4  People like Spears justify making seat belts and usage voluntary. Darwin had a point.
Posted by: Nimble Spemble   2007-08-29 07:02  

#3  This total moron drives with her child held in her lap.

Whenever I see someone doing this, I always roll down the window and yell to them: "Kids make great airbags!" People like Spears justify demands that prospective parents should first obtain a child-bearing license. Her parenting skills are on a par with her music, except that her worthless music is better.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-08-29 06:43  

#2  "But he brushes after every meal" > Awwwwww, I wanted to say it. LOL. Gotta say whats WTH going on back thar' in Hollywood to these celebs???
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2007-08-29 04:11  

#1  The best jape so far is that Cletus thinks she's an unfit parent because she's become pregnant again with Barack Obama's luv child.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2007-08-29 00:27  

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