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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Animals of the Jungle |
| 2007-11-04 |
| In a set of PowerPoint slides, a military insider jokingly explains the rank structure of the U.S. military. It's a jungle out there. The "Jungle" A guide to military ranks Gazelles = 2nd Lieutenants Although easily frightened, they have been known to stupidly lounge in plain sight of the "lions" Runs at high speeds, with no purpose or direction The slow and weak are frequently slain Cheetah = 1st Lieutenants Loner, feisty Makes the occasional kill on a weaker animal Lions = Captains Hunts in packs Can bring down a larger animal with coordination Easily slays the "cheetah" Water Buffalo = Majors Aging, slower beast, but -- Cannot be brought down by a single "Lion" Hippopotamus = Lt. Colonels Slow and cumbersome on land Safe in own environment Lays low to avoid enemies Elephants = Colonels Rules the "Jungle" Impossible to bring down except by his own efforts. Sloth = Warrant Officer Skilled in one area only Comes around only to feed and take care of bodily functions Dung Beetle = NCOs Forced to deal with the "crap" created by other animals Ant = Contract Employee Lowest on the food chain. Extremely productive, but can be eliminated by even a cheetah. Dung beetles like to play with them. |
| Posted by:Nimble Spemble |