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-Signs, Portents, and the Weather-
Small Town Overcome By Mysterious Ape Sightings
2007-11-14
GLEN ST. MARY, Fla. -- Mysterious ape sightings are bringing excitement to a sleepy Florida town. Residents have been hearing screeches in the night and stories of sightings echo on every corner.

The local newspaper even ran a story about the sightings.

"There is kind of that 'I've seen a bigfoot' type of feel to it," said resident Eric Lawson. "They said it made a nest in that tree, so it's probably somewhere here in the area."

Some believe the mysterious animal is an orangutan -- one local family had found what looked to be an orange ape up high in a tree. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission investigator who answered the original complaint call on the orange ape said there was definitely something up in the top of the tree, but he really couldn't be sure what it was.

He said he took a pack of jelly donuts and left it at the bottom of the tree, hoping to lure the creature to the ground. He said he hasn't heard anything since. "The next morning, the people came out and it was, it was gone," Lawson said.
Was there a police car nearby, that night?
If the mysterious animal was an ape, where did it come from? State officials said no one in Baker County is licensed to own an orangutan.
"Right turn, Clyde."
Posted by:anonymous5089

#4  Is the license required for semi-automatic orangutans, or just the fully automatic ones?

When orangutans are outlawed...

Oh heck, it's probably just someone's trunk monkey, which isn't even an ape.

(wink wink, nudge nudge... since an ape would need a license, but a trunk monkey wouldn't. Oh, except in Noo Yawk, DC, Chicago, and California. No word on when they plan on going after seeing-eye flying lemurs, probably after the earthquakes subside).
Posted by: Abdominal Snowman   2007-11-14 19:56  

#3  If the mysterious animal was an ape, where did it come from? State officials said no one in Baker County is licensed to own an orangutan.

There are too many punch lines for this statement, I can't really pick one.
Posted by: Abdominal Snowman   2007-11-14 19:52  

#2  He said he took a pack of jelly donuts which just happened to be on the seat next to him.
The next morning, when he saw there was no tip, he knew he was dealing with a wild animal or an illegal.
Posted by: wxjames   2007-11-14 18:58  

#1  Damn Glen St. Mary?

Likely a bear or a bear dressed up as an Ape, or an escaped ape from Nassau County. Or a local taking care of his still in a Great Ape Suit.

Or one of Snowies friends.
Posted by: Thomas Woof   2007-11-14 17:11  

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