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Home Front: Politix
Lileks on the candidates
2008-01-08
ItÂ’s New Hampshire day; flinty residents of one of AmericaÂ’s narrowest states will chose the next leader of the free world today, if you believe the hype. IÂ’m undecided. This being the age of Feeling, here's my emotional reaction to the candidates:

Fred Thompson has that Emperor Palpatine thing going on . . . And I like that. Makes you want to say “yung SKYYY-wokkah,” does it?

Hillary – well, I feel sorry for her, in a way, because her time in the sun seems to have coincided with the exact moment the electorate decided it was tired of being ruled by Boomers. If someone grew up accustomed the sound of mom burping the lid on some Tupperware, people don’t want to have anything to do with them.

Huckabee: he makes me recoil, instinctively. Some of this has to do with his positions, but itÂ’s mostly the particular flavor of his religiosity and the thickness of its application to his campaign. People who think heÂ’s some Elmer Gantry-type whoÂ’ll run around tossing flag-wrapped Bibles into the crowd overstate the case, but still: he just strikes me as one of those fellows whoÂ’ll treat you with respect and friendship and good cheer, and you know he thinks youÂ’re going to hell. No, thatÂ’s not fair, but there it is. I donÂ’t think heÂ’s a phony - Bill Clinton was a phony, but he was such a genuine heartfelt phony it didnÂ’t matter. Huckabee just rubs me the wrong way. Nothing more profound or irrational than that.

Mitt Romney? Super-brainy smart, a proven administrator, impeccably decent. In some parallel universe where good is bad and bad is good and James Bond serves Satan, Mitt Romney is Blofeld. HeÂ’s an admirable man in many ways. But my favorite finely-crafted piece of Stickley furniture is an admirable piece of wood in many ways, too. I cannot warm to Romney.

I like John McCain. He seems like the sort of guy you could have a beer with, right up to the moment where he smashes the bottle on the table and jams it in your face over something you said six years ago.

I like Rudy Guiliani, partly because his second-term sex scandal would involve someone closer to Teri HatcherÂ’s age than Jamie Lynn Spears. But mostly because he is smart, agrees with me on enough things, and does not appear to have a heart ruled by sentiment. I do not want a National Dad or even a Cool Brother (double-meaning unintended) for the President; I want someone with JFKÂ’s optimism, RooseveltÂ’s steel, TrumanÂ’s irascibility, and so forth.

But itÂ’s all for naught if the Obamaboom continues, because he has the zeitgeist at his back and a sail the size of an IMAX screen. People will vote for him because they want to be part of something larger, and thatÂ’s a rare and potent thing these days. Whether thatÂ’s a wise thing to do in perilous times depends on whether people think weÂ’re living in perilous times, I suppose. WeÂ’ll see.

In the end, I think of the person I'd like to see behind the big desk the night the President addresses the nation after the nutwads pull off something big. It's certainly not Ron Paul. He'd probably bitch us out for starting it all by enraging the Barbary Pirates.
Posted by:Mike

#9  Spiny GI, Mr. Lileks is a long time op-ed writer for the Minneapolis newspaper. He has been blogging for years, mostly charming little bits about his daughter growing into childhood and suchlike silliness. Think of him as a much smarter and more perceptive Dave Barry, if that helps.

Are you really a consultant?
Posted by: trailing wife   2008-01-08 22:19  

#8  What time is it Spiny G?
Posted by: Thomas Woof   2008-01-08 15:08  

#7  I wouldnt mind dueling it out with that, if that is the best ya got......BTW I'm a consultant, and i'd like to borrow your watch.
Posted by: Spiny Gl 2511   2008-01-08 12:55  

#6  Who is the writer of this?

You refer, sir, to the mighty James Lileks, only the finest writer you've never heard of.
Posted by: Mike   2008-01-08 12:02  

#5  Play nice boys.
Posted by: bigjim-ky   2008-01-08 11:27  

#4  lots a rocks, so I say rock on.
Posted by: Spiny Gl 2511   2008-01-08 11:11  

#3  spiny - been under a rock for awhile?
Posted by: Whomong Guelph4611   2008-01-08 11:08  

#2  Who is the writer of this? WRT romney brainy smart? Hi i'm a consultant, can i borrow your watch?

lol on the rest as well.
Posted by: Spiny Gl 2511   2008-01-08 10:25  

#1  Lileks is a brilliant man, huh?
Posted by: newc   2008-01-08 08:23  

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