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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Madonna to remake Casablanca
2008-04-01
IT'S fair to say Madonna's film career hasn't been that successful, but the Material Girl keeps trying. Reports from Britain suggest she is hoping to do a remake of the classic film Casablanca. Madonna is reportedly hoping to film it in Iraq, and play the lead role of Ilsa Lund, which was made famous by Ingrid Bergman.

Madonna isn't phased that most of her films have been turkeys. A source from a major Hollywood studio the singer had approached said it would be difficult to get the project going. "She is still determined to make it in the movies," the source said. "She and her representatives have been touring around a project, which is a remake of Casablanca. The reception has been lukewarm to say the least. No one can understand why she wants to redo what many people consider the greatest film of all time."

Madonna, 49, is in the middle of a promotional blitz to launch her album Hard Candy.
Posted by:Fred

#23  "Whats next, trying to remake Animal House, set in a Madrassa in Pakistan?"

Now that might be fun to watch, OS. :-D
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2008-04-01 23:01  

#22  In my own way, I'm the shadow behind their success.

JosephM, you are a never ending delight.
Posted by: trailing wife   2008-04-01 22:13  

#21  Madonna should remake "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace". She could play Jar Jar Binks.
Posted by: DMFD   2008-04-01 19:05  

#20  Madonna wants to remake Casablanca because she actually thinks it's an anti-war movie.
Posted by: MarkZ   2008-04-01 15:55  

#19  Don't forget the subplot where Britney Spears is trying to get money to buy the letters of transit from Karl Rove. She finally gets them by bedding Rick, played by KFed, in a menage a trois with Paris Hilton.

And the part where Cher signs The Internationale and drowns out a bunch of Marines start singing God Bless the USA.
Posted by: Nimble Spemble   2008-04-01 14:00  

#18  //on, the Ghost of Rick,
" Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine, and proceeds to phuque it all up."
//off the G.of R.
Posted by: USN, Ret.   2008-04-01 13:53  

#17  tu3031
That's too subtle for hollywierd
Posted by: Bright Pebbles   2008-04-01 13:35  

#16  Ricks' will be an S&M gay bar, Barry Manilow will be the piano player. Rick and Louie? A beautiful friendship? You better believe it. Barack Obama makes a cameo as Victor Lazlo, George Bush as Major Strasser. Madonna gets stopped by the TSA for nipple rings, tries to run for it and gets gunned down. THE END.
I remember I laughed when the writers went on strike. This shit ain't that hard.
Posted by: tu3031   2008-04-01 12:51  

#15  It will be very interesting to see how a remake would twist the subplots - can't have people being noble and heroic anymore. Rick will have to get on the plane with Ilsa and sell out Victor to Strasser & Renault.
Posted by: Menhadden Snogum6713   2008-04-01 12:40  

#14  A5089 asked me to ask for more b00bies in films pls.
Posted by: Bright Pebbles   2008-04-01 12:17  

#13  Then look at the "original" movies that have done well. 300,etc. Not more of the same-old same-old.

You'd think Hollywierd would learn.

Want a sure-fire #1 box office success?

Make one loosely based on Michael Yon's stories about the troops in Iraq, starting with the chaos in Mosul with the infiltration of Al Qaeda, covering the "new strategy" of staying out with the people, culminating with the firefights and pacifications, and the firefight he described in his epic "Gates of Fire" post about the "Deuce Four" commander, and finishing with the "Welcome Home" banquet.

Starring Bruce Willis of course. Show our guys to be the heroes they are, Al Qaeda and the ambushers as the criminals and thugs they are, and the Iraqi people as the long suffering people who now have a glimmer of hope and freedom.

This will make a TON of money.
Posted by: OldSpook   2008-04-01 11:51  

#12  "Enter the Dragon" is to be soon remade, IIRC, Chuck Norris mentioned it in a recent WND column.
Posted by: anonymous5089   2008-04-01 11:33  

#11  Another example of the lack of creativity from Hollywood and the relience of not actor/resses but big name people to attract the crowd. Why? Because nothing says sexy Hard Candy like a washed up 49 year old pop singer in a miniskirt. Unless, of course since she is Jewish and Guy Richie is British, they could set it in Tel-Aviv 1948 and call it something else.

This is a continuing trend. Animal House was somewhat remade in PCU, Enter the Dragon became Mortal Kombat. Hills have Eyes, Texas Chainsaw, Manchurian Candidate, Poseiden, and so on have all been redone. Hollywood has no new superstars on the horizon so they rely on familiar movies with washed personel.

There are so many great, true stories already written by excellent authors - Tin Can Soldiers, Punic and Gallic Wars. Tom Robbins books could be done in a Fear and Loathing Style, fantasy has the whole Shanarra series and chapters in the Simerillian.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2008-04-01 11:25  

#10  I'm looking for the remake of Mommie Dearest, starring Britney Spears.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2008-04-01 10:28  

#9  I'll bet Madonna would like to be able to fly like a bird too.
But that's not gonna happen either.
Posted by: tu3031   2008-04-01 09:55  

#8  Anyone knows a good imam willing to issue a fatwa against people who make such tasteless April Fool's jokes?
Posted by: JFM   2008-04-01 09:54  

#7  *groan*

They have to piss on everything positive icon of American culture, don't they?

Well, I'll be happy since it will flop at the box office but there should be a law against this.
Posted by: DarthVader   2008-04-01 09:48  

#6  NO!!!

Whats next, trying to remake Animal House, set in a Madrassa in Pakistan?

Posted by: OldSpook   2008-04-01 09:32  

#5  They found another set of studio execs to waste even more money? The anti-war crap hasn't been enough red ink? Here's a concept - make movies the great number of Americans want not what the mau mauing herd of isolated small inbred personalities want. If you want to make Anti-American screeds for the international market, make them in Canada without any American tax incentives or write-offs.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2008-04-01 09:16  

#4  There should be a fatwa against such things.
Posted by: JFM   2008-04-01 09:09  

#3  No! No! No!

That would be sacrelige. Blasphemy. Desecration!

Keep your greedy, untalented paws off Casablanca!
Posted by: Mike   2008-04-01 08:43  

#2  "She's still determined to make it in the movies" >:

*Stop taking too many years = lead time between making movies.
*Stop picking movie plots whom don't match your strengths or persona, etc.
* "SWEPT AWAY" + "BODY OF EVIDENCE" WERE NOT BAD, BUT STILL HAD TOO MANY WEAK SPOTS vv POTENTIAL, espec WRONG ACTORS FOR LEADING MEN.

Surreally speaking, there are no bad movies or plots, only BAD ORGANIZATION, DEV, SYNERGY + SUPPORT ESPEC FROM DIRECTORS + PRODUCERS = PERSON(S)-IN-CHARGE WHOM SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

E.g. PENN STATE > I'm no trained Filmographer or Photographer, BUT I WILL SAY THAT FILM STUDENTS WHOM LISTENED TO MY ADVICE GOT HIGH GRADES AND AUDIENCE REVIEWS FOR THEIR WORK. I KNOW WHAT I LIKE. I CAN ALSO MAKE THE SAME CLAIM ON SEVERAL POPULAR NET SITES. In my own way, I'm the shadow behind their success.
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2008-04-01 00:30  

#1  yawn
Posted by: Woodrow Slusorong7967   2008-04-01 00:14  

00:00