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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Idiot of the Day: Posthumous |
| 2008-07-23 |
| Would-be burglar found dead in Hollywood ventilation shaft was upside down Pic at the link. He looks like a guy that would be found dead upside down in a ventilation shaft... Police think man was trying to rob Hollywood sports bar Well...maybe he just snuck out for a smoke maybe. HOLLYWOOD - A man whose body was found in the ventilation shaft of a Hollywood sports bar was upside down and died of suffocation, the Broward Medical Examiner's Office said today. The cause of death of Benjamin Rodriguez, 46, was given as positional asphyxia, meaning his lungs became compressed and he suffocated. It was classified as an accident. Benjamin "Mastermind" Rodriguez... The Hollywood man could have been dead for up to 72 hours when police found him at 441 All-Star Sports Bar, 1510 S. State Road 7, on Saturday night, authorities said. Hey. Does it always smell like that in here? Smell like what? Police believe Rodriguez, who was 5-foot-7 and weighed 182 pounds, could have been trying to burglarize the business. Damn fine police work if ya ask me... "Rooftop burglaries aren't uncommon, but to have somebody stuck or die is," police spokesman Lt. Manny Marino said Sunday."This is the first one I've seen where the person died," said Marino, who has been with Hollywood police for 13 years. I wish I'd seen more, but...sorry. It took authorities about five hours to extricate the body from the vent, which police said measured no more than 2 square feet. Charlie, gimme the sawzall... Employees of the bar called police about 7:20 p.m. Saturday, after they smelled a foul odor and saw what appeared to be blood dripping onto the bar's kitchen floor. Hey. Is that barbeque sauce? And has that cheese gone bad? Nope. Looks like there's a dead guy in the vent. Firefighters arrived and found the body trapped in the exhaust vent of the stove hood. Hey, Charlie. Lookit this... Crime scene technicians were at the sports bar throughout the night, and the body was removed by about 1 a.m. Sunday, Marino said. Hey, hurry it up. We don't wanna miss CSI... The gruesome find came two days after sports bar employees noticed a few ceiling tiles had fallen to the floor, police said. We thought it was an earthquake or...sumthin. The incident was classified as an attempted break-in and no one thought then there might be a body trapped in the vent. But...what if there's a dead guy in the vent? Yeah. Right. Does it always smell like that in here? Smell like what? The previous week, another business that shares the small strip mall with the sports bar was burglarized. Investigators think the dead man successfully burglarized the adjacent business and returned to break into the sports bar, Marino said. Ha! That was easy! Over the years in South Florida, many thieves have cut through roofs to steal from businesses -- jewelry stores, pawn shops, check-cashing and convenience stores, according to news reports. Elsewhere in the nation, there have been reports of rooftop burglars breaking bones and suffering other injuries in falls. Look for OSHA to demand that airbags be deployed after an establishment closes to prevent a recurrence of such tragedies... Though risky, the rooftop entry method may be preferred because it's harder to detect than forcing open a door or breaking a window, Marino said. Risky? Any comment on that Benny? Those more conventional methods tend to set off burglar alarms, but generally, internal motion sensors detect even rooftop burglars once they get inside. What is this, The Thomas Crown Affair? If the man found dead in the sports bar was trying to rob the place, he may have given his life for a small amount of cash or alcoholic beverages. If? "It would've been minimal," Marino said of the potential haul. "This is a closed bar. What could have possibly been there?" The motherrlode. Booze, smokes, and lottery tickets... |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #6 Preemptive Karma. 'Works for me. |
| Posted by: Lone Ranger 2008-07-23 22:56 |
| #5 Expect a lawsuit from the family "He wuz gittin' a job with the DNC passin' out smokes and booze on 'lection day!" |
| Posted by: Mullah Richard 2008-07-23 16:47 |
| #4 Look for OSHA to demand that airbags be deployed after an establishment closes to prevent a recurrence of such tragedies... Hey! Don't give them any ideas.... |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2008-07-23 14:55 |
| #3 Mike Rowe on Dirty Jobs did an elevator cleaning bit and while he found used condoms and other debris, there were no dead burglars hanging around, inverted or otherwise. |
| Posted by: USN, Ret. 2008-07-23 14:47 |
| #2 Oh, absolutely. That goes without saying. "He was a good man. He wuz turnin his life around." |
| Posted by: tu3031 2008-07-23 14:40 |
| #1 Expect a lawsuit from the family. |
| Posted by: bigjim-ky 2008-07-23 14:17 |