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India-Pakistan
Nuggets from the Urdu press
2008-08-24
Lawyers working for the country's security
As reported in daily Express, Chaudhry Aslam Sindhu, vice chairman of Punjab Bar Council, presided over a flag hoisting ceremony. He said that a lawyer had made Pakistan and lawyers continue to contribute to Pakistan's stability. He said that today the parliament shall take oath to utilise Pakistan's abundant resources and bring Pakistan on the road of self-sufficiency.

Six youth killed by one-wheeling on August 14
As reported in daily Jang, six youngsters died and over 400 were injured in different cities during the Independence Day celebrations. Police in Lahore arrested over 200 youth for one-wheeling and riding motorcycles without silencers. Police also baton charged youth that were involved in teasing on Mall Road, Lahore.

Bush vs Sikhs
Columnist Kishwar Naheed wrote in daily Jang, that Sikh Gurmukh Singh rang President Bush and said that he, along with his cousin, neighbour and his Kabadi team were going to attack America. Bush replied that he has 100 million Army Reserve soldiers. The next day the Sikh called again and said that he had collected infantry equipment and added a donkey and a tractor. Bush replied that he has 16 thousand tanks and 14 thousand armoured men. The Sikh called Bush again and said that they had mounted shotguns on an American tractor. Bush replied that he has 10 thousand bombers and 20 thousand fighter jets with laser guided missiles. The next day Gurmukh Singh called again and said that they will not attack America, as they can't feed 100 million American prisoners.

The facts of Dr Afia's case
In daily Khabrain, the US Ambassador in Pakistan, Anne W Peterson, wrote that a few journalists were distorting facts to influence the opinion of people and sensationalising the issue of Dr Afia Siddiqui. She denied that Dr Afia was in American custody and said that Dr Afia was arrested on July 17 2008. She was not detained at Bagram Airbase. She has access to a Pakistani councillor under the Vienna Convention. She said that readers should see these allegations with an open mind but with suspicion.

Stage plays not suitable for families: Sohail Ahmad
As reported in Daily Pakistan, famous stage actor Sohail Ahmad said that plays being staged today are not suitable for families. He said that plays used to have quality when he started acting on stage. Today, stage plays only constitute dances and there is no such thing as acting in these plays. He said that he wanted to be a singer and God had given him a good voice.

Gurmukh Singhs of Pakistan
Columnist Kishwar Naheed wrote in daily Jang, that we are all Gurmukh Singhs of our areas. Why don't we concentrate the coalition meetings on 270 girls schools destroyed in Swat and discuss how many people are killed in Bara between Lashkar Islam and An Al-munkar. Why is it being said that Taliban can take over Karachi, why does Dr Afia's case hit headlines now when she was kidnapped years ago.

Property prices in Peshawar decline
According to daily Nawa-e-Waqt, rumours of Taliban taking over Peshawar has caused a dip in the property prices and influential people are selling their property and settling in Punjab. Rumours are rife that Taliban have reached the outskirts of Peshawar. Criminals have started their activities to bring a bad name to Taliban. Buying or selling property in posh areas has come to a stop.

Pakistan Hockey Team waiting for a miracle in Olympics
As reported in daily Khabrain, Pakistan lost to Australia in an important field hockey match in the Beijing Olympics and their hopes to reach the finals are dashed. Pakistan's team coach, Naveed Alam, said from Beijing that bad umpiring was the cause of their defeat. He also blamed a power struggle in the Pakistan Hockey Federation as a cause of their defeat. Pakistan still has a chance if Holland is defeated by Pakistan and Australia.

Solve electricity crisis and control prices
As reported in daily Khabrain, trader representatives in Khabrain forum said that the government should consult small traders before making a trade policy. They said that the government should leave the impeachment or restoration of judges and solve the issue of price hikes, shortage of electricity and the law and order situation. They said that 20 billion dollars have already left the country.

Taliban collecting zakat to wage jihad
As reported n daily Nawa-e-Waqt, in Bajaur Agency, Taliban are collecting zakat, usher and tax to wage jihad against America. According to sources, Tehreek Taliban would use this money to compensate the families of those who died in the war against America in Afghanistan and in army operations. People are paying from Rs 30 to Rs 25,000. Taliban are also collecting taxes from transporters and petrol stations. One petrol station gives 120 litres petrol to Taliban.

Godfathers of music live in Lahore: Hansraj Hans
As reported in daily Express, famous Indian Punjabi singer Hansraj Hans visited the shrine of Sufi saint Data Ganj Baksh and had breakfast with the well-known singer of Patiala school, Hamid Ali Khan. Hansraj said that Lahore is the centre of music and that the godfathers of music live in this city. He said that Hamid Ali Khan is a great singer and his years of practice is visible in his singing.

Dancer Deedar in trouble on August 14
Sarerahe wrote in daily Nawa-e-Waqt, that youths celebrating stopped the car of the stage dancer Deedar and started dancing around her car on August 14. Deedar is famous for sharrif dance on stage. Amar Bil Maroof should take note of all kinds of dances. Our showbiz people should think of some sharrif biz, as Taliban are making a programme of Amar Bil Maroof in Lahore and Karachi. Deedar should not make bad use of dance and should stop dancing on stage.

Suicide bomber was wearing explosive underwear
As reported in daily Jang, police is collecting evidence on the suicide bomber in Iqbal Town. According to police sources, they found the head and torso of the bomber, but not his legs. This is the first case in Lahore. A similar case was found in Dera Ismail Khan, when again only the head of the suicide bomber was found. Polices sources said that the bomb was five to six kilos and had a small battery attached to it.

Begum Sehba Musharraf left for America
As reported in Daily Pakistan, President Musharraf has sent Begum Sehba Musharraf to America. A meeting of representatives of the Army Chief, Asif Zardari and Musharraf is being held to discuss a safe exit for Musharraf and his security. According to the agreement, no case would be filed against Musharraf if he resigns. Guarantees were given that if any other political party tried to open a case against Musharraf, the government will arrange for his safe exit to abroad.
Posted by:Fred

#4  Ali Khan is a great singer and his years of practice is visible in his singing.

Man after quality mushrooms anything is possible. You may trust me on this thing. A beagle once told me he was depressered because he was born to be a tap dancer.
Posted by: .5MT   2008-08-24 11:50  

#3  The next day Gurmukh Singh called again and said that they will not attack America, as they can't feed 100 million American prisoners.

There is only one version and 'ailor Man John Frumm is write it.
Posted by: .5MT   2008-08-24 11:46  

#2  I first heard a version of this joke in the early 1950's. It involved Japanese and Chinese combat losses in WWII. We see it today because it's still true. Pompous little dictators make stupid statements against far greater forces often. Iran is the current champ.
Posted by: Richard of Oregon   2008-08-24 10:58  

#1   Columnist Kishwar Naheed wrote in daily Jang, that Sikh Gurmukh Singh rang President Bush and said that he, along with his cousin, neighbour and his Kabadi team were going to attack America. Bush replied that he has 100 million Army Reserve soldiers. The next day the Sikh called again and said that he had collected infantry equipment and added a donkey and a tractor. Bush replied that he has 16 thousand tanks and 14 thousand armoured men. The Sikh called Bush again and said that they had mounted shotguns on an American tractor. Bush replied that he has 10 thousand bombers and 20 thousand fighter jets with laser guided missiles. The next day Gurmukh Singh called again and said that they will not attack America, as they can't feed 100 million American prisoners.

;) How many versions of this story are there?
Posted by: tipper   2008-08-24 01:25  

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