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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Malaysian man gets nut, not testicle, not almond, not lunatic, stuck around doinker
2008-09-05
We don't make this stuff up. Maybe other people do, but we don't.
A Malaysian welder had to have a nut removed from around his doinker penis after an attempt to lengthen it before he gets engaged next week went embarrassingly wrong, a news report said on Sunday.
"Whoa! That is just so wrong!"
"I'm so embarrassed!"
The nut got stuck on his hose penis following an erection, the Star newspaper said, forcing him to seek help at a hospital in southern Johor state.
"The ad said 'In the event of an erection lasting more than four hours seek professional assistance.'"
"Yeah?"
"That'd be you!"
"I'm a hooker."
"A professional hooker. I can tell."
"Lemme see what you got... Whoa! Now that's a nut!"
"Couldja maybe...?"
"Nope. I don't think so. I'll drive you to the hospital, though."
Staff from the Sultanah Aminah hospital had to drain some blood from the schlang penis and cut away a top layer of skin before the object could be removed, the newspaper said.
"This might hurt a little..."
"Aaaiiiieee!"
"Fish him down from the ceiling, wouldja, nurse? I ain't done yet."
It said the fire and rescue department were also involved in trying to remove the nut from the unnamed welder, who is in his 20s and hoped the nut would weigh down his baloney penis to make it longer.
"Hand me those Jaws of Life, wouldja, Clancy?"
"Holy shit! Allahu akbar!"
"Grab him, Clancy!"
"The patient is now recovering
"[Whimper!]"
and we hope to discharge him today [Sunday]," hospital director Daud Abdul Rahim told the paper.
Posted by:Fred

#5  need more detail: was it fine or coarse thread.

oh, on second thought sounds like a Wile E. Coyote "Acme" thread moment.......
Posted by: USN, Ret.   2008-09-05 15:54  

#4  Wow! There's another thing I don't have to try for myself. Thanks.
Posted by: Richard of Oregon   2008-09-05 11:36  

#3  What a spanner !
Posted by: Mad Eye   2008-09-05 10:45  

#2  Ouch!
Posted by: tipover   2008-09-05 02:37  

#1  This is likely cultural in nature, intended to improve male performance and female arousal/satisfaction during the coital act, aka "it-It-It-IT"! [THE SIMPSONS]. * NUTSHELL = THE ANCIENT/TRIBALIST EQUIV OF A MALE DILDO. The man has to be careful about getting his member seriously damaged or infected.
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2008-09-05 01:08  

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