David Plotz, SlateI could never make this stuff up. I'm not creative enough.
I rarely remember my dreams, but for the past week, GOP vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin has been haunting me. Night after night, she appears in my dreams, always as a scolding, ominous figure.
You must be a Democrat.
When I mentioned my Palin dreams to Slate colleagues, they volunteered their own. One Obama-supporting colleague dreamed she had urged her young son to kill Palin with a string bean.
Sarah deftly disarmed the little tyke and sent him off to play with Piper and Willow, then made the mother do sacramental penance by going on a string-bean-only diet from now to election day.
Another dreamed she was at a fashion show and Palin served her crème fraîche on little scooped corn chips.
The next course was moose liver patè with a garnish of opilio crab legs.
A third says, "In the Sarah Palin dream I keep having, she has superhuman powers but is not really a person at all. In fact, she is more like the weather with glasses and an up-do, pushing clouds around and pitching lightning bolts."
Sarah can actually do that. Be afraid, Obama. Be very afraid.