Submit your comments on this article |
Home Front Economy |
Updated Financial Terminology |
2008-11-15 |
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER — What my broker has made me. STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected. MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use. |
Posted by:tipper |