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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Ore. woman, 88, gives naked intruder the 'squeeze'
2009-01-01
PORTLAND, Ore. — The Multnomah County Sheriff's Office said an 88-year-old woman fended off a naked intruder by grabbing the man's crotch and squeezing. Deputy Paul McRedmond said the man got into the house Tuesday through a sliding door. He backed the woman into her living room and pushed her face down onto a chair.
"Into the living room, y'old bat!"
That's when the woman reached behind and squeezed.
"Aaaaiiieee!"
The man tore free and fled.
"Keds, don't fail me now!"
McRedmond said a county code enforcement officer who heard the police call on his radio spotted a car near the woman's house and passed on the license information to authorities. Troutdale police arrested a 46-year-old man. He has been jailed on accusations of burglary, harassment and private indecency. Bail was set at $110,000.
And, believe it or not, I introduce our suspect...
Michael G. Dick, 46, was arrested by Troutdale police a short time after the attack, according to the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office.
Posted by:Fred

#8  Frequent opening and closing of prescription bottles enhances grip strength.
Posted by: Poison Reverse   2009-01-01 15:25  

#7  The question now is whether he is still Big Dick or if he has been demoted to Little Dick. Anyway, three cheers for Granny. Hip, hip, hooray. Hip, hip, hooray. Hip, hip, hooray. And a happy new year to you, maam, whoever you are.
Posted by: Richard of Oregon   2009-01-01 10:43  

#6  That's when the woman reached behind and squeezed

A 88 year old reach-around ewwww
Posted by: regular joe   2009-01-01 10:12  

#5  First heard this on the radio and thought that i had mis-heard the perp's name... shows my ears are still 5 by 5 (unless Spousal Unit wants something done)
Happy New Year, Y'all!
Posted by: USN,Ret.   2009-01-01 04:05  

#4  Ballsy move from Gran.
Posted by: Bright Pebbles   2009-01-01 03:34  

#3  The man tore free and fled.

ouch. Almost sounds like she got a souvenir.
Posted by: Shalet and Tenille1168   2009-01-01 01:59  

#2  When it doubt, go for the gold. :-D

Howz that "naked intruder" thing workin' out for ya? Dick.
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2009-01-01 00:44  

#1  Gave him a "voice-change" operation, eh? Egg-cellent!
Posted by: PBMcL   2009-01-01 00:27  

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