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China-Japan-Koreas
Ridiculous Challenge of Human Garbage
2009-01-24
Now THIS is some rant! I think we found our new KCNA writer!
Pyongyang, January 23 (KCNA) -- Governor of Tokyo Metropolis Ishihara's hysteria has gone beyond the tolerance limit.

Recently he made himself busy sending a "letter" to the supreme headquarters of the DPRK requesting it to reinvestigate the "abduction issue" and talked the nonsense that the "best way" for settling the nuclear issue on the Korean Peninsula is to "annex" the DPRK to China.

What a rude and reckless behavior it is!

Ishihara is a universally recognized political imbecile and crazy ultra-nationalist.

His outbursts are devoid of any propriety and logical coherence.

Once he uttered that China might be divided in the years to come and that would be an ideal time for Japan and its other neighbors in Asia to raise their heads only to lash the countries in the region into fury and provoke derision among them.

The DPRK does not feel any need to comment on these ridiculous remarks as they were made by the psychopathic politician too long ago to draw the attention of people.

But it is necessary to let the world know the reason why he went again into such anti-DPRK hysteria as vociferating about the "abduction issue" and the nuclear issue.

As for Ishihara, he abandoned the life of the third class writer, carried away by his ambition to become chief executive in Japan. But up to this date when he is near 80 his political career has been so miserable as to remain an insane politician keen to make queer remarks just to improve his image.

According to Japanese media, he is employing every possible means and method to establish the sphere of political domination of his family in the Japanese political camp by taking advantage of his present office.

He was reported to contemplate even shifting Tokyo food market, an issue related to the health of people, to a place polluted with poisonous substances where once stood a gas plant in a bid to curry favor with financial businesses including real estate dealers.

Ishihara is no more than a dirty political philistine who does not hesitate to harm the health of people to satisfy his political greed. The above-said ruckus of sending the "letter" and the like kicked up by him is nothing but a ridiculous farce to improve his badly tarnished image. His behavior intended to fish in troubled waters by foolishly challenging the supreme dignity of the DPRK will never be tolerated.

Ishihara's reckless behavior glaringly revealed the hypocrisy of the ruckuses being kicked up by the Japanese reactionaries over the "abduction issue" and the nuclear issue.

The Japanese reactionaries seem to calculate that they can win popularity and manage to make their living only when they trumpet about the "abduction issue" and the nuclear issue. Japan is, indeed, an abnormal country as such political philistine and those more dead than alive are allowed to ride roughshod in the political camp.

Japan is treated as a political pigmy and stands further isolated from the international community than ever before due to such bad guys as Ishihara who is steeped in the hysteric Samurai spirit, carried away by revanchism and national chauvinism.

No one knows that Ishihara may go the lengths of calling for annexing Japan to the U.S. in the future.

In this context, one may say Japan is fortunate enough to keep this guy from assuming its premiership up to this date.
Posted by:Blue Sky

#10  *happy sigh* Ptah, that was glorious.
Posted by: trailing wife    2009-01-24 22:24  

#9  *holds up card* 2.4

An obvious cribbing of western polemic: merely replace Governor Ishihara with President Bush, Japan with America, and samurai with cowboy, and you get what has been written tens of thousands of times on the Internet and world press.

We have been so long without a worthy performance from any KCNA writer that it is patently obvious that proper judging standards have slipped down the memory hole. As the originator of the Rantburg KCNA scoring system, it falls to me to remind everyone not to be swayed by the presence of terms such as "juche" or "sea of fire" or even the lack thereof. Terms, words, and phraseology are merely tools. They are the nuts and bolts of a performance whose main goal is the glorification of Dear Leader, DPRK, and the Army. A fine KCNA performance is one of superlative A$$KI$$ING, with the vocabluary a measure of the vigor ofapplication thereto. At the same time, there is artistry as well: just as a world-class athelete strives hard to make his performance look effortless and easy, so a KCNA performance should present the writer as being the most sincere person in all of North Korea, with not the slightest clue, hint, or indication that his job, his housing, family, health, and very life are dependent on him vigorously pandering to a world-class egomaniac. In this, "Army first" was superlative. If there ever is a class on "corporate ladder climbing" offered in any of the big 10 business schools, his columns will be case studies.
Posted by: Ptah   2009-01-24 22:08  

#8  Not a bad rant. The "steeped in the hysteric Samurai spirit" is getting there but needs more alliteration. And I miss the Sea of Fire. Just ain't the same without it.
Posted by: SteveS   2009-01-24 21:19  

#7  such bad guys as Ishihara who is steeped in the hysteric Samurai spirit

Bad guys? One hopes that is merely a translation error. That childish phrase resonates out of phase with the rest of the rant.
Posted by: trailing wife    2009-01-24 20:01  

#6  No one knows that Ishihara may go the lengths of calling for annexing Japan to the U.S. in the future.

I give it an 8, but only because they contradicted themselves. A "crazy ultra-nationalist" wouldn't call for annexation of Japan to the US. especially if one reads Ishara's previous stuff.
Posted by: Pappy   2009-01-24 19:35  

#5  While lacking in a superior signature (Sea of Fire) it does hold together well, and dast I say it... flows.

9.178
Posted by: .5MT   2009-01-24 16:17  

#4  political pigmy was a very nice touch. Good, derisive phrase, with self-contained imagery.

There is no mention of juich, or other well worn phrases. This little rant is a ray of hope, the rising of the Phoenix for KCNA. It is more thoughtful and imaginative than the famous KCNA rants of yore.

With a balanced diet and nutritional supplements, this writer will go far. Definitely a 9.072.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2009-01-24 13:36  

#3  It has the full feel of "Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!"
Posted by: Darrell   2009-01-24 11:50  

#2  meh - they used "philistine" twice. Once would've been sublime. The second indicates thesaurus failure
Posted by: Frank G   2009-01-24 11:43  

#1  If he/she ever decides to defect, DailyKos/HuffPo/insert yer favorite moonbat site will have some stiff competition.

Bravo!!! I would have given it a 10 if Lil' Kimmie would have been invoked, but it is a definite 9. The juche is strong in this one.
Posted by: Cornsilk Blondie   2009-01-24 10:54  

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