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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Couple charged in robbery of pizza deliveryman in Mount Carmel |
| 2009-01-26 |
| MOUNT CARMEL -- Mount Carmel police arrested a married couple Sunday accused in the early morning robbery of a pizza deliveryman who was clubbed repeatedly with an 18-inch long piece of firewood. What, they couldn't afford a baseball bat? The husband allegedly fled the scene with pizza, hot wings and cheese bread but no cash. It was the cheese bread that did it. Police believe the wife, Mary Elizabeth Bond, 25, called a pizza delivery order from Papa John's around midnight to be delivered to 925 Hermitage Drive, Mount Carmel, where she and her husband had been staying for the past few days. Smart. Call him to your house and then try to rob him. Must be alcohol involved. Or just plain stupidity. The deliveryman, David Bledsoe, reportedly arrived at the residence at 12:36 a.m. with about $37 worth of food. It's a trap! As Mrs. Bond allegedly beckoned Bledsoe up the driveway toward the house, "Pssst! Hey, sailor!" her husband, Bradley Allen Bond, 23, allegedly came from around the corner of the house and struck Bledsoe in the head with the wooden club. "Lady, I ain't a sailor... [Conk!]" From the picture of her I wouldn't get within a stone's throw. this is a warning. MCPD Officer Ken Lunsford told the Times-News Mr. Bond allegedly demanded cash "Gimme yer dough!" while striking Bledsoe repeatedly with the club, breaking the club three times in the process. Show me the Money! BAp! I don't have any! Bap. Then gimmie the Cheese Bread! During the beating Bledsoe reportedly pulled out a pocket knife, "Look out! He's got a knife!" prompting Mr. Bond to flee with the food. "Keds, don't fail me now!" Bledsoe then made his way back to his car and called his wife, who called 911 to report the robbery. What, he couldn't remember the number? After being conked repeatedly on the nut with a chunk of firewood? As Bledsoe was going back to his car, Mrs. Bond allegedly ordered her husband to try to grab Bledsoe's cell phone, "Grab his cell phone, Bradley!" "But he's got a knife!" "Well, you got cord wood! Use it!" but the victim was able to get to his car and drive away. "I'm outta here!" [Screech!] "When I arrived at the scene I talked to Mary Elizabeth Bond, and talked to the victim, and I determined that she was probably involved," Lunsford said. "What was yer first clue?" "She's just eaten an entire pizza and she was starting on the Buffler wings." "She finally admitted she'd been involved, that her husband came up with the idea they were going to rob a pizza delivery guy." What could possibly go wrong? The search continued for Bradley Bond throughout Sunday morning. The couple have no known permanent address, but police learned that Mr. Bond is related to the family that owns 925 Hermitage Drive and the couple had been staying there a few days. "Maw, kin we stay with youse fer a few days?" "Who're you?" "Bradley." "Thought I told you to git out and never come back?" During the search Sunday morning police interviewed other occupants of the house who said Bradley Bond indicated he "would not be taken alive." Come and get me, ya Dirty Coppers! You'll never get the Cheese Bread back! I ate it! Around 1:30 p.m. Sunday police received an anonymous tip that Mr. Bond was back at 925 Hermitage Drive. Officers surrounded the house, "Give up, Bradley! We got da place surrounded!" and when Mr. Bond attempted to leave through the back door he was met by Officer Chris Jones who ordered him to stop and show his hands. "Goin' someplace, Bradley? Stick 'em up!" Mr. Bond then retreated back into the house where he was intercepted by other officers in the kitchen. So much fer not being taken alive. Piker! MCPD Assistant Chief Mike Campbell said Mr. Bond apparently attempted "suicide by cop" as he reached into a cutlery drawer to grab a knife in the presence of officers with their guns drawn. Mr. Bond was unable to find a knife, however, and was tackled and taken into custody, Campbell said. Mary! Where the hell are the knives? Whatta ya mean we ain't got none? "Look out! He's got a... ummm... cheese grater." Police later learned that Mr. Bond was wanted in Carter County and Virginia, although the specific charges weren't available. "There ain't no law against bein' a dumbass, y'understand. But if we think hard enough we'll come up with somethin'." Mr. Bond reportedly told police he hatched the robbery scheme to raise enough money to get away to New Jersey to avoid the arrest warrants. Mr. Bond also reportedly told police he was willing to die because he "was tired of running." New Joisey? I been runnin' all muh life, an' it's time to quit. Lunsford said Bledsoe had less than $20 on his person when the robbery was attempted. Bledsoe was treated at the Indian Path Medical Center emergency room for a head injury. The stolen food was not found. Try a stomach pump. Bradley Bond was charged with especially aggravated robbery, resisting arrest and fugitive from justice and remained held in the Hawkins County Jail on Sunday night on $20,000 bond. Mary Elizabeth Bond was charged with especially aggravated robbery and was being held without bond. Life in East Tennessee |
| Posted by:Deacon Blues |
| #5 "Look out! He's got a... ummm... cheese grater." Count yourself lucky. Ever seen a melon baller injury? |
| Posted by: mojo 2009-01-26 17:18 |
| #4 Fred's is better than mine. |
| Posted by: Deacon Blues 2009-01-26 11:22 |
| #3 Most Excellent inline commentary! |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2009-01-26 10:59 |
| #2 he ahd warrants from 2 other places and additional charges yet he gets a bond and she doesn't . Can someone explain that too me |
| Posted by: rabid whitetail 2009-01-26 10:38 |
| #1 Idgits. Shoulda called his Congresscritter to come on down to do it. Then its call the 2009 |
| Posted by: Procopius2k 2009-01-26 10:03 |