TOKYO: Pakistan's foreign minister said on Wednesday his country can be a role model for the Muslim world, speaking ahead of a donors' meeting in Japan where Islamabad hopes to secure huge aid contributions. "Pakistan has transferred towards democracy," foreign minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi said. "And today I represent a democratically elected government of Pakistan.""We're collapsing into chaos and looking at rule by turbans, but we'll be a helluva role model!"
"Pakistan can be a role model of the Muslim world," he told reporters ahead of the meeting that aims to raise four to six billion dollars for the poverty-stricken country.
He was shieking and cackling and biting himself in the small of the back as he said that, natch...
Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari arrived in Tokyo Wednesday evening to attend the conference, which US envoy Richard Holbrooke and Iranian foreign minister Manouchehr Mottaki are also due to join. Qureshi said Pakistan has "a functioning democracy" with an elected president, national and district parliaments and its first woman speaker in the national assembly.
Every time they elect somebody they raid the treasury and are eventually replaced by the military, which is much better at oppressing the populace than they are at winning wars.
What Pakistan seeks from the Friday meeting is "an expression of political support of Pakistan's solidarity, Pakistan's role... as a frontline state fighting extremism and terrorism," he said.
... and lotsa money with no strings attached, which will end up in accounts in Switzerland and Lichtenstein.
Washington has put Pakistan at the heart of the fight against al-Qaida and US President Barack Obama has unveiled a sweeping new strategy to turn around the Afghan war and defeat Islamist militants on both sides of the border.
Pakistain's pretty much necessary to get to Afghanistan, and the areas controlled by the turbans are those along the border.
Qureshi also said a majority of Pakistani people would like to see friendly ties with India as well as neighbouring countries Afghanistan and Iran. "Our movements towards normalization (of ties with India) was very good. Unfortunately the Mumbai incident did create a setback," he said, referring to the November 26-29 siege that killed 165 people and derailed a five-year peace process between the nuclear-armed south Asian rivals.
"It couldn't be helped, of course. Those things happen when you live in day-to-day chaos, with people exploding all around you and beturbanned warlords rolling their eyes and taking control of large swathes of territory."
"But I must share with you that there is a large constituency of Pakistan that feels that it is Pakistan's interest to have a normal, good, neighbouring relationship with India," he said.
"They're going to be killed, of course."
On Iran and Afghanistan, Qureshi said he had invited senior officials from both countries to come to Islamabad to discuss Afghan refugees and efforts to fight the narcotics trade and terrorism.
"While they're there someone will try to kill them, but chances are they'll fail, at least on the first try. Probably the emissaries will get out alive. I have no idea how many people will be killed while they're there, but that's just our quaint local custom. Pay it no never-mind."
"Because when we talk about a regional approach to deal with terrorism and extremism, Iran is an important player in the region," he said.
"And we sure like shooting at Shiites."
The Japanese government said that Prime Minister Taro Aso will meet Zardari and Iran's Mottaki separately on Thursday.
"... but there's no way in hell he's going to Islamabad! Never!"