Two Camerounians and a Nigerian accomplice were recently lynched in Taraba state over allegations that they were involved in a case of missing genital organs. Confirming the incidence in Jalingo, the State Commissioner of Police, Musa Aliyu, gave the names of the suspects as Thomas Actiotus, Fosting Joseph, a driver attached to Cameroun Embassy in Lagos and the name of the Nigerian friend as Avea Torhinbo who said are passing through Kurmi Local Government area to Cameroun Republic when they were burnt to death. "Burn, doinker snatchers! Burn!"
He disclosed that trouble started when one Moses Umaru from Marraraba Donga raised an alarm that the 3 people who were driving a Toyota Jeep marked BV 802 AGL have removed his genital organ.
"Whoa! All that beer! I gotta whizz like a racehorse!... Say... What's this?... Where's my hose?"
The police chief added that sympathizers joined Torhinbo in chasing the victims, adding that three suspects, in sensing danger, fled to Kurmi Divisional Police Headquarters for safety.
"Help! Help! Save us!"
"Stay outside, schlang snatchers!"
He added that the mob followed them to the station and threaten to set the station ablaze if the 3 suspects were not released to them.
"Hand 'em over or you're toast!"
"You mean...?"
"Fire 'em up, boyz!"
"No, wait! You can have 'em!"
According to the Police Boss, the mob later over powered the Policemen on duty, seized the suspects and set them ablaze along with their Jeep.
"Help! Help!"
"Shuddup! Hand me that can o' gasoline!"
The Police Commissioner, also added that recently, there was a similar incident that took place in Zing Local Government Area a town located at the Northern part of the state where one person suspected to be a syndicate of Genital organ snatcher also made his waterloo by the angry youths.
"You expect me to talk, Goldwiener?"
"No, Mr. Bond! I expect you to die!"
He then advise the members of the public to disregard any rumour of missing genital describing it as a mere false alarm and baseless.
"Tut, tut and tut! An international doinker stealing syndicate? Don't be silly!"
"In that case, where's my pud?"
"Did you look in your other pants?"
He threatened to deal with anybody who is in that habit of raising necessary alarm over the issue because according to him investigation by his intelligent department shows that there is no evidence to show the claimed Cameroonians and a Nigerian accomplice were recently lynched in Taraba state over allegations that they were involved in a case of missing genital organs.
"Da witnesses are all dead!"
"The victims are, anyway."
"Can I have my hose back?"
"No. We need it for evidence."