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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Tiger Woods said Elin Nordegren, not car crash, scratched face & chased him with golf club
2009-11-29
Tiger Woods, bolting his Florida mansion after a reported late-night fight with his wife, was found dazed and bleeding Friday after plowing his SUV into a fire hydrant and a tree.

The world's No. 1 golfer was pulling out of his driveway at 2:25 a.m. when he double-bogeyed the getaway in his 2009 Cadillac Escalade, the Florida Highway Patrol said.

Wife Elin Nordegren heard the crash from inside the couple's $2.4 million home and went to her spouse's aid, police said. The one-time Swedish model grabbed a golf club, smashed out a rear window in the SUV and helped Woods out of the wreck, said Windermere Police Chief Daniel Saylor.

But TMZ.com reported that a source said Nordegren scratched Woods' face after she went berserk over reports he was seeing another woman and chased him with a golf club, striking his vehicle as he ran from the home.
Cheeze. I think I used to be married to her. Think of that. Me and Tiger Woods -- husbands in law.
The Web site said the source talked to Woods after the smashup.

The crash came on the heels of reports in the National Enquirer and Star magazine that Woods had an affair with a New York nightclub hostess - who denied it last night to the Daily News.

Nordegren told cops she ran outside and discovered her husband bleeding from the mouth, with cuts on his lips, police said. She said she bashed out the rear window with the club and helped the 6-foot-1, 185-pound Woods out of the car. Police arrived to find Woods, drifting in and out of consciousness, lying in the street with his wife watching over him, Saylor said. He was taken to a nearby hospital about 10 minutes later.

Cops said alcohol was not involved, but offered no explanation for where the world's richest athlete was headed alone in the middle of the night.

Woods and Nordegren live in the Isleworth neighborhood with their two children, 2-year-old Sam and 9-month-old Charlie.

The accident was part of a rough week for Woods, who is on the front page of this week's Enquirer under the headline "Tiger Woods Cheating Scandal." The tabloid claimed Woods was having an affair with Rachel Uchitel - a sexy Manhattan hostess who lost a fiancé in the World Trade Center on 9/11 and was previously linked to married television star David Boreanaz.
Who?
Uchitel, a former party planner who has worked as a VIP hostess at swanky nightspots, denied it in a message sent to The News from her Facebook account.

"There is NO relationship with tiger these girls quoted in the story are not being truthful," she wrote. "I resent my name being slung thru the mud."
"I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself, thank you!"
The Enquirer story - and a similar story in Star - quoted a woman named Ashley Samson and said she was friends with Uchitel and passed a polygraph.
Posted by:Fred

#23  Frank---tell her that you are a commodore and you will protect her convoy. You will be on easy street.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2009-11-29 23:10  

#22  I am publicly offering my shoulder to cry on, my sympathy to give, and my willingness to be stepdad to their children, Elin? Call me?
Posted by: Frank G   2009-11-29 21:41  

#21  While it's a little hard not to chuckle over a celebrity dipping his pen in a strange inkwell and wifey's adverse reaction thereto, let's face the fact there's a bit of a double standard in both the reporting and in some of the public reactions. If it had been Tiger trying to beat the bejeezus out of his wife with a golf club, there'd be calls (including from a lot of us here @ the Burg) for him to be incarcerated under the jail. Better if Elin had just realized the fact there's a whole lot of hungry sharks divorce lawyers out there and acted accordingly.
Posted by: Ricky bin Ricardo (Abu Babaloo)   2009-11-29 20:43  

#20  BTW, got a snicker at how she attacked Tiger with a golf club. Beat him at his own game, so to speak.
Posted by: ed   2009-11-29 16:54  

#19  Let's see:
Tiger Woods married Elin Nordegren in October 2004
Earnings:
2005 - $87 million
2006 - $99 million
2007 - $123 million
2008 - $117 million
2009 - ?
Half of that is OUCH!, even after Johnny Fed's cut.

Posted by: ed   2009-11-29 16:52  

#18  What's half of a gazillion fortune?

Maybe not as much as you'd think. They way I read Florida divorce laws - IANAL, but I have three years truly ugly experience with divorce laws - he may only have to split what he's made since he married her, especially as she has a solid and booming career. It's going to cost him well north of seven figures, but he can afford it.

Mike
Posted by: Mike Kozlowski   2009-11-29 16:45  

#17  http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/11/28/gender-double-standards-at-work-in-tiger-woods-incident/#comments
Posted by: Plastic Snoopy   2009-11-29 15:52  

#16  Imagine that! Wifey going all ghetto on a playa hubbie. What's half of a gazillion fortune?
Posted by: ed   2009-11-29 15:50  

#15  Tiger Woods 'told friend his wife had gone ghetto on him'
Posted by: tipper   2009-11-29 13:44  

#14  Gromky nails it!
Posted by: remoteman   2009-11-29 12:23  

#13  A 2:30am event had domestic violence, or an attempt to avoid it, written all over it.
Posted by: HammerHead   2009-11-29 10:45  

#12  Women like this hate men like me and any number of others on sight.

The "teacher" is the one on the left, appropriately enough


That's a purty mouth
Posted by: North Ga Cracker   2009-11-29 09:55  

#11  ..except there will be no Rihana sympathy for the dude. In many jurisdictions, the cops are required to take in the abusing spouse. No ifs, ands, or buts. Another case of privilege over process.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2009-11-29 09:08  

#10  Has Tiger ordered a herd of elk for his estate yet?
Posted by: Glenmore   2009-11-29 08:57  

#9  "Honnneeeyyy! Do these stretch pants make me look fat?"

Posted by: Anonymoose   2009-11-29 08:56  

#8  Don't rule out stupidity.
Posted by: lex   2009-11-29 08:49  

#7  Cops said alcohol was not involved,

Money not an issue. That leaves only *****.
Posted by: Besoeker   2009-11-29 07:29  

#6  Does that sound plausible?

As plausible as any made up story, I guess.
Posted by: lotp   2009-11-29 06:25  

#5  slung thru the mud

rang, slung, it's all the same to the emmeinemnce grize what cranks this stuff out.
Posted by: Perry Stanford White   2009-11-29 06:13  

#4  SO.

Tiger Woods married the blondest Aryan woman he could find, a woman who is accustomed to being the prettiest girl in the room and accustomed to privilege. Five years and two kids later, her childrearing instincts have turned off her sex drive like a faucet. Tiger isn't getting any at home, and he's accustomed to privilege, too. So he does what a lot of men with frigid wives do and dines out once in a while. Wifey finds out in the tabloids and goes berzerk - there is no rage like the privileged getting treated like little people. She grabs a golf club and creams him square in the face. Tiger flees to his SUV and careens down the driveway, the wife shattering the window as he peels out. He's woozy from the blow and pain medication and runs over a fire hydrant. She comes upon him and the enormity of attacking her meal ticket suddenly dawns on her. She breaks down crying as she frantically calls the ambulance and prays Tiger isn't hurt. They agree to cover it up.

Does that sound plausible?
Posted by: gromky   2009-11-29 02:36  

#3  "Having an affair wid RACHEL UCHITEL" > YuhOh,l I'm a'guessin this means TIGER is now automat in charge of cooking his own Holiday meals???
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2009-11-29 02:00  

#2  Women like this hate men like me and any number of others on sight.

The "teacher" is the one on the left, appropriately enough.
Posted by: badanov   2009-11-29 00:36  

#1  The tabloid claimed Woods was having an affair with Rachel Uchitel - a sexy Manhattan hostess who lost a fiancé in the World Trade Center on 9/11 and was previously linked to married television star David Boreanaz.

As an interesting ( or maybe not so interesting ) aside, Uchitel is is the Russian transliteration for the word teacher.
Posted by: badanov   2009-11-29 00:31  

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