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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Keith Richards giving up alcohol
2010-01-27
Keith Richards has given up alcohol.
Oh, man. I think the earth just stopped rotating...
The Rolling Stones guitarist - who is known for his hellraising lifestyle - hasn't downed a drink in four months, despite previously claiming he would never become teetotal. A source close to the 66-year-old musician said: "There's no guarantees that he'll stay off it - but he's doing really well so far."
Probably went up on the drug intake. I mean, ya gotta compensate...
"He has always quite enjoyed the fact that he seemed to be able to carry on drinking as much as he liked with no real negative impact on his health."
His secret was exposed in Waynes World 2...
Garth: How can you sleep like that?
Del Preston: Listen, sonny Jim. Sleeping like this will add ten years to your life. I learned it from Keith Richards when I toured with the Stones. This may be the reason why Keith cannot be killed by conventional weapons.

It is believed Keith decided to quit booze after seeing his bandmate Ronnie Wood start drinking heavily again and eventually split from his wife of 23 years Jo to run off with 21-year-old cocktail waitress Katia Ivanova, who Ronnie is also now separated from. The source added to The Sun newspaper: "He has watched Ronnie fall well and truly off the wagon last year and he doesn't like what he sees."
Man, how screwed up is your life when you disgust Keith Richards enough to make him quit drinking...woah!
"Plus he has started to feel for the first time like it might do him some good to give up the booze for a while."
I don't know. This could be really dangerous...
Four years ago Keith suffered a brain hemorrhage after he fell out of a tree while partying on the Pacific island of Fiji, but made a full recovery.
Aah, now there's the Keith we know and love...
Posted by:tu3031

#6  That's going to put a dent in the UK's GDP.
Posted by: Omiting the Younger   2010-01-27 18:52  

#5  Republican in Kennedy's Senate seat.
Saints in the Super Bowl.
Keith Richards on the wagon.
Yep. Global Warming has reached Hades.
Posted by: Glenmore   2010-01-27 11:04  

#4  Fortunately for Keith, he has heroin, morphine, hashish, and that glowing green stuff they used in 'Re-animator', to ward off the shakes.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2010-01-27 07:49  

#3  Nah , hes just jealous that Ronnie has been in the limelight too much .. Keith knows how to SHOCK !

Give it a month more publicity then we'll see him falling out of a nightclub/tree with some totty and a a bottle of vodka and cranberry juice

Correctly filed under Short attention span :)
Posted by: Oscar   2010-01-27 03:43  

#2  "Man, how screwed up is your life when you disgust Keith Richard's enough to make him quit drinking" > D *** NG IT, THAT COMMENT IS HARD TO BEAT.

Only thing would be OZZIE NOT yelling, "SSSSHHHAAAAARRRRROOOOOONNNNNN"???

* "Giving up drinking" > Methinks I'll go wid ALL TOGETHER NOW, WITH FEELING,
"YYYEEEEEEAAAHHHHH RRRIIIGGGHHHTTT"!
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2010-01-27 01:49  

#1  Now I fear for Keith's health. I have known a couple of filthy derelicts to have cardiac arrests while getting bathed. In a perverse way, the alcohol, drugs & tobacco may be serving as his life support system.
Posted by: Anguper Hupomosing9418   2010-01-27 01:43  

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