Pyongyang, June 11 (KCNA) -- A spokesman for the Jurists Institute of Korea (JIK) in a statement on Friday bitterly denounced on behalf of all the jurists of the DPRK the Lee Myung Bak group of traitors for working with blood-shot eyes to intensify the anti-DPRK smear campaign aimed at doing harm to compatriots after bringing the inter-Korean relations to a total collapse. "Blood-shot eyes." That's okay, but the paragraph needs more vitriol.
The puppet group of traitors in south Korea cooked up the case of the warship sinking of the puppet navy in collusion with the U.S. imperialists and is passing the buck for it to the DPRK in a bid to escalate the confrontation with it, vociferating about "retaliation" and "punishment", the statement noted, and went on:
That's a lot better. The "puppet group of traitors" brings back old times, though using the word "puppet" twice in the same sentence kinda dilutes the effect. We shall now prepare for further vociferation...
Through the above-said case the group sought the following sinister aims: to divert elsewhere the south Korean people's anger at the most unpopular rule, fan up the confrontation with the DPRK and internationalize the moves to isolate and stifle it in collusion with outside forces hell-bent on the hostile policy toward it and bring down its dignified system.
Not bad, but way too long. Try shorter sentences. And not enough vitriol. What happened to the "do or die Songun army first" policy? Maybe you could dust that off.
The U.S. imperialists and the puppet warmongers orchestrated the case of warship sinking in a bid to ignite another Korean war.
"Dat's right. Dem suckers sunk their own boat and blamed it on us!"
This is also clear from the following facts: No sooner had the case occurred than the puppet conservative group and the U.S. amassed armed forces in the waters of the West Sea of Korea, talking about "a resolute retaliation," as if they had been waiting for the incident to happen. And they launched hectic diplomacy to kick off an international campaign for "sanctions" against the DPRK.
... rather than launching on offensive across the ceasefire line in retaliation for a sneak attack.
This bears a close resemblance to the situation when the U.S. imperialists kicked off invasion of Iraq.
How y'gonna argue with the logic of Rodong Sinmun? It's impeccable.
If a war breaks out on the Korean Peninsula, this is bound to spill over to the neighboring countries and then it will soon develop into a world war.
That's true. Japan's a tinderbox. China's ready to explode at any moment; all it'll take will be a nudge. And the Russers... We won't even talk about those crazy bastards.
The Lee group of traitors can never shirk off the responsibility as the criminals who orchestrated the case of warship sinking.
Lee was actually seen giving field guidance to submarine crews on the morning of the sneak attack. It'll be in all the Pyongyang papers tomorrow... Oh. Wait. This is the Pyongyang paper.
The U.S. imperialists and the Lee group of traitors keen to achieve the above-said purposes through the case will keenly realize what deadly retaliation the army and the people of the DPRK will take to defend the sovereignty of the country and the dignity of the nation.