...Oh my goodness... you look kind of confused. I get that a lot! You were probably thinking, "hey, I only wanted to move next door to Sarah Palin -- now what in the goshdarned heck is she doing inside my brain?" Well ya see, the deal is I'm not Sarah, but boy I gotta tell ya, we sure do get mistaken all the time! No, I'm just a plain ol' homunculus Sarah Palin that your own id created to sublimate your deep-seated psychosexual neuroses. Or so those egghead books say, anyway. But if you ask me that sure sounds like a lot of elite Anti-America liberal professor gobbledegook! By the way, your id says hi.Gosh darn it, where the heck are my manners? Here I am, gabbing away, like some plainspoken chatty old chatterbox, while you've probably got things to do. I imagine you've got an important op-ed or comedy skit to write about that other Sarah Palin, the one from corporeal reality. And why she's irrelevant and ridiculous and such. Oh no, don't worry, I won't take it personal. After all I'm not her, remember? Though I bet it can probably get confusing trying to keep straight which one of us is which, and who really said what. Tell you what -- why don't you just take the cookies as my gift, and I'll drop by later when it's more convenient. Or, if you like, I'll just be on my way and let you live in peace. You tell me. After all, I'm really only a figment of your imagination. Just stop thinking about me, and poof -- I'll mush the ol' dogsled straight back to your subconscious forever.
Alright, if you insist! Like they say, you should never be too busy to visit with those obsessive hallucinations who live in your head. Now you go brew up a hot pot of Folgers, and I'll take the Saran wrap off those cookies. Mind if I take a quick look-see around while you're fiddling in the kitchen? I gotta say this sure is a beautiful anterior conscious you've got here! I absolutely love the open floor plan. It reminds me a lot of Andrew Sullivan's brain. How many square feet did you say? So spacious and clean and open minded, with the neutral colors. I could really see myself in a place like this, especially with a few moose heads and Eskimo dolls to brighten things up....
Read it all, goshdarnit!