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Home Front: Politix
EPA to Regulate Moo Juice Spills the same as Oil Spills
2011-02-06
Two weeks ago, the Environmental Protection Agency finalized a rule that subjects dairy producers to the Spill Prevention, Control and Countermeasure program, which was created in 1970 to prevent oil discharges in navigable waters or near shorelines. Naturally, it usually applies to oil and natural gas outfits. But the EPA has discovered that milk contains "a percentage of animal fat, which is a non-petroleum oil," as the agency put it in the Federal Register.

In other words, the EPA thinks the next blowout may happen in rural Vermont or Wisconsin. Other dangerous pollution risks that somehow haven't made it onto the EPA docket include leaks from maple sugar taps and the vapors at Badger State breweries.
Next up to be regulated Farts. They come under the Hazzardus Vapor Release regulations. They consist of gasp Carbon Dioxide, Methane, Hydrogen Sulfide, Carbon Monoxide, and several other icky compounds.
Posted by:Deacon Blues

#23  lol James - I read that as "butter face". An old joke
Posted by: Frank G   2011-02-06 15:16  

#22  I am a DHMO addict.

I'm worried about getting hooked on the stuff, so I always cut it with a little ethanol. Don't want to sap and impurify my precious bodily fluids.
Posted by: SteveS   2011-02-06 14:57  

#21  Next up to be regulated Farts.

I submitted a post here a few days ago about an African nation that approved a law that fined people for passing gas. The post was rejected here obviously but the comments from the general public was interesting to read. "How can you tell in a crowd who just passed gas?" - "How can you bring evidence into court on this matter? Just hearsay? Kids will be bringing their parents to court! This is crazy."
Posted by: Betty Clomoque5371   2011-02-06 14:40  

#20  I hold no brief for the EPA here, but weird things have happened. An ill-maintained forklift in a food warehouse set the place on fire, and after a day or so we had a river of butter crawling towards the lake.
pictures and
story
Posted by: James   2011-02-06 12:54  

#19  Talk about an agency which is out of control.

Name one Agency that isn't out of control, or hasn't Abandoned their core mission. Excluding the DOD, but I'm expecting an outbreak of insanity there real soon.
Posted by: Secret Asian Man   2011-02-06 12:40  

#18  Next up to be regulated Farts. They come under the Hazzardus Vapor Release regulations. They consist of gasp Carbon Dioxide, Methane, Hydrogen Sulfide, Carbon Monoxide, and several other icky compounds.

"Today the Environmental Protection Agency finalized a rule that subjects all Americans to install "Afterburners". EPA has discovered that Human gas contains "a percentage of methane, which is a non-petroleum based gas," as the agency put it in the Federal Register.

The EPA mandates the installation of "afterburners", by all Americans immediately, as new holes have been detected in the Ozone layer directly above and in Washington D.C.

The EPA thinks the next blowout may happen circa April 15, 2011 and has contracted the IRS to help mitigate problems of human gas discharge.


Posted by: Goodluck   2011-02-06 12:21  

#17  This is theriouth. Do you realize the damage being done to the Thesapeake Bay by thoth Amish farmers in Pennthylvania when they spill milk into the Thuthquehannah? It is dethtroying the crabth in the bay and the price of crabequaketh is thkyrocketing. My lobbyith told me I couldn't order them yetherday. Oh the humanity.
Posted by: Your New Castrati   2011-02-06 11:34  

#16  I see a good place to cut budget dollars.
Posted by: Frank G   2011-02-06 11:30  

#15  EPA-think...just like their cultural relativity comparing US democracy with pygmy voodooism.
Posted by: Jack Salami   2011-02-06 11:26  

#14  Leaches. Found something else to grow into and suck the blood out of.
Posted by: Woodrow Ebberemp9158   2011-02-06 11:24  

#13  "Beans Boss" Holding out platefull.
"I think y'all have had enough" Boss waving hat as a fan.
Posted by: Redneck Jim   2011-02-06 11:23  

#12  This could actually be fun. It'd be cool to see true believers Ben and Jerry cuffed and doing the perp walk after another spill at the ice cream factory continues to wreak havoc on the pristine environment of Vermont...
Posted by: tu3031   2011-02-06 11:02  

#11  No use regulating over spilled milk?
Posted by: tipper   2011-02-06 10:33  

#10  Could you lobby a senator to pass a law making every EPA regulation end with a Harumpf?
Posted by: Bright Pebbles   2011-02-06 10:24  

#9  This isn't Scrappleface?

Talk about an agency which is out of control.

(I'm an addict of DHMO too...)
Posted by: CrazyFool   2011-02-06 09:00  

#8  LOL, gorb.
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2011-02-06 08:53  

#7  
Posted by: gorb   2011-02-06 04:17  

#6  You too can kick the habit. Try hydrogen hydroxide instead.
Posted by: gorb   2011-02-06 04:13  

#5  Me too. can't live without the stuff
Posted by: Mikey Hunt   2011-02-06 03:12  

#4  Hi! My name is trailing wife, an I am a DHMO addict.
Posted by: trailing wife   2011-02-06 02:23  

#3  And yet, the EPA REFUSES to regulate dihydrogen monoxide (also known as DHMO), despite the proven problems it causes: it is a major greenhouse gas. It is often found in sewage. When in the solid state it can cause tissue damage; when in the gaseous state, it can cause severe burns. Over-consumption can cause severe health problems, yet once people become addicted to it, they often die within a week or even in a few days when deprived of it. Most criminals have consumed DHMO within a day or less of committing their crimes!

Many people have signed petitions to ban, or at least regulate dihydrogen monoxide, including at the recent global warming convention in Cancun. However, the EPA and other government agencies refuse to even consider any regulations on this dangerous chemical.

For more information on DHMO, see this website.
Posted by: Rambler in Virginia   2011-02-06 02:03  

#2  I suspect neighborhood cats would take care of any spillage long before the EPA goons could get their hazmat suits on. The EPA reached the point of diminishing returns long ago. Yet more overreach from an insanely bloated bureaucracy. "We must protect our phony-baloney jobs, gentlemen!"
Posted by: PBMcL   2011-02-06 00:38  

#1  What about when fish die? Aren't they made partially of fat?
Posted by: gorb   2011-02-06 00:09  

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