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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Today's Idiot
2011-03-09
"I Just Broke Into A House And The Owner Came Home," Intruder Tells 911 Operator

After breaking into an Oregon residence last night, Timothy Chapek, 24, barricaded himself in a bathroom after the owner unexpectedly arrived home. Chapek, you see, was worried that Hilary Mackenzie might be armed (or that her barking German Shepherds could prove problematic).

So he called 911 seeking help. “I just broke into a house and the owner came home,” Chapek told a police operator. “You broke into a house?” the surprised operator responded. “I think she’s got guns,” Chapek added.
"And she's gonna neuter kill me!"
Simultaneously, Mackenzie called police to report that there was an intruder in her Portland home (she told an operator that Chapek had reported he was taking a shower).

According to a Portland Police Bureau report, Chapek told cops he was “taking a shower, nothing more.” Mackenzie reported that none of her belongings were out of place and that Chapek had “earlier made some utterance…that ‘Mexicans’ had kidnapped him and put him in the bathroom.”

Chapek, pictured in the above mug shot, was arrested and charged with criminal trespass.
Posted by:Steve White

#6  "This House Protected by Stainmaster"

But reminds me of a story, was overseas visiting a friend and his fiancee, at the parents' house stepped out for a smoke. They had a German Shepherd guarddog, must have been 5 hands I kid you not, friendly to me but weary. Started playing around a bit and couldn't get him to settle down...then remembered I was speaking English.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2011-03-09 20:45  

#5  Hypothetical conversation with the police:

"Boy, you done broke into the wrong damn house."
Posted by: nGuard   2011-03-09 15:01  

#4  See? Just the fear of guns may have prevented an assault. Happens a lot, it just isn't reported.
Posted by: gorb   2011-03-09 12:15  

#3  And idiot with a moment of clarity. Some places west of the Mississippi, its a free kill if found in your home. "Gee, he splattered just like in the video games!"
Posted by: Procopius2k   2011-03-09 09:37  

#2  Not the sharpest knife in the drawer...
Posted by: CrazyFool   2011-03-09 08:14  

#1  Â‘MexicansÂ’ had kidnapped him and put him in the bathroom
A classic just for that line.
Posted by: Spot   2011-03-09 07:54  

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