| Once again we dip our toe into the swamp that is Pakistani "news". Adorable little pen and ink drawings adorn each article at the link, but I can't figure out how to bring them over. Sorry |
Most popular law minister of Punjab Rana Sanaullah was quoted in Express as saying that Imran Khan should get his head examined as his upper storey was empty (balai manzil) and needed help from more hospitals he can build and also train boys in cricket.
'Offended nightingale' of journalism
Columnist Saleem Safi wrote in Jang stated that Pakistan's most famous Urdu columnist Haroon Rasheed had become the offended nightingale (bulbul-e-naalan) after he had answered Haroon Rasheed's disparaging comment about him. Safi in turn called him as working for various elements on which Haroon Rasheed rang him. Safi thought Haroon Rasheed and Imran Khan both could have chosen a different vocation to great advantage for themselves and the nation.
Imran puppet of Zardari!
MLN leader Pervaiz Rasheed told Jang that Imran Khan was first under the influence of Musharraf but was now taking the cue from Zardari and God willing Imran will be defeated the third time by getting his election fee confiscated by the followers of Nawaz Sharif.
Cheeky cleric of Masjid Qasim Khan
Daily Pakistan reported that the various high clergy of Pakistan had stated that the chief cleric of Peshawar's Masjid Qasim Khan had no authority to make a large section of Pakistani population to start fasting while the rest were still waiting for the Ramadan crescent to appear. That ended up with half of Pakistan celebrating Eid while the other half fasted. The clergy said the offending cleric was guilty of spreading chaos (fasad fil ard).
Hina Khar defeats SM Krishna!
Famous reporter Saleh Zaafer wrote in Jang that Pakistani foreign minister floored (chitt kar diya) her Indian counterpart SM Krishna because she was more confident than he despite his long experience. Khar did not yield an inch and was triumphant.
Hina Khar Pakistan's lethal bomb
Daily Pakistan reported that according to the Indian media Pakistan had sent its best face in the person of foreign minister Hina Khar to India for talks with her counterpart Krishna. She was a combination of good looks and brains, the most lethal bomb that Pakistan could throw on India.
Hina Khar slapped Pakistan on the face!
Daily Nawa-e-Waqt reported that many spiritual leaders and religious luminaries of Pakistan had complained that Muslim Hina Khar had done disservice to Pakistan by shaking hands with Indian Hindu foreign minister SM Krishna. They said national honour (qaumi gairat) had been violated and its face had been slapped (tamancha) by her un-Islamic act.
Minar-e-Pakistan suicide centre
Reported in Jinnah the central symbol of Pakistan's freedom Minar-e-Pakistan in Lahore commemorating the first demand for an independent homeland for the Muslims of India was locked to citizens because most tried to climb on it and then jump from there. The tower was locked in 2004 when 'pointed' suicides tended to tarnish its glory. It seemed that suicides tried to cast aspersion on the minar. The caretaker said the surrounding lake too would be filled because people were now trying to drown themselves in it.
MPA found in objectionable position
Daily Jinnah reported that a PPP MPA from Sindh Sarwar Sial was found in a Multan guest house where he was busy doing indecent things (fuhush harkaat) together with two young girls. Much love potion (jinsi adwiyat) was found on the scene. The police also arrested seven ladies connected with the guest houses.
Rs 90 crore for Thar Coal
Brave jihadi publication with an ABC rating Zarb-e-Momin reported that nuclear scientist Mubarak Mand hoping to extract gas from one of the world's vastest coal deposit in Sindh was given some hope when the government apportioned Rs 90 crore to him to buy his compressor with which to burn the coal underground.
Rehman Malik and Tablighi
Daily Jang reported that while in London Pakistan's interior minister Rehman Malik stated that Lahore-based Tablighi Jamaat was the nursery of terrorists in Pakistan. All extremists attend its annual congregation at Raiwind near Lahore and get inspiration from there. The extremists who attend are either from the madrassas nor Afghan jihad.
Shahbaz Sharif defends Tablighi Jamaat
Quoted in Nawa-e-Waqt Punjab Chief Minister Shahbaz Sharif rejected the explanation offered by Rehman Malik for his remark on Tablighi Jamaat and said that the explanation was not enough. He said the minister had been most irresponsible in London. Cut to the quick, Rehman told Nawa-e-Waqt that anything he said about the banned Lashkar-e-Jhangvi was causing the League leaders to become greatly disturbed (takleef).
Religious leaders attack Rehman Malik
A number of religious leaders led by JUI's Fazlur Rehman told daily Pakistan that interior minister Rehman Malik had committed an unforgivable sin by accusing Tablighi Jamaat of being a nursery of terrorism in Pakistan. They said that Malik had made the charge under foreign pressure. PMLQ leader Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain took objection to Malik's statement and praised Tablighi Jamaat as the world's most peaceful religious organisation.
Find the sacred shoes!
A procession taken out by Alami Tanzeem Ahle Sunnat on the occasion of the anniversary of the theft of the sacred shoes (naalain Mubarak) of Prophet Muhammad PBUH was reported in Nawa-e-Waqt as saying that they would not rest till those who stole the sacred shoes from the Lahore Fort museum many years ago are brought to justice. They gave the deadline of one month to the government to get the thieves arrested. The day is called Yaum-e-Azmat-e-Naalain-Mubarak.
Ansar Abbasi on Rehman Malik
Famous chief reporter Ansar Abbasi wrote in his column in Jang that Rehman Malik was in the city of MI6 when he was suddenly inspired to say that Tablighi Jamaat was breeding terrorists. In fact Tablighi Jamaat had achieved great success in spreading the message of Islam all over the world and had converted Pakistani cricket team. It had made cricketers Saeed Anwar, Mushtaq Ahmad, Saqlain Mushtaq and Inzimamul Haq into true Muslims who began to say collective namaz during tours. Tablighi Jamaat also converted Christian Yousaf Yohanna to Muhammad Yusuf. The West was disturbed about Tablighi Jamaat because Muslim mujahideen were beating their armies (nakon channay) in different parts of the world.
Pak-trained terrorists in Sinkiang
Daily Jang reported that 19 terrorists killed by Chinese troops in Chinese province of Sinkiang were trained in Pakistan's Tribal Areas so that they could go into the Chinese Muslim province and cause uprising there through sabotage. Two of the Pak-trained terrorists were hanged.
Ch Shujaat and Malik's 'maili aankh'
An enraged Chaudhry Shujaat of PMLQ was quoted in Jinnah as saying that no one should be stupid enough to cast a bad eye (maili aankh) on Tablighi Jamaat and that his party which was now in coalition with the PPP would spend its all on the defence of Tablighi Jamaat. On this Rehman Malik was quoted by the paper as saying that he had always had great respect for Tablighi Jamaat and that he had been misquoted in London.